


you make me feel lost, yet you're the one to find me

by closetedweeb



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Roommates, Self-Indulgent, Slow Burn, They're In Love Your Honor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 42,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26692396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/closetedweeb/pseuds/closetedweeb
Summary: aNd ThEy WeRe RoOmMaTeSENJOY DAISUGA AS ROOMATES
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 16
Kudos: 83





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing a series with one of my favourite ships :)))  
> Some quick information: I plan on updating at longest weekly, but school might change that.  
> Currently, I have no idea how long this work will be in the end but I do know it's gonna be going for quite a while so buckle up!!

"I am so tired," Suga mumbled as he walked to the kitchen. His head was dizzy from a lack of sleep and barely got out of bed this morning. If only schools started later in the day...

His roommate, sitting on one of the bar stools at the counter chuckled tiredly, "well how long did you end up sleeping for?" Suga's heart fluttered at the sleepy laugh. Daichi had been on the night shift for a while now, usually getting back to their apartment not long before his roommate woke up. 

"It's not my fault. I lost track of time," Suga complained. Daichi smiled at that.  _ Ugh, why does he have to be so gorgeous _ ...

"Weak excuse," Daichi told him. 

Suga thought for a second,  _ he's right but I don't want to tell him that _ . Turning the situation so he wasn't the target, Suga asked with an eyebrow raised, "And do you sleep enough either?" He knew the answer already. Daichi could go to sleep the minute he got home from work, but he stayed up to see Suga in the morning. He went to bed after that but was awake before Suga got back from the elementary school. That clearly left less than 8 hours for Daichi to sleep.

"Well... no," he mumbled in response. The corner of Suga's lips were pulled into a slight smirk.

"Then you don't get to judge me, as long as I don't judge you. Deal?" 

“Deal,” Daichi smiled back at Suga from his seat, as the other walked into the kitchen on the other side of the counter. He saw two empty plates sitting next to the toaster along with a jar of raspberry jam. He was making breakfast for them, even if it was just toast. Suga was lucky to have such a considerate roommate.

They definitely enjoyed each other's company, that was clear. Daichi and Suga spent most of their evenings together. Suga marking kids' work while Daichi simply enjoyed being around him. Suga knew plenty of random trivia about Daichi because of how close they had become, and that included the knowledge that Daichi hated raspberry jam. Suga had replied that his favourite flavour was raspberry and that Daichi had a weird taste in jam.

Yet for some reason Suga couldn't pinpoint, he would buy the flavour that he despised simply because Suga said he liked it.

If Suga weren't as smart as he is, he could've thought that the warm happy feeling in his heart was because he liked Daichi. No, Suga just liked being cared for. At least, that’s what he had to think. Having feelings for his roommate could never go well.

Looking over at Daichi, he suddenly felt embarrassed. He never felt embarrassed by Daichi. In fact, he always felt very comfortable around him. Could he be too comfortable? They had only known each other for a year when Suga found Daichi’s flyer looking for someone to split an apartment with.

Suga poured a glass of milk and a glass of apple juice, sliding the milk over to Daichi. “Here’s your latte without the espresso, Daichi,” Suga said in his best impression of a waiter’s professional, friendly tone. It ended up sounding almost identical to what Daichi called his ‘teacher voice.’

Daichi frowned, “Why no coffee in my coffee?” Suga felt his heart beat faster yet again. Was he… pouting? And who gave him the right to be so cute when he did it?

“You need to go to sleep soon, Daichi,” Suga reminded him. 

“Aw, Suga, are you caring for me?” He teased. Suga blushed but smiled at the same time.

“Of course I am,” he said staring down at the counter. Daichi was not allowed to see his reaction to such a simple tease. When he glanced upwards for a split second, he could swear he saw a flush of pink on Daichi’s cheeks, too.

A few seconds of awkward silence stretched between them. Suga was too focused on how flustered he had gotten with a simple conversation, one like all the others they had every morning. What had changed?

“How was work?” Suga asked in an attempt to keep his friend talking.

“Nothing special happened, really,” Daichi replied, uninterested, as his smile dropped into a neutral resting face. Suga could hear the twinge of disappointment in those words.

“Aw, no cool stories? I might just have to move out if I’m not gonna be rooming with a badass cop,” Suga sang, trying to lighten the mood.

“If I move to the day shift soon I can give you all the cool stories you want,” he promised, looking at Suga with a strangely soft look in his eyes. He was sure his expression looked just as soft, too.

“You’d do that for me?”

“Of course, if my roommate wanted me to change my whole schedule, I’d do it.”

He narrowed his eyes and smirked, “Liar.”

Daichi gasped overdramatically, “What does that mean!”

“You would move for the day shift for  _ you _ , regardless of me wanting some cool stories. You just want the stories for yourself. Y’know, if you keep this up, I might start thinking you don’t actually like me," he shrugged with a silly smile. 

"Seriously, I don't know if I want to switch to the day shift" Daichi half-mumbled in a much more serious tone.

Suga's head tipped to the side, "Why wouldn't you want to?"

"I have my reasons," the cop shrugged.

"You'd have a much better sleep schedule, and maybe you'd even be a normal productive member of society. Not to mention you'd be able to help people and beat up bad guys, just like you said you wanted to. You'd be even cooler than you are now" Suga argued. Maybe he'd overdone it with the adoration.

"But Suga, if I were on the day shift, I'd be asleep right now. Then I wouldn't be home until a few hours after you. I don't wanna give up that extra time with you." 

Suga went beet red. His mind stopped working. He knew Daichi became a cop for the sole purpose of helping others, and his current position wasn’t doing that. Was he reading too much into it to see that Daichi wouldn’t give up mere hours with Suga so that he could achieve his goal? Suga barely was able to choke out, "you make a valid point," before gulping down a bunch of his drink to get a grip on the situation. Daichi shouldn't have this effect on him. 

They ate breakfast together and talked about the best way to cut an apple after Suga suggested they make apple juice from scratch. It tastes much better than the store-bought stuff, and a small part of Suga's mind thought it would be really cute. 

Wait. Would that be too much like a date? No way, it was normal to do stuff with your friends that are date-like as long as there are no feelings involved. Suga simply wouldn’t let feelings get involved. Probably. Maybe. Honestly, it wasn’t as if he had any control over it whatsoever.

Daichi had changed out of his uniform into a snugly fitting white t-shirt. Just a t-shirt, nothing special. In Suga’s eyes, Daichi could pull off a white t-shirt better than anyone else he’d ever met. Maybe too well.

The toaster sprung up with a sudden  _ cha-ching  _ noise. Daichi scooted the stool back to stand up, “I got that,” he told Suga. 

“No, it’s fine,” Suga protested as he turned towards their food. Daichi walked up behind them.

“Suga, just let me,” he told him. Suga did not listen, he instead reached his hand out to the toaster. Daichi’s hand did the same.

Their faces spinned to look at each other. Suga laughed, Daichi smiled back. Only for a second, then Daichi looked back in the general direction of the toaster. Suga missed the smile, more than what he considered normal. 

A firm set of fingers wrapped around his wrost, causing Suga to whip his head around. 

“Hey!” he laughed, gently tugging his hand away from Daichi, trying to reach for the toast. Daichi didnt budge. He only wrapped himself around the back of Suga and held onto his other wrist. Suga laughed harder.

“Suga!” Daichi exclaimed as Suga wriggled around in his grip. Suga had already forgot why they were messing around and what they were “fighting” over. Daichi wrapped his arms around Suga, causing Suga’s arms to be dragged into an X across his torso. It was pretty much being hugged from behind, but with Daichi in complete control over Suga. Not that Suga minded, though.

_ Hmm… Daichi’s warm, it’s nice _ Suga thought to himself. He should say that out loud. Maybe it would confuse the other long enough for Suga to break free.

Suga stopped laughing and turned his head to look Daichi in the eye. The brunette was still grinning widely, but Suga’s smiled had dwindled into a gentle but flirty smirk.

“Daichi, you’re warm,” Suga hummed. Their faces were awfully close together, enough so that Suga had to flip his vision back and forth between Daichi’s eyes.

“W-what?” he stuttered. 

He leaned back into Daichi’s chest, “it’s nice, I like it.”

Daichi was rendered speechless.  _ Good _ , Suga thought. He smirked and gracefully twirled to unwrap himself from Daichi and reach for their toast.

Daichi sighed in realization, “oh, so that was just a game?” Suga turned his head to look for a moment. There was a playful smile on Daichi’s face, so he clearly wasn’t  _ actually _ hurt.

“I mean, we were  _ playing _ around, Daichi,” Suga reminded him, “were we not?”

“You make a valid point,” Daichi shrugged. Weren’t those the words Suga used earlier? Why would Daichi use them? Did it mean anything? Why was Suga acting like that could count as flirting when it was even more subtle and meaningless than the hints dropped by crushing middle schoolers? 

He spread the jam onto the toast, even though he knew Daichi wouldn’t actually like it. He wasn’t about to admit that he remembered something so obscure about him. It would make Suga seem like a crazy stalker type. Completely undateable. Why would it matter if he were dateable or not? Daichi was a friend. Suga didn’t even know if he was gay. Did Daichi know that Suga was gay? Perhaps he had failed to mention it.

As he walked around to the other side of the counter and put plates down in front of his spot and Daichi’s, Suga noticed something about the clothes Daichi was wearing as they both sat down. They were not supposed to fit like that. They were much too tight for normal sweatpants. Not Daichi’s

“Are those my sweatpants?” Suga blurted out. Daichi blushed.

“Um… Yeah, I didn’t think you would notice,” Daichi confessed.

“Why would you steal my sweatpants, Daichi?”

“Sorry!”

“They’re too small for you. It looks stupid,” Suga scoffed. Daichi slumped his shoulders.

“That’s rude, this is probably bodyshaming me,” Daichi pointed out.

“You still didn’t tell me why you’re wearing my clothes,” Suga reminds him sternly.

“Nothing about the body shaming? Okay, I get it.”

“Daichi!” Suga whined.

“I don’t know, Suga. I just wanted to?” He excused.

“You’re a terrible liar,” Suga reprimanded.

Daichi snorted, “Where did I lie?”

Suga thought for a second, then called Daichi out on his tricks, “don’t try and flip this on me! You’re the clothing thief.”

“I can’t believe you would accuse me of such a thing!” He cried out.

Suga rolled his eyes, “I  _ know _ those are mine. You admitted they were, too!”

Daichi laughed, “what? Were you planning on wearing them to work? Teachers should be professional,  _ Sugawara-sensei _ .”

Suga cringed hearing the full name. It was such a mouthful compared to just ‘Suga’ and felt like it was putting more space between him and Daichi. Even his students just called him ‘Suga-sensei.’ He bit back with, “Shut up, Officer Sawamura.”

“Fine, for you,” Daichi gave in. Suga got embarrassed again.  _ For you _ , he repeated in his mind. 

“You better not be wearing those by the time I get back from work!” Suga warned.

“Oh, Suga,” Daichi tutted as his fingers traced along his forearm. Suga tensed up and inhaled sharply, but he didn’t pull back. “I didn’t know you thought of me like that.”

His face and ears felt warm. Suga stuttered, “I- uh…” Daichi probably was gay, or at least he was secure enough with his sexuality to be able to joke around. Even so, joking like this was starting to get to Suga, and that couldn’t be what Daichi wanted.

“You what?” Daichi squinted at Suga, reading his eyes, and it felt like he was staring into his soul. Daichi was great at reading people’s lies.

He gulped. “I just want my goddamn clothes back,” he snapped back.

Daichi’s hand moved back to his body. Damn. Suga kinda wanted him to do it again, to touch him again. Last time he checked. Friends might be allowed to touch each others’ arm, but it wasn’t normal to want them to touch him, or to move closer. To fill the gap between them. To want for closeness beyond the bounds of a platonic relationship.

Oops.  _ That wasn’t supposed to happen _ , he scolded himself silently.

They talked for the rest of breakfast without anything special happening. Suga’s mind was racing with thoughts about these newfound feelings. Feelings… for Daichi? He wasn’t sure.

He hadn’t showered since he got home from work since he was a little later than usual coming in this morning, and Suga was almost up. After they had both finished the toast, Suga volunteered to clean up their dishes. Daichi walked away to their bathroom, and Suga let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as his muscles untensed.

He remembered his sweatpants as he heard the water begin running through the wall. Daichi would have to take them off to shower, and that gave Suga the opportunity to steal them back.

The rings clattered as they pulled a shower curtain along a rod, signalling that his roommate was in the shower. Suga smiled, he could sneak in. 

He walked over to the bathroom and raised his hand to the doorknob. He turned the knob and opened the door slowly and carefully, trying to not make a noise. He hadn’t been noticed yet. Daichi was completely unaware of his presence on the other side of the opaque curtains

On the floor, there was a pile of Daichi’s clothes, including Suga’s sweatpants. He kneeled down to pick them up. His mind easily registered that this meant his mission was accomplished. 

He stood back up too and hit a bottle of hair gel off of the counter. Suga flinched as it hit the floor loudly. “Shit,” he exclaimed. Daichi must have heard that, and if not, he would’ve heard Suga’s reaction.

“Suga?” Daichi called out. It sounded like the cop was absolutely petrified. 

Suga quickly realized how this situation must have looked. He was in the washroom while Daichi was bound to be entirely naked. Only a thin sheet of plastic fabric was separating them. It was even worse if Daichi had guessed if Suga was gay, which he definitely had, he’s not blind. Would he just end up looking like a predator?

Daichi teased him, “Suga, I didn’t think you would go this far to get me. This is a bit inappropriate, don’tcha think?”

Suga squeaked, and his face heated up to a vibrant red blush. He snatched the sweatpants and ran out the room, slamming the door. He heard a muffled cackle on the other side.

He sat down in the living room. He tried to come up with a way to explain his way out of the situation. He could just say he wanted his sweatpants back, it was the truth and didn’t make him look like a sexual predator.

When Daichi calmly walked out into the living room, Suga realized his mistake, and why he couldn’t just say that taking his sweatpants back was a completely innocent act

He was standing in his underwear and the white t-shirt, and nothing else. His legs entirely exposed. 

Suga’s hands cupped his reddening face. “Why are you walking around in your underwear?” he squealed.

“Calm down, this is my place, I should be allowed to walk around wearing whatever I want,” Daichi reasoned.

“But what about me?” Suga asked.

“You can wear whatever you want to, I’m not stopping you,” Daichi told him. Suga’s eyes moved down to his roommate’s exposed legs. Muscular. His vision quickly snapped up to his face again

“That’s not what I meant,” Suga replied, his voice breaking.

Daichi’s face was filled with confusion.  _ Please don’t try to read me _ , Suga begged. He didn’t even want to look at his stupidly attractive face, somewhere else, anywhere else. His eyes moved to the bare skin of thighs again. No, not there, he didn’t wanna get caught looking there.

“Hey stop acting like that,” Daichi scolded. Suga’s eyes snapped up. He got caught. “I’d be wearing pants if you didn’t steal them.”

Oh. Daichi was clueless, good. Or was he? His statement was pretty vague. To Suga, it was undecipherable. As if he weren’t already confused enough. He lashed out, “You shoudln’t be naked when I’m here.”

Daichi frowned and yelled back, “It’s your goddamn fault!”

Suga hated when Daichi yelled at him. As far as he could remember, it hadn’t happened before, and he hoped it never happened again. His voice lowered as he said, “you could’ve gone to you room to get some of  _ your _ clothes.”

Daichi rubbed the back of his neck, “I didn’t have any pants left except for work clothes, so I just took yours. Sorry, I didn’t realize it was that big of a deal.”

“You’ve gotta have something,” Suga scoffed, “here, I’ll help you look.” He walked past Daichi and into his room at the end of the hall. Daichi rushed after him, protesting that he didn’t need Suga to find something for him.

He rolled his eyes jokingly and pulled open the drawers on Daichi’s dresser. Suga rifled through messily folded clothes, trying to find something for the other. 

“Please, Suga, stop,” Daichi fought. Suga turned around to see him, standing there with embarrassment plastered across his face. There was no way he was gonna stop looking. He had to know about whatever Daichi was hiding. Something not child-friendly? Suga would never let him live it down.

Instead he came across a beaten up notebook with a pen clipped onto the front cover. Suga pulled it out of the drawer out of curiosity. “What’s this?” Suga asked.

“Put it back,” Daichi pleaded.

Suga was completely asked so he dug deeper, “Why would you hide a notebook where you keep your clothes?”

Daichi lunged forward and grabbed the mystery notebook from Suga’s grasped. He thought for a moment before developing a hypothesis as to the identity of the notebook.

“Daichi,” Suga giggled, “Do you have a diary?”

His roommate blushed furiously, causing Suga to burst into hysterics. That reaction completely confirmed his suspicions.

“Please don’t laugh,” Daichi mumbled. It wasn’t like him to act so shy, as Daichi was a very comfortable and confident person, without coming off as cocky or overbearing. Suga liked that about him, and he needed it back. He broke Daichi, oh no.

“It’s not bad, it’s just a diary,” Suga assured him, as he got off his knees and stood face to face with Daichi.

“Really?” He questioned.

“Of course not, and if it helps, I won’t look through it,” He promised. Daichi smiled back at him. Suga wasn’t sure if his heart could take seeing that smile for much longer, so he looked down at his toes.

Daichi hummed, “thank you, it makes me feel a lot better.”

Anything for him to feel better, although he was kind of curious to know what kind of things were written inside. Did Daichi write anything about him? Suga noticed how little control over himself he had right now. He needed to get changed for work.

Suga excused himself after thrusting a pair of gym shorts at Daichi’s chest.

He chose out a simple white button down and caramel brown dress pants, with a black belt for some contrast. It was a simple outfit, but comfortable, and Suga thought it was flattering.

He left his bedroom later that morning looking at the watch on his wrist to check the time. 

Suga looked over at Daichi, sitting in their living room, when he heard him tell him, “oh, you look great.”

_ The outfit, Suga, he means the outfit. _ Although, he couldn’t help but wonder what Daichi commenting on his outfit meant, either. It didn’t make much sense why he would even find Suga’s clothes good enough to point out. After all, it was similar to what he wore every weekday.

Maybe it did make a little sense, Suga  _ did  _ find Daichi’s uniform extremely attractive on him after all this time.  _ He doesn’t think of you that way, idiot! Wait. What’s ‘that way’? What do you think of him? _

Suga managed to convince himself that although he found Daichi very attractive, he wouldn’t dare think of him as anything more than his friend, his roommate, or anything else strictly platonic. 

A response, he remembered he probably needed to give one. “Thank you,” he chimed as he walked towards the exit, “I gotta get to work.”

Daichi stood up, which Suga was not expecting. Then he walked over to Suga, which he was not expecting. Then Daichi smiled at him and said, “Good bye.”

That was normal, at least. Suga smiled back and replied the same way,”Good bye, Daichi.”

He stepped forward into a hug. Daichi froze for a second, scaring Suga. Did he push a bit to far? It was just a hug, right? Friends can hug each other.

Suga’s worried stopped when Daichi hugged him back. He squeezed quickly before releasing Daichi altogether. 

Suga waved as he walked out of the doorway, down the hall. His head turned around when Daichi closed the door behind them. He slapped his hands over his face

Sugawara Koushi was confused, embarrassed, and possibly infatuated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> D e n s e c h i

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all know FRIENDS, right? You may be weebs, but y’all still should’ve seen it. My only point here is that the apartment they’re in has the same layout as Joey and Chandler’s apartment.

Daichi’s eyes opened carefully and slowly before immediately gluing themselves shut again. He must’ve fallen asleep on the couch. That couch pointed his face towards the “office” area Suga used to work at home, right next to an open window allowing sunshine to pour into the apartment and subsequently his eyes.

Sleeping during the daytime was never an issue for Daichi, as long as he stayed in his bedroom with blackout curtains, but he wasn’t in his room at this moment, now was he?

It was no use trying to get back to sleep, Suga was probably going to be home soon, anyways. 

He forced his heavy eyelids open. In front of him was something he didn’t expect. Suga was sitting in his office chair at the desk. His eyes scanned across a pile of papers in front of him. The red pen in his hand often dipped downwards to scratch notes and marks on whatever assignment he was reviewing.

Suga then turned to glance at Daichi, freezing in place with eyebrows raised and mouth dropped open once he saw Daichi’s open eyes.

Suga’s face stretched into an open-mouthed grin, and Daichi couldn’t help but smile back.

“Good afternoon, sleepyhead,” Suga teased.

“Hi, Suga,” he mumbled back. Daichi was not a very vocal person when he had just woken up, and Suga knew this from the weekends that Daichi worked while Suga stayed home.

Suga’s face softened, causing Daichi’s stomach to flip. He continued, “I was wondering when you were gonna get up, I’ve been home for so long already!”

Daichi involuntarily tensed up. How long did he sleep? It was a rare feat that Suga was home before Daichi got up on school days. Plus, he just said he had been home for a long time. Maybe the comments about his unhealthy sleep schedule had subconsciously made Daichi attempt to catch up on all the hours he had missed.

However, missing more time with Suga was something he would sacrifice his sleep for.

“What time is it?” Daichi slurred, finally starting to wake up a little bit. His head raised off the pillow, and he rubbed his eyes like a child. How embarrassing.

Suga giggled lightly, “I was kidding. I only got in around 20 minutes ago, and I felt like you needed the sleep.”

“Wow, I was worried for a second,” Daichi sighed. He sat up on the couch, pushing off a blanket that he had no recollection of being there when he fell asleep.

“Aw, sorry to worry you, Daichi,” he mocked. Suga had previously made a point about not using that tone of voice around his elementary schoolers because he didn’t want to seem condescending. He was being condescending to Daichi.

“Why is there a blanket?” Daichi asked bluntly, with a sudden change of subject. Suga may not even know. He could’ve just put the blankets on himself

“Oh,” Suga blushed, lowering his voice, “I just put it on you, but I mean you didn’t even need it for that long anyway.” It felt nice to be cared about, especially by Suga for some reason. Imagining Suga coming home to him asleep on the couch, and then deciding to put a blanket over him, Daichi couldn’t help himself from feeling warm inside.

Daichi choked out, “thank you.” 

“I’m glad you’re up sooner, anyway,” Suga reassured him. 

“Why?” Daichi pried. He really wanted a reason that Suga liked him being around. Sure, they were friends, but he loved that his enjoyment was reciprocated.

“Glad you asked! I brought a surprise for this evening,” he replied cheerfully. 

“Hmm?” Daichi pushed further, requesting details. Hopefully, Suga would get that message from the hum.

He did, and answered with a peppy, “Come look.”

Suga jumped up from the swivel chair, clearly excited, and rushed over to the couch as if to collect Daichi from it. His energy was not matched by Daichi externally, but his soft smile was an indicator of the happiness he felt at seeing Suga’s good mood. 

Suga took his hand a guided him into the kitchen without a second thought. His hand. Daichi was holding his hand. He reminded himself this is something friends are totally allowed to do. Plus, it was only to lead him to the kitchen, and Suga didn’t seem to think it was that big of a deal. Especially after Daichi’s hand was dropped once he had scuffled his feet to their destination.

Two green cloth bags were sitting on their counter. The ones they both used for groceries, but it was Daichi’s turn to do the shopping. Plus, Suga had just gone this weekend.

“It’s weird that you got groceries, but not that big of a deal,” Daichi turned to Suga.

Suga rolled his eyes and slapped his arm, a little too hard to be considered playful despite that being Suga’s obvious intentions. He had a track record for being firm with playful hits, and it wasn’t like it affected him. Suga scoffed at Daichi, “look inside the bags.”

He pulled the opening out to reveal a pile of apples. The same was found in the second bag. Why did Suga buy a bunch of apples? As far as Daichi could tell, this was entirely unprecedented. He looked at Suga, searching for a hint as to the purpose of the fruit

Suga answered the question without Daichi having to ask it, “I wanted to make apple juice.”

“That sounds like fun,” Daichi told him, although he was actually kinda confused. It didn’t matter what they were doing, it mattered that Daichi was with his favourite person, and his favourite person was happy.

“Yea! I’ve never tried it myself before, but I thought about it this morning,” Suga added. 

“I haven’t either,” Daichi replied, “but isn’t this a lot of apples?” He gestured at the two bags which were full with dozens of apples each.

Suga looked away bashfully, and he laughed timidly, “I didn’t know how many we would need, so I got extras.”

Daichi smiled, “just in case?”

“Just in case,” he affirmed. Suga was clearly relieved to not be judged, but it shouldn’t be a surprise. Daichi was never really judgemental to him.

“Hey, Suga?”

“Yea?”

“Do you know how to make apple juice?”

“Uh…” Suga trailed off. Daichi sighed. He couldn’t be mad, he thought Suga was being really cute about it. 

Daichi made a quick search on his phone that had been sitting on the kitchen counter. “We have a blender,” he stated, although it should’ve come out as a sort of inquiry. The lack of additional information clearly confused Suga, but regardless, he nodded in agreement. He continued, “We can use a blender to make juice, and then some mesh cloth.”

“Oh, do we have mesh cloth?” Suga wondered.

“I think it’s in the bottom drawer.”

Maybe that was a mistake, Suga bent over to look through the kitchen drawer, completely unaware that Daichi was behind him trying desperately to avert his gaze. Friends do not stare at their friends’ asses.

“Found it,” Suga said as he popped back up holding a bundle of cheesecloth. Daichi was relieved, then guilty for being relieved.

Daichi grabbed two chopping boards down as Suga grabbed the pairing knifes to peel and slice the apples, as many as would fit into their blender is what they agreed on.

The pair ended up being crammed close together due to the kitchen’s ‘minimalist’ layout. 

This was never a problem before, as kitchen space wasn’t a priority for two men who mostly ordered takeout. Now, as Daichi’s arm was being shoved against Suga’s, it was suddenly the biggest issue in the world.

It wasn’t as if contact between the two was bad, or even unfamiliar. They were best friends and roommates, they weren’t going to be freaked out by their arms pressed together. That was Daichi’s issue, he wasn’t supposed to be freaked out. It was his arm, what was there to be freaked out about? Somehow Suga had reduced his mentality to that of an obsessive teenage girl. 

Suga was acting completely different today, and Daichi had no idea what was happening. The teasing from him in the morning was borderline flirting. Sneaking into the bathroom while Daichi showered was very uncharacteristic of him, even though his ulterior motive was logical. Then, this apple-juice-making activity was very out of the blue. Not to say that Suga couldn’t be spontaneous, but this was new.

He couldn’t help but notice how happy Suga was today. Maybe something had happened at work. Whatever it was, Daichi was glad it happened because when Suga was happy, Daichi was happy, too. 

He decided to ask about it, “Suga? Did work go well today?”

Suga looked at him surprised for a second, before deciding the randomness of the question was unimportant and answering, “It was fine, nothing special happened.”

That was odd, Daichi questioned him, “You just seem extra happy, why?”

Suga thought for a moment, shrugged, and simply said, “you.”

Daichi thought that was the dumbest response he could’ve given. He wasn’t going to insult Suga, but he did remind him, “I’m always here.”

Suga turned his head to look at Daichi, he tilted his head ever so slightly and smiled softy, squinting his eyes. “I know, and that makes me happy,” Suga denoted.

“O-oh,” he sputtered out. That was… actually really cute. “I happy to have you, too,” he agreed. Suga turned his head back to the apple he was currently cubing, clearly pleased with himself.

Daichi convinced Suga that they had rough apples, despite Suga’s stress over a large amount of leftover fruit. Their hands brushed together a few times as apples piled into the blender, making Daichi way too flustered. It was just Suga.

The lid went on, and the apples turned into a pulp. A disgusting paste, which Suga whined about as Daichi poured it into the cloth his friend was holding over a pitcher. He spilled a little on Suga, causing him to burst out, “Daichi! Gross.”

“What? Are you afraid of getting a little dirty?” Daichi remarked. Suga scowled at him.

“I’m not in the mood for dirty jokes right now,” Suga grumbled.

“Not in the mood?” he retorted with an eyebrow raised suggestively, “Oh, well that’s what the jokes are for.”

“Daichi, that makes it sound like you’re trying to turn me on,” Suga noted. Suga was joking back. Good, that meant Daichi’s goal had been achieved. 

Daichi played along, “Who says that wasn’t my end goal?”

“The apple junk all over my hands,” he glowered.

“Oops, sorry!” Daichi apologized.

“What a mess, you’re getting it everywhere,” Suga grumbled. Daichi stifled laughter, as his twisted sense of humour immediately made him think of something a little more sexual. Suga clearly understood why Daichi found it funny, and sighed, “Seriously? The elementary schoolers I teach have a more mature sense of humour than you.”

“Your elementary schoolers don’t understand sex jokes,” Daichi pointed out.

Suga rolled his eyes. Daichi was slightly hurt, but he immediately shrugged it off. He would grow up, but the immature jokes would not leave. Not even for Suga.

They strained the fruit mush into juice. Daichi was equally disgusted and excited. Sure, the apple mush wasn’t that different from apple sauce, but he also found apple sauce gross. It was like baby food, bland flavour and nauseating texture.

The juice, however, was good. Suga’s reaction to the juice was good. It was simply apple juice, but it was something that they had made. The proud grin on Suga’s face showed how happy he could be over something so simple and small.

Suga squeezed the contents of the cloth to get the last drops of apple juice out. Daichi scrunched his face up in disgust. 

Suga frowned at him, “what?” There was a tone of annoyance in his voice.

“Is this not kind of gross to you?” Daichi questioned. He wondered if any sane person could actually squish a bag of fruit guts and not want to empty the contents of their stomach into the nearest garbage can. 

“Of course it’s gross. It’s wet and squishy,” he whined. Daichi smirked. 

“Y’know what else is wet and squishy?” Daichi taunted. Suga rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling, so this clearly didn’t bother him too badly.

“Well, I think… _ that  _ is gross too,” he muttered. He didn’t like female parts? That’s a good sign. Wait, Daichi already knew that Suga was gay. It was part of why they could get along so easily, as it made the two just that much more similar.

The two continued to talk about nothing important, neither of them had anything to do, though, with the exception of Suga needing to wash his hands. The pitcher had been filled with as much juice as they were gonna get, and Suga reached up to grab two clear plastic cups from the top shelf. 

He thought it was cute that Suga had to lift off his heels onto tiptoes to reach the top shelf. Sure, Daichi was only a few inches taller, but those few inches were enough to give Suga a bunch of cute behaviours. 

“It looks a little cloudy,” Daichi pointed out, inspecting the drink. The colour seemed a little browner than the stuff he had drunk previously.

Suga scoffed, “it’s homemade, what did you expect? I’m just happy it turned out at all.”

He shrugged, “fair point.”

Suga smiled at him as he passed Daichi his cup. He felt his heart tug in his chest. His smile was infectious, and Daichi barely even noticed that he had begun to smile widely, too.

He took a swig of the apple juice, it was really good. The flavour was much closer to biting into an apple than the stuff Suga had this morning.

“I like it!” Suga announced looking at his creation with a cheerful expression.

“Me too,” Daichi agreed.

“Wanna get dinner?”

“Depends on if we’re going out or not,” Daichi specified.

Suga giggled, “we’ll stay in.”

“Good.”

“We can watch a movie and eat apples,” Suga suggested.

Daichi groaned, “I’m gonna be sick of apples by the end of the week.”

“Hey,” Suga mocked jokingly, “would you rather not have apple juice?”

“I couldn’t care less about the apple juice,” he lied, as he picked up the pitcher to refill the cup he had just downed.

Suga laughed and grabbed the remaining bag of apples and joked, “it’s dinner.”

“Only for tonight,” Daichi warned.

“Of course,” Suga agreed as he nodded obediently, “tomorrow we’ll be healthy again.”

...

Daichi smiled and walked over to their couch with the juice and cups in hand. It was more of a loveseat than a couch since it only had two seats. Daichi sat down and relaxed against the dark brown upholstery. The ivory throw pillows fit snug against his back.

Suga walked through to where he was sitting and the apples in front of them. Daichi frowned in confusion when Suga walked back through to the kitchen. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Getting us some real food,” Suga called back. He heard the fridge door open, and then Suga shuffling around the contents of the refrigerator. 

“Apples are real food,” Daichi complained. 

“Protein, Sawamura,” Suga tutted. 

Daichi heard some beeping from Suga’s direction. He turned around to look and perched his arms on the back of the couch. “What’s in there?”

“Chicken,” Suga told him while looking back over his shoulder. There was chicken in the takeout they had from a few nights ago.

“Cool,” He replied, hopping back to face the tv. “What do you wanna watch?”

“Um, something fun?” Suga suggested vaguely. 

“Do you mean comedy?” he guessed.

Suga shrugged, “Sure.”

Daichi flipped through the movies. He skimmed over the synopses and considered Suga’s taste more than his own. 

He found one that looked like it would appeal to them both. Daichi hoped Suga would like it. It would be nice to see him laughing and enjoying something. 

Suga came over with two plates and Daichi started the movie. 

When he sat down beside Daichi, Suga’s arm was pressed against his. It was just his arm, and it wasn’t as though Suga was leaning into him. Either way, he was enjoying the warmth radiating off of his friend. 

It was reasonable for them to have a smaller, compact sofa. After all, there were only two of them living in the apartment, and this couch took up less space. Now, it seemed like one of the most frustrating things in the world. Daichi had to move his arm away, or else his mind would begin to compare this to the situation of a date. 

It wasn’t a date, this was simply the way he was spending a Thursday night with his friend. He looked over at said friend to remind himself. It did not help. All he saw was soft silver hair and dimly lit features that were fixated on the movie.

Daichi forced himself to look away. What was wrong with him? He was just trying to watch the movie. Maybe he wouldn’t be thinking so much about Suga if the movie didn’t have a dry start.

It all turned out to be preamble that would make them understand the later jokes that made them both laugh. Suga laughed especially hard, as he was in a good mood and had no reason to hold back. It was different than the small giggles and chuckles that he heard in responses during their lighthearted conversations. His laugh was cheerful, bubbly, and filled the room with his positive energy.

Suga’s laugh was also infectious. At least, to Daichi it was. Suga understood a joke that Daichi didn’t, and burst out laughing. Tears were burning at the edges of his eyes. Daichi soon found him laughing alongside him. Even if the joke didn’t make sense, he was still happy and he still found it funny somehow. He was coerced into genuinely laughing.

His smile was really pretty. The way his eyes squinted drew attention to the birthmark sitting below his eyes. Daichi hadn’t noticed how cute it was before.

His eyes went back to the screen. He lectured himself mentally for daring to think of Suga as something other than a strictly platonic relationship. He took back the thought. What was so bad about recognizing when he thought a guy was cute? It wasn’t as if he was going to fall in love or develop any romantic feelings whatsoever.

Suga and Daichi laughed along for the rest of the movie. It was good. The two both enjoyed the lighthearted fun, and Daichi revelled in the fact that he chose a movie Suga was liking.

He found it hard to label whatever it was that he was feeling. Perhaps it was jealousy. It made him feel horrible that he was jealous of Suga, but that was the most reasonable explanation.

That must be why Daichi was starting to notice all these tiny things about Suga for no reason. He thought Suga was great, and maybe he would like to have those things too. 

Perhaps he felt a light feeling in his stomach when Suga laughed because he wished his laugh could make other people feel happy. The reason he had to relearn how to breathe every time Suga smiled at him was that he wished his smile made him look even more beautiful and angelic than usual. The reason every touch made him flinch away was that he was jealous.

No, that made no sense. Daichi hadn’t been jealous a lot, but he was sure he didn’t feel the need to have all these qualities that Suga had that made him so charming or endearing. He was likely just happy for his friend.

Daichi was happy that his closest friend and the person he lived with got to be so amazing. That was a reasonable explanation.

Happy with this resolution to his worries, Daichi turned his focus back to the movie. The movie itself was very good, but Daichi knew that watching it in the future would make him smile because of the memories of Suga, instead of the actual content of the movie. 

Suga was getting tired. It must have been a tiring day at work, and in combination with the lack of sleep from the previous night, it made sense that Suga was yawning already at only eight. 

His laughter had gotten progressively softer over the last hour of the movie as well, but it really only clicked with Daichi that Suga was tired when the smile had stretched into a big yawn. It almost frustrated Daichi that he looked so cute yawning.  _ Does everything he does have to be so cute? How is that fair? _

Daichi did not face this same issue, as he had only woken up a few hours ago. He was wide awake when he felt Suga gently rest his tired head against Daichi’s shoulder. He could smell what he assumed to be Old Spice. It was still cute that they shared a body wash.

Maybe the concept of sharing all your hygiene products seemed weird to some, but Daichi and Suga had the same favourite products for most of their routine. It would’ve been weirder to have duplicates of everything lying around. Daichi was pretty sure the only difference between the two was the cologne he used versus the perfume that he discovered in Suga’s room. A cinnamon bun scented one that made him smell like baking. 

The same cinnamon bun smell currently sitting right under his nose, lying on his shoulder. If that weren’t a human person he’d be tempted to eat him. Well, there was a way to  _ eat  _ a person without actually eating them, but that kind of thing was not allowed to be thought about friends. Especially friends who he shared an apartment with.

Soft silver hair brushed against his neck. It seemed too perfect that Suga’s head fit into his neck and shoulder so perfectly. They fit together so perfectly. 

Not just right now, but always. Daichi felt completely comfortable around Suga. They didn’t get sick of each other which Daichi sometimes found odd, considering how much time they spent together. The only fights they had were small disagreements over small issues that didn’t affect them for more than a couple of minutes.

“Are you tired?” Daichi asked in a hushed tone. He didn’t need to be loud, Suga was tired and his ear was only a few inches from Daichi’s mouth.

“Mhm,” Suga mumbled back. He left his head where it was. That was a small relief to Daichi. He was fine with a head on his shoulder, so he didn’t want his questioning to be taken as dislike.

“You wanna go to bed?” Daichi wondered. 

He was genuinely confused when Suga responded with a little chuckle. Luckily for him, Suga explained, “that sounds like you’re asking for me to sleep with you.”

_ I might if your sleepy voice keeps being so attractive,  _ Daichi thought before immediately hating that he had even thought it. His reply shut down the conversation before his mind could wander again, “Of course not, but do you?”

“Of course? That’s a bit harsh,” Suga fake whined. He said it as though the words made him think Daichi was repulsed by Suga. As if that could be possible while Suga’s head was still rested on his shoulder.

“Not really, I just wouldn’t ask my best friend to sleep with me,” Daichi said. He would’ve shrugged if it wouldn’t have bothered the man whose head was resting on him.

“Am I not good enough for you?” he joked.

“You’re too good for me,” he whispered back without thinking. That response should not have left his lips. His bit his tongue.

Suga was quiet, so Daichi was concerned. They didn’t speak for the rest of the movie. In all honesty, Daichi didn’t quite know what that had meant, but he knew that it caused Suga to not only shut up but to stop laughing as well.

Daichi reminded himself that if it bothered Suga that much, he wouldn’t be in the room anymore, let alone resting against him.

The ending credits eventually rolled through. While Daichi hadn’t forgotten about what he blurted out before, he felt comfortable enough to talk to the sleepy teacher.

“Hey, Suga,” he breathed just loud enough for him to hear.

“Hey, Daichi,” Suga mumbled back. 

“Do you wanna go to sleep, now?” Daichi worried.

“It’s too early,” he whined quietly.

Daichi frowned, “Suga, you need to catch up on sleep.”

Suga huffed, “I’m fine, I need to make my lesson plan for tomorrow anyways.”

Daichi was stunned, “You did all of your lesson plans over the weekend.”

Suga mumbled indignantly, “I don’t remember that.”

“Are you too tired to remember?” Daichi joked. 

“No,” he pouted, Suga was acting like a little child. His legs had even curled up on the couch at some point.

Daichi had to stop himself from bursting out into a fit of laughter. He wasn’t even fully down from the high of the comedy they had finished watching. Daichi would’ve stopped the generic bouncy music playing alongside the credits, but he didn’t want to reach for the remote when that meant moving Suga’s head off of him. Daichi softly smiled despite knowing that Suga wouldn’t even see, and said, “you have to go to sleep, Suga.”

“Make me,” he huffed stubbornly. Now that seemed too flirty for sleep-deprived Suga.

“Ok,” Daichi said. He turned away and stood up, despite Suga’s whine of protest when his resting spot was taken away.

Daichi scooped Suga up off of the couch and started carrying him newlywed style towards their bedroom, “Daichi! Daichi what are you doing? Daichi!” Suga squealed, “Hey! Are you not even listening to me?” Daichi was listening to him, albeit ignoring him.

He dropped Suga outside of his door after a mere ten steps. His arms crossed in front of his chest as he pouted looking at Daichi. “I could’ve done that myself,” he pointed out, they weren’t far from the couch. In fact, they were still in the living room.

“But would you?” Daichi question.

Suga frowned, “no.”

“There, you proved my point.”

“Shut up…”

“Good night, Suga,” he hummed with a smirk.

“I’m not going to sleep,” Suga replied, opening the door to his room.

“Sure,” Daichi laughed.

“Good night.”

“Good night,” he replied. Suga’s door shut and the moment came to an end.

  
_ Stop worrying about him, _ Daichi warned himself,  _ you need to get ready for work _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided that both Suga and Daichi smell like Old Spice because of Old Spice supremacy. Anyways I also thought it gave soulmate vibes that they shared a body wash.  
> The next chapter will be very fun to write, so I expect it to be a bit longer than the first two.  
> See y'all next week


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uhhh this update is a bit shorter than I was thinking, but I still really like it.  
> Oh yeah this is where the T rating comes in. For now at least, I really don’t think this should be rated G.

“Sugawara!” An adult’s voice called. It caught him off guard, as Suga had been hearing the high pitched squeaks of children for the last several hours.

  


He turned his head around to see Oikawa-sensei standing at his door. Suga was standing at his desk, stacking completed homework assignments to take home.

  


“Hello, Oikawa-san,” he greeted cheerfully. The empty classroom gave off a chilly mood when the lights were off, as they were now. He really wanted to go home to the welcoming atmosphere of Daichi and their well-lit, well-decorated apartment. 

  


Oikawa walked across the front of his classroom in front of the marked-up whiteboard. He smiled at Suga and asked him, “Do you have someplace you need to be?”

  


“Yes, home” Suga answered honestly, continuing to pack his things. 

  


Assuming that Suga was joking, he laughed, “I’m pretty sure being a smartass isn’t your usual behaviour.

  


It wasn’t, to be honest. Suga didn’t like that Oikawa was implying that he was trying to come off as a smartass right now. He frowned, “I wanna go home, Oikawa.”

  


“It’s Friday night, are you kidding me?” Oikawa gasped. It was painfully obvious that Oikawa was constantly acting, but as his facade never broke, Suga didn’t really know what his coworker was actually like. For now, his clearly fake personality was infuriating.

  


Suga sighed, rolling his eyes. “I’m not kidding. I have work to do.”

  


“Boring! You have the whole weekend,” Oikawa yelled. He was being very dramatic, as per usual. It would be tiring, but this was nothing next to Bokuto-sensei.

  


Suga asked a hypothetical question, “What else am I supposed to do?” 

  


Oikawa’s face was immediately filled with glee. That’s not good. Suga didn’t desperately want to go home since his brain was always so confused around Daichi recently. Oikawa becoming part of his new plans was not what Suga needed, however.

  


Clearly, that question was exactly what he was looking for. “Join Bokuto, Kuroo, and me at the club,” Oikawa requested.

  


“The club?” He prodded with one eyebrow raised. Suga was not the type to go to a club. It wasn’t that he’d never been, and he didn’t hate the experience the few times he did go clubbing. Suga just preferred other things than having drunk, sweaty strangers dancing terribly on all sides of him to generic music with any sort of beat.

  


“Yea! The one downtown,” Oikawa explained with an enthusiastic tone. 

  


Suga nodded, “I’ve heard of it.” He knew of the club although he had never actually been there before. 

  


“So you’re coming?” He replied eagerly.

  


“Of course not,” Suga scoffed. He was going to go home, see Daichi, and finish marking the tests he had promised to give his students back on Monday.

  


Oikawa whined, “Suga!! You can’t stay home every Friday when you’re still young.” He pouted at Suga, whose brain was turning over thoughts trying to come up with an excuse Oikawa would care about. “Please? It’ll be fun.”

  


“I don’t have a way to get home,” Suga asserted. He crossed his arms firmly in front of his chest.

  


Oikawa was unphased. He shrugged, “I can give you a ride, we’re taking my car over anyways since the three of us carpool most mornings.”

  


Suga rolled his eyes, “there’s not a chance in  _ hell _ that  _ you _ are staying sober.”

  


The insult was kind of harsh but Oikawa was unphased. “Then you can drive the three of us home, be our designated drivers.”

  


“Drivers plural?”

  


“Yea, Kuroo’s boyfriend won’t let him get drunk anymore,” Oikawa explained. Oh, Kuroo had a boyfriend. Suga realized he didn’t pay that much attention to the other teachers’ private lives. 

  


“That’s good because I don’t wanna be the designated driver,” Suga grumbled.

  


Oikawa smirked, “You’re coming with us and getting drunk?”

  


“Yup,” he confirmed.

  


“Oh!” he teased in a patronizing tone, “Is Mr. Refreshing actually a party boy?”

  


“The opposite, actually,” Suga answered honestly, “I haven’t been drunk in so long, and I just need it.”

  


“I’m so glad to see your fun side,” Oikawa gushed. Suga was still skeptical about going out with Oikawa and the other two, but that was irrelevant if he was able to forget all about them tonight.

  


He reached for Suga’s hand and pulled him out of the room. Suga haphazardly grabbed his belongings before leaving the room and running down hallways lined with lockers. 

  


Bokuto and Kuroo were waiting in the foyer for them. The four drove down to the club, and got in soon after Oikawa whispered something influential into the female bouncer’s ear.

  


Suga pushed his way through the crowded room towards a bar lit up hanging industrial bulbs. He thought this was a club, not a hipster cafe. 

  


He rolled his eyes and sat down on a cold metal barstool with an exasperated sigh. 

  


The bartender came over to take his order, to which he replied, “whatever’s cheapest and can get me blackout drunk.”

  


Kuroo laughed next to him, after asking for a glass of ginger ale. 

  


“Don’t,” Suga warned.

  


“Kuroo chuckled, “Are the kids that exhausting?”

  


Suga shook his head, “No, nothing about work.” Sure, work was stressful, but it had never taken him to the point of exhaustion that he had to get drunk. He needed to clear his head. It wasn’t as if his head was that full, it was that his head only had one thing in it. Maybe drinking would give his brain a reset. Saturday was a fine day to have a hangover anyway.

  


“So what is it?” Kuroo prodded.

  


“I’m just confused,” he replied. Three shots of a clear liquid, presumably vodka, were placed in front of him along with the fizzy amber-coloured ginger ale in front of Kuroo. The shots were followed by a smaller glass of water to help chase down the shots.

  


With a sly smile, Kuroo pushed further, “What’s confusing? Or is it more about  _ who _ is confusing?”

  


Suga’s eyes snapped onto his with an expression that made him look like a child caught sneaking candy late at night. Kuroo understood, smirking. It didn’t help that Suga was blushing too. Suga mumbled, “I don’t really feel like telling you about it .”

  


Kuroo ignored him, “What’s she like?”

  


“He,” Suga blurted without a second thought. Didn’t Oikawa say that Kuroo had a boyfriend? Wasn’t that why he was drinking ginger ale? It made very little sense that Kuroo would assume that Suga was confused about a girl. Although, confused doesn’t necessarily mean romantically. In Suga’s case, he wasn’t sure if it was romantic or not. He hoped not, but the possibility was what was confusing him.

  


Kuroo grinned. Perhaps he was glad to have another gay guy around, or maybe he was impressed by how easily Suga had just taken the shot of vodka down. It burned his throat, but he had mentally prepared himself. He held back from any physical reactions to the pain, aside from squeezing his eyes shut as he drank and for a moment after until the burn subsided.

  


It didn’t take long for the buzz to kick in, and by then Kuroo had dropped the subject of his “mystery man.” He took down the next two shots one after another, with much more ease than the first one, as he didn’t experience as much of a burn.

  


Bokuto came over, barely tipsy from the sake he had. He cheered that he wanted his friend on the dance floor. After Kuroo politely declined, Bokuto turned to Suga who shrugged. He no longer felt the aversion to the loud base and swaying limbs that were being tossed around on the dance floor.

  


The songs were horrible, and there was little to none that Suga didn’t actively try to block out. It turned out to be very easy to block out noises when his head was spinning and all that mattered was to move away from whatever girl (or occasionally, guy) who was trying to grind on him. 

  


A buzz was felt in his pocket. Suga took a second to remember how phones worked, before bringing it out and answering without even bothering to check the caller ID. 

  


“Wassup,” he greeted casually, his voice was several octaves higher than usual. That was not a phrase Suga could ever remember using before. To be fair, Suga couldn’t remember much right now.

  


“Suga? Are you ok?” A voice panicked on the other end. Suga walked away from the crowded dance floor, allowing him some room to breathe and take the call.

  


“Daichi!” he exclaimed. He could recognize that voice even after having several shots of vodka, and Suga had always been a lightweight. “Are you coming down here? I hate it here, and I miss you.”

  


“Where’s ‘here’? Are you drunk? Is it a bar?” Daichi asked him.

  


“Woah, that’s so many questions,” Suga paused, overwhelmed. 

  


“Are you drunk, Suga?” he repeated the most pressing question.

  


Suga denied, “No, I didn’t have that much.”

  


Daichi reminded him, “You never drink. A little is enough to get you drunk.”

  


“I’m not drunk!” he whined.

  


“Yes, you are. Now, what bar are you at?” Daichi replied firmly.

  


Suga mumbled, “So firm. You’re lucky I’m into that.”

  


Daichi ignored the lewd comment, “Where?”

  


Suga hummed for a second before telling him, “The Crow Bar, which, weirdly enough, is actually a club and not a bar. It’s definitely just for the pun. It’s not even funny. Are they trying to sound like serial killers?”

  


“You’re at a club?” Daichi yelled out in shock.

  


“Get down here Daichi, I want you so bad,” Suga whined.

  


“You- you what?” Daichi sputtered.

  


“All these people are dancing, and I’ve been dragged in a few times. I never want to dance with them because the only person I want near me is you,” he grumbled. This was a genuine complaint of drunk Suga’s, but Daichi was getting more and more panicked by the second.

  


“I’ll get down there, but only to bring you home,” Daichi demanded, although his voice broke halfway through the sentence.

  


“Oh, that’s even better,” Suga groaned, “then we can have some privacy.”

  


“Stop that,” Daichi commanded. Suga heard the beep on the other end of the phone signalling that his roommate had hung up.

  


He went back over to the bar, leaving the corner he had been talking to Daichi from. 

  


He ordered a few more shots of the cheap vodka, downing them with ease. A benefit of being a lightweight was that he only felt the first shot or two go down. The following ones might as well have been water.

  


The world became more blurred. Sounds flowed together, lights faded, and it was harder and harder for Suga to tell how much time had passed. Oikawa, barely drunk, had to steady Suga as he told him that he was going home with his friend despite Suga being sat down.

  


Oikawa obviously took that to mean that Suga was about to have a drunk hook up with someone he had found at the club. Maybe Oikawa was a good person, as he tried to convince Suga that going home with their group was obviously the better option. It wasn’t until the word “roommate” was dropped that Oikawa understood what the drunk man was saying.

  


Suga didn’t even notice when Daichi showed up at the bar until Daichi’s hands came to rest on his loose shoulders. 

  


He smiled brightly and Daichi slightly smiled in response. “Let’s go home.”

  


“No!” Suga refused, “I wanna dance first.”

  


“Oh no,” Daichi worried.

  


Suga stood up carefully, “Please.”

  


“One song,” Daichi groaned, “but only if you promise to come home without complaining.”

  


Suga moved closer to Daichi and tilted his head to whisper in his ear, “by the end of the song you better have me begging to go home.”

  


Daichi looked at him in concern. Why was  _ Suga  _ of all people saying these things? “Sure,” he agreed, still not fully understanding the comment. It had made as much sense as the person it was coming from. That being, making absolutely no sense whatsoever.

  


Suga pulled him out to the dance floor. His movements were smooth and surprisingly coordinated for the lack of control the alcohol had left him. Daichi was not so comfortable. He was choppy and tense and it made Suga roll his eyes.

  


“Why are you so bad at dancing?” Suga confronted bluntly.

  


Daichi blinked at him, “you’re the drunk mess.”

  


“And somehow I’m doing better than you,” he condescended.

  


“Help me then,” Daichi requested.

  


Suga rolled his eyes again with a light laugh, “First, stop taking up so much room. The dance floor is very crowded.”

  


“What?” he choked.

  


“Here,” Suga mumbled. He took a few shaky steps towards Daichi. Suga tripped but didn’t fall. Daichi had grabbed his waist and steadied Suga. 

  


Daichi exclaimed, “Are you ok?” 

  


Suga nodded with a smile. His arms ended up draping over Daichi’s shoulders. As his arms stopped dancing, his hips did instead. 

  


Daichi’s face was filled with nothing but shock. Suga was bumping up against him with how close they were.

  


Suga’s arms moved back so that his hands rested on his partner’s shoulders before they travelled slightly downwards to press against his chest.

  


“Suga, what is happening?” Daichi mumbled with a definite flush on his face that could clearly be seen despite the terrible lighting. His hands still hadn’t left Suga’s waist.

  


“What? You don’t like me being this close?” He teased.

  


“That’s not the point,” Daichi grumbled back, “You’re drunk.”

  


Suga hummed, “that just gives me the confidence to do what I want to do when I’m sober.”

  


“What?”

  


Suga moved closer yet again. It was beautiful torture. Slowly and smoothly moving. His hips swinging around with too much grace to make sense. Daichi was trying, too, but clearly was trying to move his body away from Suga before giving in and pressing them close. Suga whispered in a low voice, “closer.”

  


Daichi didn’t listen, just bit his lip in response. His eyes revealed that he was clearly just trying to resist. 

  


Suga did it for him, filling the gap. Daichi inhaled sharply and tensed up. Maybe he was tense, but he definitely wasn’t uncomfortable. The movements of his body became slower and shorter. He didn’t need to move his hips as much when they were already anchored against another body in front of him.

  


Suga pressed forward, rolling his hips slowly and firmly. His chest was lying against Daichi’s and their faces were mere inches apart.

  


Daichi bit his lip and knitted his brow together. He looked down at Suga. They were so close, but there was a clear distance between them.

  


Suga pressed his hips forward, grinding them into Daichi.

  


“Suga,” Daichi whined.

  


Suga blinked for a second, before gaining some composure with a sly grin, “ Did you just whine my name?”

  


“No,” he denied.

  


“That was so hot,” Suga said through gritted teeth.

  


Daichi flushed an even deeper pinkish red. He gasped as Suga continued dancing against him. Suga wondered why he would ever hold back when he was sober. This just felt too comfortable.

  


“Have I left you speechless?” Suga teased. Daichi looked down, clearly his gaze was on Suga’s chest, but was that his intention? Maybe it was an accident that he ended up staring at the expanse of skin exposed by the unbuttoned collar of his shirt. 

  


“I can talk,” he choked out. 

  


Suga hummed in amusement. His fingers began to trace over Daichi’s right shoulder. The blueish light was shockingly flattering to his face. It’s a shame he probably wouldn’t remember this. 

  


“The song’s almost over,” Daichi told him.

  


“Damn, I was liking this,” Suga whispered as he leaned his head in closer to the shoulders.

  


The tight grip of his hands move away from his waist when Suga’s head rests heavily against Daichi’s shoulder. Suga whimpers in disappointment, but is satisfied again when Daichi’s hands move to the back of his head and nestle themselves in his hair. 

  


He likes the feeling of hands in his hair. Suga tilts his head back up so he can look at Daichi. His neck goes limp, causing Daichi’s hands to be the only thing supporting his head. It ultimately forces Daichi’s fingers to twist themselves tighter into silver locks.

  


Daichi stares at Suga with deep concern in his eyes. Clearly, being responsible for his drunk roommate isn’t an easy task. 

  


Suga smirked as he came to a drunken realization. The way they were standing seemed familiar, and he knew exactly why. With someone’s face this close and their hands tangled in his hair it was natural for Suga to think aloud, “This would be a really good time to kiss me.” 

  


Daichi froze and replied, “I can’t. You’re drunk.” 

  


“Then kiss me when I’m sober,” Suga pleaded. He was pouting with a face that would look childish if it weren’t for the vodka that had stirred his features into a mess. 

  


“I can’t do that either,” Daichi replied, shaking his head. It was a common feat for him to shrug off a joke by smiling down at the floor and scoffing as he shakes his head. Now though, he wasn’t smiling. Daichi was looking down at the lack of space between them without any expression.

  


Suga put one of his hands and stared at Daichi intently, “yes, you can.” He meant it, too. Regardless, it wasn’t likely that 

  


Daichi’s smile returned, but the pain didn’t leave his eyes as he looked back at him, “You really make no sense when you’ve had alcohol.”

  


Suga pursed his lips and fixated his eyes on his partner’s. “You know what I think?” He mumbled at first but his voice rose as he continued speaking, “I think I make perfect sense, but you’re too scared to admit it.”

  


“Suga, we’re going home,” Daichi bit out. He was still pained, but threads of anger stitched themselves into his current mood. It showed up in his pinched eyebrows, hardness of his words, and tensed fingers that were still entwined into soft silver hair.

  


Suga forgot what they were talking about, and moved back to teasing. “You mean where we can have some privacy?” he suggested. The hand that was in Daichi’s hair moved to skate light fingers across his collarbone covered by a dark t-shirt.

  


“Suga,” Daichi said, causing Suga’s eyes to flicker up the Daichi’s, “no.” Suga’s shoulders slumped. 

  


It made no sense to him. One second, he was reciprocating all the flirty banter, The next, he was acting distant. Then, he shuts down the one comment that fell right into their comfort zone. He regretted the vodka. He regretted going out. Suga wouldn’t feel so confused if he had just refused the offer to go out.

  


It wasn’t because of the blurry lights, or the alcohol fogging his brain.

  


It was because of Daichi.

  


He was lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put in the captains!! I’m just a little bit happy about that even if Bokuto didn’t do anything (maybe he’ll do more later, who knows?)  
> Thank you Conan Gray for making the music I listened to on repeat while writing this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I’m back. I just want to thank everyone who’s been leaving kudos/comments on this because it really does make my day. Thank you for being here and supporting this :’)

A silver-haired angel wobbled around right in front of him. 

His eyes had lost that twinkle that Daichi longed to see. Washed away by vodka. It almost hurt to know that Suga felt the need to go out and get drunk with no explanation. He hadn’t even bothered to tell Daichi that he wasn’t coming home. Daichi didn’t feel upset about the actions themselves, but instead about how uncharacteristic they were for Suga.

He sighed in relief as the song they had been dancing to faded into an end. It had been unbearable to have Suga acting the way he was for that time. It didn’t feel bad, just hard to deal with.

Temptation was stirred up by every confusing, slurred sentence that left Suga’s lips. The wild way he was throwing his arms from his sides to Daichi to the arms around them was endearingly messy. 

The reckless actions were surprising, obviously. Especially the attempted seductive ones. Outside of Daichi actually being tempted by some of them, it was kind of cute to see Suga like such a mess. Suga was usually put together, and a comfortable yet lively presence for him.

Now the mess in front of him was cute. The mess was always here, the alcohol had just brought it out.

It was cute, and it made him ache.

But why?

And why does this ache not feel bad?

Aches are supposed to feel bad. This one broke the rules.

It made him feel like smiling.

A tug on the front of Daichi’s shirt felt like a tug on his heartstrings.

He moved his hand to Suga’s shoulders to steady him. It was pretty obvious that not all of the swaying was intentional. 

“The song's over,” Daichi gently reminded him.

Suga smiled with heavy eyelids, “One more song?”

“No.”

He whined out, “We go home?”

“Yes, Suga, we go home,” Daichi confirmed.

Suga groaned like a child that had just been told that they had to leave the playground.

So goddamn adorable. It made Daichi want to melt.

“I didn’t like the bar anyways,” Suga lied with his lips pinched into a small pout.

“It’s a club,” Daichi laughed.

Suga stared back, bewildered, “When did we go to a club?”

“You don’t usually have a dance floor like this at a bar,” Daichi reminded him.

“What about the one in Australia?” Suga pointed out. Daichi did not know about the one in Australia. Suga hadn’t even been to Australia.

“I forgot about the one in Australia,” Daichi carefully wrapped his arm under Suga’s and offered him support. He wanted to go along with whatever Suga was making up.

Suga shook his head, “so forgetful, Sawamura.” The lowered voice and the pull of the ‘u’ in his name made him feel butterflies in his stomach. 

They finally walked out of the door without too much hassle. The chilly night air made Suga relax even more than he had, making him fall, and not in the optimal direction.

Suga tripped sideways, away from Daichi. Daichi instinctively reached out and grabbed for him. He hoisted Suga back up and pulled him in tighter for the rest of the walk down to where his car had been left. 

Suga snuggled against Daichi. A child. Alcohol turned Suga into a person who was not allowed alcohol. All at once, he was a baby who searched for comfort and warmth, a toddler who couldn’t walk right, a kid who just wanted to play, and of course a teenager who was horny for everything nearby. 

Was he even horny or just trying to get a reaction? It wasn’t going to work, either way Daichi just wouldn’t let him. 

He hauled the pair over to the passenger door. Daichi contemplated throwing Suga haphazardly into the seat. If it were anyone else, he might’ve, but Suga was an exception. He obviously couldn’t just toss Suga around, what if he got hurt?

He was precious, and in Daichi’s mind that made Suga fragile, breakable, delicate. He was something to be careful with, so that’s what he did. Daichi leaned into the car with Suga slung over his shoulder and placed the drowsy man in his passenger seat. 

Suga smiled up at him and mumbled something softly out of his earshot as Daichi reached to close the car door.

“What was that?” Daichi wondered.

“Thank you,” Suga mumbled again, “for taking care of me.”

Daichi smiled, “Of course.” Suga’s door closed.

He walked around the car and sat in the driver’s seat. Suga continued, “What do you mean ‘of course’?”

Daichi blinked, “I mean of course I’m gonna take care of you.”

“But why?” Suga pondered.

Daichi thought for a few seconds before answering, “Because you would do the same for me.” They started driving back home.

Suga hummed, “Probably… Still, thank you.”

“No problem,” he replied automatically.

“Why no problem?” he asked again, “is it not a problem that I ruined your night?”

Daichi laughed, “My night wasn’t ruined.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Suga leaned back in satisfaction. He looked really sweet in the warm street lights refracted by the windshield. Suga had a soft, gentle, tired smile. It was pretty, really pretty.

Even though Daichi could only glance over for a second, he was happy to see Suga there.

He was _too_ happy.

Suspiciously happy.

Daichi laughed and went along with Suga’s ramblings for the short drive home. It was much easier now that Suga wasn’t trying to get with his best friend. As they passed his school Suga’s tone changed to excitement as he realized they were almost home.

Like a happy child, he cheers fading into giggles. Arms wrap around himself into a hug. Daichi almost missed it if it were for the blaring street lights outside the school illuminating Suga. 

The night wasn’t cold, especially for the current season. November was chilly, but the snowfall from last week was gone, and the air was brisk at best. Regardless, Suga shivered and he stumbled out of the car. He gripped on the door and the roof of the car to regain his balance as Daichi rushed over to him with worry filling him up.

“Daichi, I’m fine,” Suga assured.

Daichi’s eyes were clearly still worried, “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Thank you,” Suga replied before adding with a smirk, “it’s nice to have someone under my control.”

“Please,” Daichi scoffed back, “you’re more under my control.”

Suga shook his head, “You would do whatever I told you to do.”

“What about when you asked me to keep dancing and I wouldn’t?”

“I’ve already forgotten about that,” Suga confessed. The sparkle in his eyes had returned. Clearly, Suga was still out of it, but he was better. Back to the Suga that radiates happiness.

Suga rushes inside, wobbling constantly and making Daichi stress over his roommate’s safety. Daichi reached him and grabbed Suga’s shoulders tightly.

“Be careful! You could fall at any second,” Daichi scolded.

Suga rolled his eyes, “I told you, I’m fine.” However, Suga wasn’t fighting off Daichi’s hold. That has to count for something, right?

Suga grinned and walked towards the stairs, keeping his pace slow and steady enough for Daichi to move along with him. A hand was pressed against Suga’s middle back just in case.

The smile Suga flashed at him when he turned his head to the side was filled with unbridled contentment. His mouth flipped up at one edge, and his eyes somehow remained full as they slightly squinted at Daichi. There was a look that told Daichi,  _ I’m comfortable around you, I’m happy around you, I’m glad to be here with you _ .

Suga heads toward their apartment door, and fumbles with the keys he pulled out of his pocket. Daichi allows it, even though he already had his key handy. It was on the same ring as the key that he had just used in the car, after all.

It didn’t matter. Suga was already trying to prove his independence tonight, so couldn’t Daichi at least offer him the ability to open a door. It was harmless for both of them. A win-win.

Nope. Not a win when Daichi got comfortable and deep enough in thought to drop his hand that was supporting Suga and causing his roommate to stumble backwards slightly.

“Hey, I thought you were holding me up,” Suga protested.

“You were the one who said you were fine,” Daichi reasoned.

Suga pouted and unlocked the door, “You’re twisting my words.”

“I quoted you exactly.”

“That’s totally unfair.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’ll forgive you if you come back,” Suga negotiated as he plopped down on the couch.

“You’re sitting down,” Daichi raised both eyebrows in a questioning manner, “You don’t need me.”

Suga smiled, “just because I don’t  _ need _ you doesn’t mean I don’t  _ want  _ you. Now c’mere.”

Daichi liked that response. He went over to the couch where Suga was lying against the armrest. “That has got to be uncomfortable.”

“No way, it’s fine,” Suga assured him, although he promptly sat upright. Clearly, he had been bluffing, not that it really mattered.

“Are you gonna go to bed now?” Daichi wondered. Daichi’s shift started soon, and if Suga was asleep, he didn’t need to worry.

Suga was not having it, “I’m perfectly fine to stay awake longer.”

“You sure about that?” Daichi questioned. Suga had been acting like he could fall unconscious at any second.

Based on the sloppy pronunciation of his words, he probably would. “I’m so awake right now!”

“Suga, you should go to bed.”

“I don’t wanna!”

“Please?”

“Nope. Nuh-uh.”

“Why not?”

“I wanna dance!” Suga exclaimed. His smile looked carefree and genuine.

Daichi sighed, “Again?”

“Yeah! It’ll be fun, I promise,” Suga cheered.

“Fine. What song?”

Suga pulled out his phone, “Oh I like this one.” A tune started ringing out, quickly loudening as Suga turned the volume up.

“Great. What’s it called?”

“Amour Plastic, but the French version of that word. Like... plasticky,” Suga rambled.

“Plastique?” Daichi suggested

“Yeah!” he called out, “Amour Plastique.”

“Never heard it,” Daichi told him.

Suga ignored him and got up to dance. He twirled around and pulled Daichi up with him. It was fun to dance as they were more than an arm’s length apart.

Suga muttered nonsense that sounded vaguely like the French words eloquently being sung out by the woman in the song. 

“I don’t think that’s the lyrics,” Daichi laughed.

Suga shrugged, “At least I’m having fun.” His hands formed into points, and he swung around his arms and spun in loose circles.

“And I’m tired,” Daichi whined. He actually was having fun, regardless of his lack of freedom. Suga could obviously look much happier when put beside someone with any regard for their sanity.

“Baby...” Suga scoffed as he flipped around in the break from lyrics. 

An attempted pirouette ends with Suga falling against Daichi, who quickly responded by wrapping his arms around the silver-headed man.

Suga giggled, Daichi blushed. What was with that smile?

“What are the lyrics saying?” Daichi wondered aloud.

Suga hummed through a part he didn’t know, then piped up when he understood the lyrics. 

His gaze fixed firmly on Daichi and his smile fell into a firm, serious look.

Daichi looked back at him, stunned by the reaction his heart had just had from eye contact.

“I lose myself in your eyes, I drown myself in the vagueness of your loving gaze,” he recited as the corresponding lyrics passed.

Daichi flushed warm red. Those were some really nice lyrics. They were ones that elicited a reaction. 

Maybe it was pure coincidence that Suga locked his eyes so intensely on his gaze. He had to have been overthinking it. Suga wasn’t even in the right mindset to be aware of the way he was looking at him, and how it looked like he could see Daichi’s soul. 

Hopefully not, as Daichi’s soul was only feeling want. He wanted to take Suga up on the offer from earlier to kiss him. It made his stomach feel light and airy.

Even if the offer still stood now, it would be gone by the time Suga regained sobriety. Daichi wasn’t going to force him into making a drunken mistake that they would both regret.

Suga may be drunk, but even he could pick up on the obvious social clue that was Daichi choking and blushing. Though, he couldn’t decipher it, as he worried, “Is there something wrong with the song?”

“No,” Daichi inhaled several times, calming himself, “I like it.”

“Good,” Suga smiled, dropping all concerns. He broke into another big smile again before shifting into a dance.

Daichi danced too. The pair held each other’s hands as Suga pulled him into different moves and spins. They both ended up stumbling a lot. In Daichi’s defence, it was hard to keep up with Suga, and he was stronger than he looked.

_ He’s so beautiful. I’m so lucky to have him, but I still feel like having more would be better.  _ More… he pondered the thought. Could they even get closer? They spent the majority of their free time together, they were best friends, they even lived together. 

More than friends. That’s what he wanted.

Oh.

_ Oh. _

It actually explained a lot. Especially why he was about to be late for work if he didn’t shut this down soon. Suga was too distracting for him.

He didn’t mean for this to happen.

The boy spinning around in front of him was supposed to be a completely platonic companion. Suga wanted to keep it that way, right? The only advances he had ever made were tonight. Even that was only because he was so far away from his usual self.

His usual self. Is that who Daichi wanted more than a friend? Or was it this carefree, drunk version who might as well be a different person?

They weren’t that different. This was just a loosened-up Suga who spouted off random nonsense. In other words, nothing that crazy. 

Wow, he really was in love with his best friend. A terrible problem to have. 

Suga was extremely important to Daichi, and he didn’t feel like jeopardizing what they already had in exchange for a greedy sliver of hope.

For now, this little could-be crush will wait to be tested tomorrow. Suga was too different to accurately judge if the infatuation was going to be permanent. Maybe it had just taken a weird night to realize.

For all Daichi knows, he liked the vulnerable, drunk, Suga. This realization did happen to come

So what? Daichi knows him when he’s sober. That’s who he’s fallen for, not this alcohol-infused version.

Suga complains as the music comes to a close, “The song got shorter somehow!”

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Daichi replies.

“ _ Je suis _ liked the song.”

“Do you understand that you just said ‘ _ I am _ liked the song’?” Daichi questioned, laughing.

Suga lied, “Of course I knew that!”

“Then why’d you say it?”

“I didn’t realize  _ you _ understood it, Mr. French-Genius,” Suga mocked. His arms crossed in front of his chest. Not for a second did Daichi let his eyes linger on lips pulled into the satisfied smirk of his friend.

Daichi rolled his eyes, “Don’t you need to go to bed?”

“Don’t you need to stop pestering me, Dad-chi?”

“Dad-chi? And I’m not pestering,” he professed.

“Yep. That’s your new name now.”

Daichi lifted an eyebrow, “You’re gonna remember my ‘new name’ by tomorrow?”

“Well, probably not,” Suga confessed.

“Hey! You were trying to change the subject,” he called out. It wasn’t rare that a suspect would use that method to divert the attention away from the topic at hand in an interrogation.

“Was not,” Suga whined back.

“Were, too. Go to bed!”

“I don’t want to.”

Daichi walked through to Suga’s room without a word.

It was a simple trick, but it worked like a charm. As expected, Suga followed Daichi. He even sat down on his bed, his face with an expression like that of a confused puppy.

Suga blinked at Daichi, expecting an explanation. An explanation which Daichi did not give him.

Instead, he went over to the dresser Suga kept his clothes in. Suga’s confused look followed him. Daichi opened the drawers until he found a category of clothing suitable to sleep in.

An old tank top and a familiar pair of sweatpants are pulled out of the drawers. The tank gets thrown at Suga’s face, who promptly pulls it off where it landed on his head and balls it up in his lap with a scowl. He hesitates before repeating the action with the sweatpants.

“Why were these in your drawers?” Daichi asked.

Suga tilted his head to the side, “What do you mean? They’re my sweatpants.”

“They aren’t clean.”

“How would you know?” 

“These are the ones I took yesterday,” Daichi reminded.

“Oh.”

“Why did you put them back?”

“I…” Suga pinched his eyes into a thoughtful quint, “can’t remember?”

Daichi dropped the questions, finally throwing the sweatpants over, “Put them on, still. I guess I only wore them for about twenty minutes before you took them back, anyway.”

The sweatpants hit Suga’s face hard, causing him to flinch backwards, “If only you were in the pants when they flew at my face.”

“What?” Oh no, horny Suga was back. Now, Daichi knew why it was so difficult to deal with this side of him. 

“You heard me.”

Daichi stormed over to the bedside where Suga sat, “That’s the problem.”

“Really, it’s a problem now?”

“What do you mean ‘now’? It was never NOT a problem to act like that.”

“Act like what?” Suga teased. He leaned back on the bed, a flicker of playfulness in his brown eyes.

Daichi scoffed, “Don’t pretend like you aren’t being different right now.”

“Maybe different, but who says I’m acting?” Suga pointed out.

“If you aren’t acting right now, then you’re acting every other time. That would kinda suck since I thought you were honest around me.”

“Fair point.”

“Now get changed!”

“Fine!” Suga groaned like an angsty teenager.

Crisis diverted.

Daichi went to his own room and put out his uniform to change into after making sure Suga was asleep. After returning to the shared space of the living room, he found Suga sitting on the couch wearing sweatpants.

_ Just _ the sweatpants. There was no shirt, just the bare chest of a silver-haired devil sitting in his apartment.

Daichi’s mouth went dry.

He would be lying if he said his eyes didn’t linger a bit too long where they shouldn’t have.

“Put. A. Shirt. On.” Daichi demanded.

“Aw, does it bother you if I don’t wear a shirt?” Suga retorted. Clearly a flirty joke, but not one he was going to acknowledge.

He snapped, “Yes.”

“You know the way I meant that, right?” Suga asked with a sudden change of tone.

“Put a shirt on,” he repeated.

“Don’t wanna.”

“Why not?” 

Suga shrugged, “I’m in my apartment. I can do what I want.”

“That’s not how it works when you have a roommate!” Daichi protested.

Suga rolled his eyes, “You can just ignore it.”

“Do I just not matter?”

“I’m not putting on a shirt just to take it off again when you leave in a minute,” he reasoned.

Daichi sighed and turned away. Suga took this to mean he won, but Daichi was too stubborn for that. They both were too stubborn to lose.

The tank top was still sitting on Suga’s bed in an easily visible spot. Daichi grabbed it and went back to throw it at his roommate for a second time.

Suga shrieked. He picked up the ball of fabric and easily identified it as the shirt he refused to wear.

“Why?” Suga interrogated.

“It’s called having decency,” Daichi told him.

Suga huffed, “What? You don’t think I look decent without a shirt.”

“No, I-” he was cut off.

“So you  _ do _ think I look decent without a shirt.”

“Not that either,” Daichi denied. Suga was not figuring him out tonight.

“Pick one. Do I or do I not look decent without a shirt?” Suga pestered.

“Just put it on!”

“I don’t wanna.”

“That’s just too bad.”

Suga bit out, “make me.” 

“Maybe I will, but there's no way you would win,” Daichi laughed.

Suga pouted, “I would totally win.”

“You know that I’m trained to hold people down, right?”

“Prove it.”

“Prove what?”

“That you would win.”

“I’m not gonna fight you,” Daichi laughed.

“Pussy,” Suga mocked.

“Sugawara Koushi,” Daichi started, “did you just call me a pussy?”

“Yes.”

“I am not!”

“You don’t need to be so defensive,” Suga promised. He paused for a second before adding, “you kind of are, though.”

“But I’m a cop! I’m not a pussy if I'm that brave every night,”

“Fight me then.”

“Maybe I will.”

With that, Suga lunged forward, shirt in hand and rushed away from Daichi.

Daichi reached Suga almost immediately. His arms wrapped around Suga’s waist, and he yanked him back.

Suga cackles loudly as Daichi hoists him into the air. His hands grip onto Daichi’s arm around his waist. Suga’s legs kick wildly around in the air in a feeble attempt to be freed.

Daichi tosses him onto the couch. Suga’s gasp was followed by another round of hysterics as he bounced lightly off of the couch cushions. The shirt that was in his hands ends up on the floor next to them.

He pushes upwards off of the couch and tries to spin away. Daichi loosely grabs his wrists so he can’t escape. Suga’s arms are left with enough mobility to move his hands to push Daichi backwards onto the middle of the couch cushions. His reflexes make his arms stiffen into their position, and their grip on Suga causes him to be pulled down with him.

Suga lands sitting on his lap, only a few inches away from this whole night ending very, very badly.

Suga smirks at him stupidly and chuckles a little bit. 

Daichi spins both of them and forces Suga backwards until he’s lying on the couch. Suga’s wrists are held tightly as they are thrust up to be pushed into the couch next to Suga’s head on either side.

Suga’s lower body tries to escape, but Daichi traps one of his knees between his own legs before he has a chance to leave.

He reminds himself this is fine. Suga is still laughing and smiling, and he had repeatedly told Daichi to fight him. Plus, he’s not hurting him, so this is just a playful game.

Suga is pinned underneath him, face full of shock. Surely, he hadn’t expected to win? Maybe it was just shock that he was being pinned down by his best friend.

He looks good flustered with an indignant little pout on his pink lips. The blush creeps down to Suga’s chest that he needs to cover up soon if he’s supposed to have any form of self control.

Oh god, he’s so hot.

Then it happens, Daichi breaks. Why? The way Suga just whimpered makes him feel something deep inside him. 

Something that says he has to belong to him.

He couldn’t do that, it wouldn’t be right. Suga’s in a very vulnerable state. Daichi needs composure. Why was Suga under him? What was his goal?

Right, to deal with the issue of the shirtless man.

Daichi releases one of Suga’s wrists and reaches for the shirt on the floor. Suga’s free hand, not knowing what to do, pushes him off of the couch. That is, until Daichi realizes that Suga’s trying to be free.

Using the fist with a balled-up tank top, a laughing Suga is pushed back onto the couch.

Daichi manages to pull the shirt over Suga’s head and arms as he thrashes around.

After that, he stops moving.

He breathes heavily, and Daichi gulps. He carefully pulls the fabric over Suga’s chest. His sad attempts not to touch him failed, and Daichi’s fingers ended up scraping over smooth, warm skin.

Suga whispers, “You’re such a baby.”

Daichi sits up, “and you just lost to me.”

Suga refuses to look into Daichi’s eyes, and his cheeks are still on fire.

He hadn’t pushed it too far, had he? Maybe Daichi shouldn’t have taken the laughing as a reason to continue. 

Suga had caused this himself by daring Daichi to fight him. Still, Daichi was kind of missing Suga shirtless.

That’s not true.

The cute blushing face he was making was so much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want y’all to know that writing Daichi as a cop is really goddamn difficult when I’m a person who pukes every time I hear the word “police” or “cop” or something else like that.  
> I don’t know much about the police force in Japan when it comes to corruption and all that like I do with the USA or Canada. In this alternate universe, cops are all good guys who don’t profile and do their jobs without hurting innocent people. Meaning Daichi is a good guy who chose a noble career.  
> That was quite a bit of rambling, but thank you for bearing with me and I really hope y’all liked the chapter. (if you wanna leave a comment, really anything would be soooo amazing)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lol Suga has a hangover lol cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I mentally stable? no  
> I've had 4 panic attacks in one day and the only thing saving me from going into a depression is anime no matter how stupid that sounds.  
> Somehow I've managed to pull a chapter out of my ass on time this week despite the mental breakdown(s).   
> There is no editing, don't mind my mistakes and just be happy there's a chapter at all.

Hard calluses on fingers, soft movements. Someone dragged their fingers across Suga’s forehead.

A piercing pain through his head. The pillow beneath Suga was the only thing holding his head in place, or else it would feel like he were spinning around.

He didn’t want to open his eyes and startle the person next to them, probably Daichi, and make him feel awkward. 

Suga pretended to stir, making a small “mphm.” Then he turned his head to the side and involuntarily screwed his sleepy face up when the movement caused a stabbing pain through his skull.

Daichi immediately noticed, and the hands left.

Pressure felt like it was building up in his brain until his head would eventually crack open.

Now that his hand was gone, Suga cracked his eyes open.

Daichi was sitting on the edge of Suga’s bed next to him, turned to look at Suga.

“Morning,” Daichi said. It sounded like a yell to Suga.

His hands flinched up to cover his delicate ears, “too loud.”

“Hung over?” he guessed in a whisper. How much did he have last night? And did Daichi know?

“Yup,” Suga confirmed. 

“You were absolutely wasted last night,” Daichi whispered. He knew. How much was Daichi there for? From the part of the night that he had fuzzy memories of, he remembered talking on the phone to Daichi for a minute.

He remembered saying something bad, really bad. Poor Daichi for having to deal with that. This is why Suga didn’t drink.

_ “You’re lucky I’m into that.”  _ he remembered. Oh no,  _ “I want you so bad.” _

Goddamn it, past Suga.

He had gone back for more after that call, too. If the pounding in his head was any indication of how much he had drank, the answer was a lot.

What if he had said something worse? What if he had  _ done _ something worse?

“I’m sorry,” Suga blurted out with no explanation.

Daichi shrugged, “for what?”

“Oh god, how many bad things did I do?” Suga worried.

“Don’t get the wrong idea. I just meant you don’t need to apologize for anything you did,” Daichi assured him. His wording made Suga believe something had happened. Although, he was comforted by Daichi’s politeness about whatever it was.

Suga sighed in relief, “thanks.”

Wait. What? Why was Daichi being so understanding when he could probably hold so many embarrassing things against him? It was different. Suga must’ve done something really weird to Daichi last night. If only he could remember what.

“Agh, my head hurts,” Suga complained.

The expected response, ‘I bet it does,’ didn’t come. Daichi instead sympathetically hummed in a quiet voice, “I’m sorry, can I get something for you?”

That was weird. “Yeah, an aspirin,” Suga requested.

Daichi nodded without any more painful words. Not that Daichi’s words were that painful, as he was talking in such a quiet voice. The quiet words still hurt to ring through his ears, Suga was just so out of it that his head hurt when he himself spoke.

His roommate left for the bathroom, and Suga heard the door to the medicine cabinet open through the hallway. Judging by the noises that he was currently very sensitive to, the pills had been taken out already and the cabinet closed. Why was Daichi taking so long to get back?

Suga waited for a short moment before deciding to find Daichi and his much needed medication. He saw Daichi standing in front of the open freezer in the kitchen.

He walks over quietly, which Daichi didn’t notice. He flinched slightly when Suga popped up behind him.

“Did I scare you?” Suga laughed softly.

“No!” Daichi lied.

Suga winced, “where did you find the megaphone?”

“Was I too loud again?” Daichi whispered.

Suga nodded. Daichi looked at him with concern. How confusing. Why be concerned? Nothing happened.

Well, nothing that Suga could remember. Although, he was pretty sure something must have happened for Daichi to be so cautious. He may be careful because of the hangover, but Suga feels like it was weird that he wasn’t being playfully mocked right now.

“Why are you out of your room?” Daichi questioned.

Suga replied, “I wanted to know where you went.”

Daichi cocked his head to the side, “I was getting you an ice pack.”

“I know that now,” Suga shrugged, “but you didn’t mention it at first.”

“Oh, well you can go now that you get it,” Daichi spoke out in the quiet voice he kept flipping back to once he noticed that his voice was rising back to his default. Daichi wanted him to leave

Suga tensed, “you really hate me that much, huh?”

“No, that’s not how I meant it!” Daichi blurted in a louder voice. Suga hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” Suga mumbled.

“Suga, it’s okay,” Daichi whispered. He put his hand on Suga’s shoulder and smiled softly.

Everything was soft this morning. His words, his smile, his eyes, and his touch were all soft.

Suga melted. His heart skipped a beat when his eyes made contact with Daichi’s.

_ Fuck, he’s beautiful.  _

“I’ll just go back to my room after I take this,” Suga told him as he took a glass to the sink.

Daichi mulled over different things he could say in his head before responding with an insignificant, “ok,” as the tap turned off.

Suga swallowed the aspirin and reached for the ice pack Daichi had grabbed out for him. He smiled weakly before turning away after a small, “thank you.”

He paced across the living room to return to his room like how he had been requested to. 

The bed sunk in as he sat back down. His crossed arms may have been from his frustration with his past self, but it also felt kind of like a comforting hug.

Suga thought drinking was a mistake. There was a reason he’d never agreed to go with Oikawa before, and the same reason was why he never really drank at all.

What did Suga do wrong? He couldn’t remember.

He didn’t want to either. Suga pulled his knees up to his chest and groaned. His head hurt, and he was pretty sure that thinking so much was just aggravating the pain.

Had he said something rude about Daichi? Surely not, Suga tended to become honest, and his honest opinion of Daichi was positive.

What if the opposite was true. Suga had said something really inappropriate, and Diachi didn’t want to be around him so much after that. It made sense.

The only part of that possibility that doesn’t make as much sense is how Daichi feels uncomfortable. Suga should be the one who was uncomfortable, not him.

Unless something happened that would’ve been embarrassing for Daichi, too.

He remembered something blurry, something fuzzy. It only lasted for a half second, a split-second shot of the actions he went through last night.

The night before, he had been standing - _ dancing _ \- way too close to Daichi. Daichi was worried in his memories, or at least that was how he looked. 

Had he kissed Daichi? Suga couldn’t remember.

That had to be it, but it totally would suck if he had. Not to say that kissing Daichi was a bad thing, but if it made their friendship worsen it couldn’t be good. Additionally, it would be a pretty big waste to forget something like that.

Later in the night when they had got back home, Suga could remember himself dancing to a song. Either he was too messed up to remember the lyrics, or it had been one of the songs in other languages that he listens to. 

Daichi was smiling. Daichi was happy. He was looking at Suga as though he were the most important thing in the world, like he was beautiful, and like he couldn’t be more glad to be there with that mess.

Why was he pushing him away now, then?

Was that scene later in the evening? It had to have been. Suga had made Daichi go to the club, right? They probably went home together, and that’s when he would’ve seen Daichi smile at him like that.

Daichi’s voice shocks him, “Suga?”

He flips his head up, “yeah?” 

“I brought you a kind of hangover cure,” Daichi tells him.

Suga smiles, “good, I really need one. He looks at Daichi’s hand holding a bowl of what appears to be soup.

“It’s not really a hangover cure, but it’s always helped me for some weird reason,” Daichi says as he brings over the bowl. He sits down on the edge of Suga's bed.

Suga looks at the ‘cure’ in front of him and asks, “Is it literally just soup?”

“Well… yes.”

“Daichi!”

“You know how a bloody Mary was originally supposed to be a hangover cure?”

“I didn’t actually.”

“Oh. Well, I did, and I don't like bloody Marys. Plus, I think it’s weird to counteract an alcohol headache with more alcohol,” Daichi explains, “but then I decided to try tomato soup for some stupid reason.”

“Because it had tomatoes, too?” Suga guesses.

“Yes!” Daichi affirms, “you know me so well. Anyway, the soup works for me despite it being a really odd thing.”

“Maybe it’ll work for me too. I’d try anything ‘odd’ to get rid of this pounding in my head,” he complained.

“Well it’s better than this other guy I knew in college. He would drink raw eggs to deal with it.”

“No way! I am not trying that no matter how desperate I get.”

“So tomato soup seems good now?”

“Definitely,” Suga paused, “so how bad was I last night.”

Daichi froze, “you don’t remember.”

He shrugged, “nope, blackout drunk.”

“You were really drunk,” Daichi told him vaguely.

Suga raised his eyebrows and looked for more of the story, “did I do anything weird?”

Daichi smiled, “Of course you did, you were so messed up

Suga mindlessly stirred the soup without looking up, “like what?”

There was a pause, “huh?”

“What did I do?” Suga clarified.

“I… uh,” Daichi muttered.

“I’m sorry, I just wanna know.”

“It’s fine.”

“Ok. so…”

Daichi cleared his throat and muttered out, “you really liked dancing.” 

“Dancing?” Suga asked. He saw Daichi nodding out of the corner of his eyes. Suga decided that it was probably a good idea to look at who he was talking to if Daichi was going to be sending visual social cues.

This was a beautiful mistake, one that made his head even dizzier than before. The moment he looked up, Daichi caught his eyes and smiled at him. It was the same fond smile he could remember seeing last night.

It was a very pretty smile, but Suga couldn’t possibly like something that made his heart feel like it was going to pound out of his chest.

His natural response was to blush, and his quickening heart rate was a sign that all the blood his body could pump was going to be rushing to his head. This both made Suga more embarrassed and his headache worse.

“Suga!” Daichi worried, “your face is going red, do you have a fever?”

Suga wanted to die, “I’m fine.” Daichi didn’t hear that until after he had moved to put his hand to Suga’s forehead.

If his head didn’t feel like it was about to implode, this may have been a nice, soft, caring moment. A moment between friends, of course. 

Although Suga couldn’t remember any of his friends ever causing him to feel like he may have a heart attack.

The contact of Daichi’s hand on his forehead was minimal, but enough to make Suga flustered. 

Daichi backed away and hummed in confusion, “I’m pretty sure that’s not a fever.”

Suga cleared his throat, wanting to change the subject, “I still don’t really know what happened when I was drunk.”

Suga may not be flustered anymore, but Daichi certainly was, “It.. it doesn’t matter, you weren’t in a good headspace.”

“It’s great that you’ve forgiven me, but I don’t even know what I did,” Suga mentioned.

“I should just forget it, too.”

“Daichi, no.”

“Too late, I have no idea what you were referring to.”

“Aw, I wanted to know.”

Daichi scoffed, “Why? It was embarrassing.”

Suga was just more confused. Why was it so confusing? What did he do? Why was Daichi tiptoeing around the subject? Why did he kind of want it to be true that Suga had kissed him, even though that wasn’t even a realistic possibility.

Why did he want that fond smile for himself, no one else?

Suga wanted  _ him _ all for himself. 

Not that he could ever have it, though.

He already had a part of Daichi that one else did as his roommate, so he didn’t want to be greedy by asking for more.

Daichi saw Suga’s frown and his lack of response. 

“I have to go make breakfast for myself,” Daichi excused as he stood up. He turned back to smile at Suga before leaving through the doorway. 

Suga winced. That’s why the smile drove him crazy. 

He ate the soup while failing to let his mind drift off to the memories of Daichi he did have.

When they had first moved in together

-

_ Suga was graduating university soon, given that he would pass his last set of exams next week. Though he would be happy to leave the cramped dorm room he had lived in for the past four years, he did have an issue of being able to pay for an apartment with the salary of a substitute teacher. At least he had a guaranteed job once he got out into the world. Other students he knew didn’t have such a luxury. _

_ How perfect was it that he had just found a flyer tacked up in his favourite coffee shop looking for a roommate. _

_ Suga pulled one of the tabs off of the bottom of the and stuffed it in his pocket before he went up to order. _

_ He sat down in the back corner of the cafe and hesitated before he pulled out his study materials. Instead, Suga reached into his pocket for the tab of paper with a previously unknown number on it. _

_ Suga wanted to call it. Maybe they would choose a roommate before he called. He needed to secure his spot. _

_ He pulled out his cell and punched in the numbers. He took a deep breath and pressed the call button. _

_ Coincidentally, a phone of someone else in the coffee shop started to ring at the same time. Suga looked in the direction of the sound to see the owner of the phone looking directly at him. _

_ The man looked about the same age as Suga, although that wasn’t anything special for a coffee shop this close to a university campus. He was staring intently at Suga as he lifted the phone up to accept and bring it to his ear. _

_ He smiled teasingly as he said, “Hello, this is Sawamura Daichi.” _

_ The person Suga was talking to was definitely the stranger. Even with the slight audio delay, it was clear that the sound coming from his phone was matching up with the movements of the stranger’s lips. _

_ He was actually really attractive. His hair was short enough that he didn’t need to use any gel, making it look really soft and like he could tangle his fingers in it easily. Oh god, was Suga objectifying people again?  _

_ “Hi,” Suga finally choked out, “I’m Sugawara Koushi, and you’re… sitting right there.” _

_ “Yup,” Sawamura laughed back, “wanna come over here?” _

_ “I- sure,” he replied, still in shock. Suga blinked a few times and grabbed his bag from the unused seat next to him. _

_ It was convenient that he hadn’t unpacked, and even more convenient that the person he wanted to talk to had been in the cafe. _

_ “Hello, Sawamura-san,” he greeted as the other pulled out the chair next to him, as opposed to the chair across the table that Suga had originally planned on taking. _

_ “You can drop the -san, for now,” he told him. _

_ Suga nodded, “Thanks.” _

_ “You’re looking for an apartment?” Sawamura assumed. _

_ “Yep, I’m just about to graduate so I can’t live off the dorms anymore.” _

_ “Same here. What’s your major?” _

_ “Education, I wanna be a teacher. And you?” _

_ “Criminology, I’m gonna be a detective one day.” _

_ “That’s cool. And you’re graduating this year, too?” _

_ “Yup!” Sawamura confirms, “So that’s why I need a roommate.” _

_ “I doubt that I’d be able to afford an apartment by myself either,” Suga thinks aloud. _

_ “Well, I’ve still gotta go through the police academy after that, so don’t I’m gonna have to pay for my life off of minimum wage,” he explains. _

_ Suga assured him, “I’m only a substitute teacher for now, and not until after the break. I’m not much better.” _

_ Suga doesn’t remember much of the conversation, but it ended up being two hours before they stopped talking. That was only because the cafe was closing soon. _

_ “Is it ok if I save your number in my phone?” Daichi asks when the two walked outside. _

_ Suga joked, “only if you let me live with you.” _

_ “Sure. Wanna come looking for apartments with me this weekend?” _

_ “Sawamura, are you kidding?” _

_ “Call me Daichi, and no I’m not.” _

_ “Then yeah. I can live with you?” _

_ “Of course, I’m not gonna talk to someone for two hours without any intention of talking to them again.” _

_ “I have a place to live!” _

_ Daichi laughs, “not until you find one with me.” _

_ “Um... I don’t know what to say. Thank you? You can call me Suga by the way, it’s what my friends call me.” _

_ “Suga. I’ll call you later.” _

_ And Daichi did. _

_ They moved in together two weeks later.  _

-

Two and half years after that, they were still together.

They both had already advanced far enough in their careers to have a steady paycheck. One of them could leave at any time, but they both opt to continue living with each other.

Suga hopes that they keep this. He wouldn’t wanna live any other way.

What would happen if one of them got into a serious relationship and wanted to leave? Last he checked, Daichi didn’t have a girlfriend. Actually, he had been single ever since they met.

To be fair, it wasn’t like Suga had been in a relationship either. He was never interested in anyone. Plus, he was more focused on work and his platonic relationships.

It was time to ask the question he hadn’t even considered since when they had first met. Daichi’s sexuality. Just out of curiousity as Daichi’s friend, of course. Suga didn’t think he had a chance.

He leaves his bedroom and goes over to the kitchen where Daichi was making his breakfast.

“Hey Suga,” Daichi chimed. 

Suga doesn't bother with niceties, “Daichi, are you gay?’

He laughed, “What gave it away?”

“So you are,” Suga confirmed.

“Well, I don’t know if I’d say I was ‘gay.’ I’d date anyone,” Daichi explained.

He nods, “Ok.”

“So… What about you?”

“I- uh, I’m gay.”

“Alright.”

“Mhm,” Suga nods. This is awkward.

“That’s kind of a funny coincidence,” Daichi finally brought up.

“What is?” Suga asked.

Daichi explained, “Well, most people are straight so I guess it’s kind of weird that… both of us...”

“Aren’t?” Suga finished.

“Yeah. And then we ended up living together,” he added.

Suga nods, “Yup. Funny.”

“Uh huh.”

The two awkwardly stare at each other. Suga’s eyes are full of questions, but Daichi’s are just blank and panicking.

Was it getting uncomfortably warm or was Suga just struggling to stay composed?

Daichi pulls his phone out of his pocket at the sound of buzzing. Suga felt relieved. 

“Sawamura here.” he said after he pulled the phone up to his ears. Suga didn’t really notice when it had happened, but at one point over the last years he had switched his characteristic greeting.

Daichi’s mouth drops open in shock, and Suga waits patiently despite his curiousity.

The rest of the conversation“Yea I can. Ok. Ok. Thank you. Yes. Alright, have a nice day. I will. Good bye.” Daichi’s hand drops away from his ear, and he stares at the phone in it for a moment before turning to look at Suga.

Daichi is unable to come up with words.

“Who was it?” Suga guided, trying to get Daichi to explain.

Daichi finally responded, “my boss.”

Suga smiled and asked, “what did he tell you.”

“I’m not going into work tonight,” he answered vaguely.

“Oh?” Suga pushed, wanting a story.

He didn’t get a story. Instead, he got a question, “Do you wanna get dinner tonight?”

Suga blinks, “yeah, of course.” He doesn’t know he was able to force a response out loud when his mind felt like screaming in excitement and confusion and pain. Not because of the hangover, but because Daichi had just casually asked him to get dinner after they had both revealed that they were into men.

Dinner between friends sounded nice. A date between more than friends sounded nicer. Too bad that Suga didn’t know which he was getting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look... i dont even know what daichi's intentions were asking suga to get dinner or what the call from work was, ok?   
> i'll figure it out before next sunday.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> accidental date that wasn't really a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my father, who in the last week has defended fanfiction and suggested that we fly to Japan for the weekend just to get sushi before promptly mispronouncing every Japanese word I tried to teach him.  
> I cannot keep consistent between past tense and present tense, don’t mind me.

Suga looked dumbfounded as he told Daichi, “yeah, of course” to getting dinner with him.

Daichi smiled, “I’m on the day shift.”

Suga’s mouth dropped open in the excitement, “Daichi, that’s awesome! You can finally have a normal sleep schedule. I’m so happy for you.”

“It comes with a raise, so we’re going somewhere fancy tonight,” he promised.

“Are we going to a ‘no jeans’ type of fancy place?” Suga wondered.

“Fancier.”

“How fancy can a place get?”

“Somewhere ‘Black tie:  _ not optional’ _ fancy.”

His eyes widened, “how much are they paying you?”

“Don’t be so surprised, I’m putting my life on the line to protect our citizens,” Daichi bragged.

Suga rolled his eyes as he muttered, “And I’m putting my sanity on the line to raise the next generation.”

Daichi laughed, “yes, you’re giving an amazing sacrifice for those crazy kids.”

“They’ve scarred me, Daichi,” Suga bemoaned.

“I don’t doubt it,” Daichi paused, “do you actually know of any fancy restaurants?”

Suga’s face scrunches up like it always does when he thinks hard about something, “no.” Damn it, he was really cute.

“Makes sense, actually.”

“So, you don’t either?”

“Nope,” Daichi shrugs, “we usually spend evenings together, you can’t be surprised.”

Suga nods in agreement, “right, and even when we don’t make our own dinner...”

“A.k.a most nights,” Daichi interjects.

“...We usually have cheap takeout of some sort and eat here,” Suga finishes.

“I guess so. Are you sure we haven’t ever gone out somewhere fancy since we moved in?”

“I don’t think so, not together at least.”

“You went somewhere fancy without me?”

“I think Kuroo-san may have taken some of the teachers out one time. Don’t act like you haven’t ever been somewhere without me. After all, it’s been more than two years.”

Daichi frowns ever so slightly, “I really don’t think I have.”

Suga looks surprised, “Wait, really?”

“I guess not,” he replies.

His cell phone rings again. Before, it was a welcome distraction from an unbearably awkward conversation. Now, it was just bothersome if it meant stopping an easily flowing conversation. 

“Sawamura here,” he recites flawlessly. His annoyance doesn’t show through, as that line was something he said every time he answered the phone without much emotion needed to be added to it.

Daichi’s coworker, Tanaka, had called to congratulate him for finally joining him and Noya on the day shift.

Daichi says, “thank you, what’s up?”

Tanaka offers “would you like to celebrate with Noya and I tonight?”

He declines, “I’m already celebrating with Suga.”

Suga perks up at the sound of his name. Daichi swears that he sees the antennae coming from Suga’s unkempt cowlick extend in curiousity.

“Who’s Suga again?” Tanaka asks

“My roommate,” Daichi told him.

A silence passed before Tanaka said, “oh, that one?”

“What?”

“Nothing,” he assured, which was clearly a lie.

Daichi moved on, “Yea, I’ll be with him instead. Sorry, guys.”

“Could we join you guys? What are you planning on doing?”

“Just dinner, I don’t know where though yet.” Daichi flashed a smile over at Suga as he explained.

Noya can be heard in the background, “Are you paying?”

“No way, Noya!” Tanaka yells back, “I can pay if you want. It’s your win so it shouldn’t be you taking the bill.”

“I…” Daichi starts. He can’t finish the sentence without sounding rude.

“You don’t want us coming?” Tanaka guesses.

“Sorry, but yes.”

He almost heard the nonchalant shrug through the phone, “It’s no biggie, as long as you bring me coffee tomorrow.”

He agreed, “Deal.”

“So is anyone else going with you guys?” Tanaka questions.

“Nope, why?”

“Oh so you two are gonna be alone?” he teased. Noya could be heard laughing in the background

Daichi got defensive at that, “Yeah, and?”

Tanaka burst out laughing, “Nothing!”

“Stop being such an idiot,”

“Sorry, Daichi.”

Noya didn’t understand that the command applied to him, a small far-off call yelled out, “find out if he has an authority kink or something.”

Daichi grumbles “I'm killing Noya on Monday.”

“No, wait!” Noya protests.

“Good bye.”

He angrily hung up and rolled his eyes, at which Suga giggled, “what was that about?”

“Not much, Tanaka just wanted to take me out to celebrate with him and Noya.”

“And you said no?”

“Well, yes. They wanted me to go tonight.” Daichi explained.

“Oh.”

“I was already taking you out, I couldn’t just ditch you.”

“Couldn’t they have joined us?” Suga wonders.

He thinks, “hmm… I didn’t really want them to.”

“Why? Are those some of the coworkers you don’t like?”

“No, Tanaka’s one of my closest work friends.”

“Couldn’t he have joined us then?”

“I just wanted to be with you tonight,” Daichi says without a second thought. It would’ve been a smart decision to think that through. Even with context, that could easily be thought of as more than what Daichi wanted Suga to think of it as. Out of context it could be taken very badly. Clearly Suga had realized this, as he was obviously stifling laughter with blushing furiously. 

“I’m sorry.” he gasps out before bursting into laughter.

“That did not come out right.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Thank you…”

Suga smiled, “No, thank you. That was comedy gold.”

Daichi smiled out of a weird blend of awkward embarrassment and genuinely being humoured. 

“You really just wanted to be with me?”

“Yeah,” Daichi admitted.

“That’s sweet. I’m happy.” 

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

-

It’s half an hour to their reservations when Suga finally stops convincing that “one more episode” of the K-drama they were watching was a good idea.

Suga was about to head to the kitchen to grab a new snack in the last gap between episodes when Daichi had grabbed his wrist and reminded him that he didn’t want to be too full to eat a whole fancy dinner.

The way Suga reacted was by quickly spinning around to face Daichi. It was an interesting way to act when someone had grabbed his wrist and told him how to act. The joke from Noya earlier about an authority kink flew back into his mind, prompting him to drop Suga’s wrist.

Daichi was starting to feel as though he would have to tiptoe around Suga. No way, Suga was the person he was most comfortable around.

Currently, Suga had just screamed at their tv as the ending credits rolled through. Daichi couldn’t blame him, that was a terrible cliffhanger.

Suga turned to Daichi, “Go to dinner without me, I need to know what happens.”

“Suga!” He exclaimed.

Suga raised his hands in innocence, “I’m kidding! I’m actually excited.”

“Wow, how excited are you to get dinner with me?”

Suga ‘playfully’ elbowed him in response as he calmly laughed, “I wanna eat rich people food.”

As he grasped his side, he mumbled out, “you didn’t deny it.”

Suga wasn’t meant to hear it, but he had, and he stuck his tongue out at him like a child. He still wouldn’t deny it, and the rebellious part of Daichi’s mind took note of that.

They both got dressed. Suga looked unreasonably attractive in formalwear. He opted to not go for a blazer, and the simple off-white shirt looked so flawlessly perfect on his body.

It couldn’t have been custom-made, but it might as well have been with the way it fitted to him perfectly. Daichi needed to stop staring and just go.

Most important, but also most difficult, was to stop himself from wondering about how much this seemed like a date.

Obviously, the restaurant they were going to wasn’t one either had been to before, so Daichi didn’t prepare like he would for an actual date.

“Are we going soon?”

Daichi gulped and managed to say, “Sure. I don’t know how long it’s going to take to get there.”

They drive there and show up a little earlier than intended. Early was better than late at least.

Daichi second guessed himself when he walked around to open Suga’s door. He had already opened it himself by then, but Daichi still thought it was weird that he would go to do something like that when he had never felt the need to before. Maybe he was just overthinking things.

Suga smiles at him, “m’lady.”

Daichi narrows his eyes, “m’lady?”

“Yes?” Suga answers as though he’s been called upon.

Daichi rolls his eyes, and he pretends it was a stupid joke. He actually thought it was pretty cute. 

Suga opts to hold onto his sleeve, likely regretting his lack of jacket. Daichi was, too. However, getting closer to another person was an instinctual way to get warmer, after all. It was nice to have some kind of comfort.

Again, he felt both lucky and unlucky. He was getting so close to this man, but the space between where they were and where he wanted them to be was just barely out of reach.

Why was Suga’s touch so effortlessly gentle and overwhelmingly nice?

Oh, who cared if it looked like a date to outsiders? They didn’t matter. Only Suga mattered. As his best friend who he more than occasionally wanted to kiss, there was no reason for him to stop the small ways Suga acts attached.

The coolness in the air had tinted Suga’s nose and cheeks pinkish red. Daichi wanted to cry inside at how pretty he looked.

He didn’t like the loss of pressure against his arm when Suga stopped holding onto his elbow when they walked into the restaurant. 

A lady was waiting at the front desk for customers. She must’ve seen them walk in together with the way the window was positioned.

Daichi’s eyes blinked as he tried to adjust to the much dimmer light in the restaurant. Either it was really dark in this restaurant, or the outside was very bright today. Daichi guessed it was the former, as it was evening. The town had been moderately lit, but the sun was more indirect and muted by the cloud coverage.

Quickly looking at the dining area, it was obvious that the layout was based around privacy and romance. There were tea lights sitting in the middle of booths tucked strategically to hide off different couples from one another.

Shit, he had chosen a date hotspot. 

They must look gay right now. Well, they were, but they weren’t dating. Unless this somehow was a date in Suga’s mind. Daichi wouldn’t mind that, but what he does mind is not knowing what the other is thinking.

The fanciest place they’d been to was a popular Italian restaurant chain that didn’t offer takeout. That was their bar for “fancy.” This was a place with ice buckets next to the tables, shiny black leather in circular booths, expensive looking solid wood tables, and fancy fabric napkins. In other words, uncharted territory, and that was what threw Daichi off.

Suga might’ve noticed it, or he may have just been reaching for comfort and familiarity when in a new place. He locked his pinky around Daichi’s. Daichi squeezed his pinky once to reassure him, and then decided to deal with the whole conversation with the hostess so Suga wouldn’t have to.

The steps forward and swings their connected hands lightly a few times as he greets the lady. “Hello.”

She pointedly looks down at their hands and back up between their faces before her plastered smile melts into a stiff, neutral expression, “Hello, do you have any reservations?”

“Yes, for Sawamura,” he tells her. She nods as she types the name into her computer. She glances over at them once with what looks like… Disdain? Disgust? 

He looks over at Suga, who is distracted staring down at their fingers. 

He must’ve caught Daichi's head turning to look at him because he lifts his gaze and smiles gently at him. Suga quickly turns his attention to the hostess when her high heels clack as she walks towards them holding two menus. Daichi’s mind notes that even the menus looked fancy. 

Suga still clings to him as they are led to a table in the back corner of the restaurant. They weren’t near to anything, not the kitchen, the entrance, or the windows.

It was weird that they were sat in one of the most private booths in the restaurant when they weren’t even a couple. This was a restaurant full of couples, but they were an exception. He didn’t like being treated like a couple to be hidden away from the general public.

Their menus were placed on opposite sides of the booth. An odd move when Daichi had caught glimpses of other pairs tucked up against one another. Had she happened to understand that they were just friends?

Suga wasn’t having any of this, even if they weren’t dating. As he sat down, he very obviously scooted toward a more central area and gestured for him to join with, “Daichi?” He follows.

The waitress stared coldly for a second before walking away without another word. Oh, Suga understood the reason for the woman’s negative attitude towards them and decided to be petty.

Daichi opens the menu and his mouth drops open in shock, “Oh my, this place  _ is _ fancy.”

“The prices?” Suga guesses.

“That’s not what I was meaning, but OH,” he exclaims when he looks at the small curly numbers. 

It was worth it, he reminded himself. “This all looks so good!” Suga says. Yup, he was happy, so Daichi was too.

“I mean, I sure hope so.”

Suga smiles widely at him, “you need to get a raise more often.”

He laughs, “I can get on board with that.”

“Congratulations,” he leans back against the seat.

“Thanks, I no longer have to break up parties at 4 in the morning.”

“Wasn’t that where your favourite story came from, though?”

“Oh yeah. I can’t believe you remembered it.”

Suga shrugs, “Don’t be that surprised.”

“Ok, but that was so long ago. I didn’t even remember it until you brought it up, and it was  _ my _ story.” Daichi protested.

He argued, “It was funny.”

“And you remember every funny thing?” he questioned back.

“When you tell it to me,” Suga shrugged.

He went red, “what’s that supposed to mean?” slips out. Daichi feels like slapping his hand over his mouth, but that would likely only exaggerate his worry into an actual problem.

Suga was blushing too, “I… I don’t know. You’re my friend. That story was unforgettable, it sounded so cliche, but so weird. ”

“With the underwear on a lightpost? It really does sound cliche.”

“Exactly, and so did the thing with strippers.”

“And when I found out they were cousins?”

“Oh! That was so gross.”

They both laugh at the stupidity.

Daichi looked back at his menu and tried to decide on a champagne to order for them. That was what adults did when they celebrated, right? He’d always just drink cheap beer with his friends, but that was in college. Daichi had to be mature, now. He was celebrating a  _ promotion  _ after all.

This was dumb, wasn’t it? He wanted diet coke, not some stupid champagne. Suga knew him, he knew Suga. It was already uncharacteristic enough for them to be at such a high class place, ordering a high class drink would be too off for them.

So when a new waiter came over to take their order, this time a man who wasn’t giving them weird looks, he ordered, “A diet cola, and he wants a Sprite, right?”

Suga nods with a smile and adds, “with ice, please.” Right, he forgot about that part. Daichi couldn’t even remember Suga’s usual order, but Suga could remember a work story from almost two years ago. Wait, yes he could. Daichi has never once heard Suga order ice with his drink.

After they finish talking with the waiter he confronts him, “you never order ice in your drink.”

“I wanted to be different tonight, y’know?” he explained.

“I get it,” Daichi agreed. He  _ had  _ been considering champagne for a split second earlier.

Wow, he really wanted to kiss him. Now or any time.

He just wanted to know what it would be like. How it would feel, how Suga would act.

As if he could get Suga to kiss him anyways.

Conversation up until their dinners arrived was light and normal. Suga kept on congratulating him for moving to the day shift. 

They both managed to list off all the positives, most of which were about ways their routines could allow them to interact easier. Suga realized that he would have to make breakfast, then complained that Daichi was a much better chef and should just wake up an hour earlier to cook for him.

Daichi just laughed and called him lazy.

Did Suga’s eyes sparkle when his spicy entree was placed in front of him? Yes, yes they did. 

Daichi had just ordered nigiri that he could’ve gotten any other time. It was the only thing he felt comfortable ordering. Sure, it all seemed fancy, but the nigiri was one of the few dishes with the least scary price tag. He could afford it with his new salary, but it still scared him to jump from spending maybe between one or two thousand yen between both of them to paying three thousand yen for a single dish.

These places would be overpriced and stupid, if it weren’t for Daichi’s heart fluttering out of his chest watching Suga feel special and happy.

Suga’s nose went pink through the night, and by the bottom of his bowl, he was sniffling too.

“Was that too spicy?” Daichi asked.

“No,” Suga lied, rubbing his nose with a napkin.

The waiter checked in on them, so Daichi asked for a glass of milk.

Suga whined, “I didn’t need that.”

“Yes you did,” Daichi stopped.

Suga whined, “no, I like spicy stuff.”

“I know. Too bad you can’t eat it without being in pain.”

“Hey!”

“I’m not wrong.”

Suga got the milk Daichi ordered for him and immediately gulped it down.

“I thought you said you didn’t need it,” Daichi reminded him.

He glared, “I don’t.”

“Sure,” he laughed, clearly not believing him.

“I don’t!” he protested.

“I didn’t disagree,” Daichi shrugged.

Suga pointed an accusatory finger at him, “but you were thinking it.”

“Oh, so you’re a mind reader now?”

“Please,” he scoffed, “I can read you like an open book.”

Daichi raised an eyebrow, “Really? So you’re calling yourself illiterate now?”

“No I’m not. Stop that!”

“Stop being so embarrassed, and just admit you can’t handle spicy food.”

Suga whined, “I can! I just did.”

Daichi shook his head, “you would’ve died without something to cool off your mouth.”

He pouted and leaned back in his chair. With arms crossed, Suga mumbled out an incomprehensible complaint.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Stop acting like a five-year-old,” he demanded.

He argued, “five-year-olds are fun. You’re mean.”

“Ouch!”

“You’re the one actually being rude!” Suga whined, “I’m just calling you out.”

“No, you’re the one being immature and stupid.”

“See! Mean.”

The waiter walks up to them and chuckles, “trouble in paradise?”

Both of them turn to look at him awkwardly. Nope, not paradise. Not a relationship. An entirely platonic set of friends who both happen to like men and live together. Daichi is starting to see where the waiter got that idea.

“I- have misread the situation. My apologies,” he stutters.

“It’s fine,” Suga assures him.

The waiter takes a deep breath and tries not to act embarrassed, “and are you done with those plates?”

“Yes,” they say in unison.

The waiter takes them and scoots away uncomfortably.

Daichi sighed, “that was weird.”

“Not really,” Suga said with a shrug.

Daichi questioned, “why not?”

“It was a reasonable mistake to make in a restaurant full of couples, Daichi,” Suga explained.

He blushed slightly, “I didn’t realize when I chose the restaurant, ok?”

“I was there, I know,” he recalled.

“I’m still sorry, even if it wasn’t my fault.”

Suga comforted, “there’s worse things in the world than someone assuming that I was dating you.”

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Daichi suddenly knew one of the things he was about to constantly think about when he let his mind wander.

They skipped desert, paid, and left pretty soon.

Outside was colder than it had been when they went in the restaurant, and the sky had gone a dark blue fading into a pink sunset.

“Aren’t you tired?” Suga asked.

Daichi answered, “exhausted. Why?”

“It’s been over a day since you last slept, right?”

“Yup.”

“Are you ok to drive?”

“I’m fine,” Daichi protested.

“It’s ok, I brought my wallet,” he assured.

Daichi finally accepted, “ok.”

He stared at Suga for the most of the drive home.

Suga was so pretty. Daichi had fallen hard.

Maybe he would have to keep putting them in scenarios where they look like a couple to numb the pain. Another accidental date like this couldn’t be that bad, could it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone say: "Thank you, Tanaka/Noya."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga is NOT an angel. Then he feels bad about not being an angel.
> 
> this is the closest I'll get to a character study for Daichi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today I found out that Barron Trump (Donald's 14yo son) plays roblox and watches mha. so clearly todoroki has a real life equivalent.  
> yea that's all.

He was in deep. It was a couple weeks since the two had gone out on that ‘date’ that wasn’t a date. Suga tried to remind himself that it was only to celebrate Daichi’s promotion, nothing else. Still, his brain nagged at him.  _ What if it wasn’t just that? _

That part of his brain wasn’t irrational. Suga still had to listen to all the evidence, examples, and explanations the pesky side of his conscience would give him.

Didn’t he keep a diary? 

He did. Suga had found out recently, and promised he wouldn’t look through it. 

It was just so tempting to take a peek. Maybe Suga wouldn’t be able to figure out the weird atmosphere between them lately. Sure, he knew why he himself was acting weird, but not the other’s actions.

Suga can’t read minds, but he can read journal entries. That’s the closest thing. 

Daichi didn’t need to know.

It could be a secret that Suga kept to himself. It was only for himself, anyway, not for him to talk to anyone else about.

He needed this knowledge.

Suga knew he was going to regret the decision if he actually did end up going through with it. How could Daichi ever trust him if he somehow found out that Suga betrayed him?

Maybe it was his fault for writing in a diary- sorry, a journal- like some teenage girl.

Was it really Suga’s fault for being curious about the secrets that all lie so close to his reach.

Today was a perfect opportunity. Daichi was at work, since it was a Saturday. Suga didn’t have to go to a school and instead graded assignments and prepped class plans at home over the weekend.

His work was boring him. Giving out so many multiple choice question assignments seemed smart at first. They were definitely quicker to mark, but endlessly monotonous.

Instead of marking, there was something else a bit more entertaining and it was bothering him. Suga’s brain had begun to come up with wild scenarios that could play out whether or not he read the journal.

Weirdly enough, he thought of the prospect of Daichi being a serial killer. If Suga read the journal, he could learn and escape before he became his next victim.

This was a matter of life or death! That was the last straw, Suga just had to read it.

He walked across the room and apprehensively opened the door to Daichi’s room. Suga bit his lip, he was already filled with regret for an act he hadn’t even committed yet. 

Suga took one glance at the door to the apartment with the intention of double checking if Daichi would catch him. A weird prospect considering how he was supposed to be working for around five more hours. Perhaps Suga was being paranoid, but that was how he had talked himself into snooping through his roommates belongings in the first place.

The worn looking notebook was shoved under layers of clothing in the same spot Suga had originally found it. 

Daichi must have really trusted Suga if he wouldn’t move the item. Too bad Suga was currently betraying that trust.

The worn notebook had a pen tucked into the page Daichi was writing at.

Suga sat down on the bed cross legged and took a deep sigh to muster the courage to open up the first page of the notebook.

He finally did. Suga’s stomach dropped. Nothing had happened, but he felt as though he just crossed a line that he couldn’t go back over.

He looked down at the page and started to read quietly and carefully.

_ April 8th, _

_ Am I supposed to start this with “dear diary” or something? I don’t want to. Recently someone came into the precinct to do a presentation with us on coping with difficult stuff we have to see as a part of our job. One thing they recommended was journaling. Here I am. I would usually just tell Suga about this stuff, but I can’t tell him about the gross stuff without feeling guilty, and not the confidential things either. _

Suga noted how he was already mentioned on the first page Daichi had written on.

_ Sometimes, I hate working at night. Suga’s lucky, he gets to work during the day like everyone else. It would be a relief to match up with everyone else. I mean, my schedule already matches up with Suga’s really well. What if that didn’t happen if I switched??? That would suck… _

That was sweet. He was being considerate of Suga. Makes sense, since their lives were so connected.

He skimmed over some more, before finding another passage that was of interest.

_ April 17th _

_ Maybe this whole journaling thing isn’t so bad. I’m actually starting to like it a bit. This morning, I got home from work later than usual. I barely even got to see Suga, but he had made pancakes for us. It was really nice of him. He didn’t even know that my night was difficult, but it fixed it.  _

Suga felt touched. He couldn’t even remember. Sometime in mid-April… he had made pancakes. Was that the first time he did that? All Suga knew was that he made pancakes every weekend. 

He decided it was probably the first time he had made pancakes, since Daichi wouldn’t care to point out something so routine. 

A few pages after, Suga saw something that hurt his heart.

_ I feel kind of bad. Should I do something in exchange? He’s just so nice without having to try and I put so much effort into people not hating. I get hated so much at work. Criminals that yell at me are just petty, but I feel like I’m always being bossed around by my coworkers since I’m on the lowest level. _

Why did he want to travel back in time and give April Daichi a hug?

_ I should get some work friends on the night shift. It’s been so lonely since Tanaka and Noya moved to the day shift. At least I have Suga at home, right? It seems weird… Suga is already closer to me than Asahi is. I don’t hate it, but Asahi was my best friend since middle school and all through college. I like Suga. I mean, obviously since he’s become my best friend. It just sort of feels like I’m moving on from my childhood. Growing up doesn’t suck as much as I was led to believe. _

It was a good thing they both considered each other their best friends. That would’ve been kind of awkward if they didn’t. 

_ May 1st, _

_ I’m exhausted, I hate my job, and I want to go to sleep. I can’t stop thinking about the murder case they’ve assigned me. I wish I could say any details, but who knows what could happen to this journal? Getting such an important case was an honour at first, but now I just can’t stop thinking that it was a mistake. A person died, and I have to be responsible for making sure their killer doesn’t get away with it. It’s so much… _

_ May 3rd, _

_ Suga feels different than Asahi did. Is it because their personalities are so different? Is it because I live with Suga? Or is it because I feel different about them. _

He reads again many pages afterwards.

_ May 22nd, _

_ I wanna be able to talk to Suga… Goddamn confidentiality. I feel like crying about some of the stuff I see. I’ve seen dismembered limbs, and I don’t know how to deal with it. It’s disgusting. Everything is disgusting. Maybe I shouldn’t have become a cop if I can’t manage it. A journal just isn’t the same as getting actual support. _

Suga was getting impatient. This was depressing, but he had never known the whole time. He desperately needed to know if Daichi was still upset so he could try and help. 

He looked for more recent dates. Starting near mid- October, he dropped himself into a new world of Daichi’s diary.

_ October 17th, _

_ Why am I still dressing up for Halloween? I’m an adult. Suga is making me go to a party that Noya’s throwing. I didn’t like it at first, but Suga wanted to go. We went to find ourselves costumes and Suga decided that it was a good idea to mess around instead of taking it seriously. There were all these dumb costumes that he kept on trying on. I didn’t stop him, though. It was too funny. _

Finally, an entry that wasn’t half focused on work. Maybe Daichi wasn’t so hung up on it anymore, or maybe this was an exception. 

Suga remembered that shopping trip. He ended up going as a TikTok e-boy. The eyeliner was fun, and the shirt was actually pretty flattering. Daichi went as a pirate. The blouse he wore left his chest partially bare, which may have been the entire reason why Suga refused to look at him much.

Little did Daichi know, Suga bought a costume that day that Daichi clearly just thought was a joke.

Suga didn’t ever have a chance to wear it, at least not in the past month. It was too embarrassing for Daichi to catch him, and since they shared an apartment he could easily be caught. Even without that, the costume was too risque to wear for literally anything. It was a waste of Suga’s money for now, but maybe he would find a purpose for it in the far off future.

Moving on to the interesting thing, he found more about them and less about work.

_ October 20th,  _

_ Suga was really off this evening. Not in a bad way, just that he was being extremely careful around me. I’m tough, am I not? I have to be, both emotionally and physically.  _

Mmm… Physically… Suga scolded his brain for going there, before arguing with himself that no damage can be done by simply thinking about things.

Damn back muscles, and tough arms that felt like a goddamn pillow to rest on.

_ I wanna know if I did something, or if it’s possible for me to fix it. _

Suga couldn’t even remember why he was acting differently. Maybe he hadn’t even noticed that something had changed in himself.

_ Oct 21st, _

_ He’s back to normal. Good to know this isn’t gonna be a long lasting thing. I don’t know if I could take him being so weird for much longer. _

That’s sweet...

_ Oct 24th, _

_ Suga is extremely drunk. I need to go to work now, so it’s a shorter entry but I can finish it in the evening. _

_ Oct 25th, _

_ I’m on the day shift. I’m on the day shift. I’m exhausted, and I plan on switching my sleep schedule over by 12 hours in one night. I’m on the day shift. Suga and I are going out tonight to celebrate. Noya and Tanaka also wanted to celebrate with me, but I said no. Oh no, what if it looks like a date? _

So they were both mutually panicking over that when it happened. 

_ Oh yeah, the thing from last night. Suga was extremely drunk, which never happens by the way. I don’t think he’s even touched alcohol in over a month. With the hangover he had this morning, I don’t think he’s going to again for a while. It was crazy how different he acted, while still being the exact same. He also seemed really… normal… for a drunk person. His sentences all made sense (grammatically, at least), and his voice was only slightly slurred. _

No memories were retained from that night, except for the way Daichi smiled. It still made his stomach churn, probably from butterflies.

_ One thing different is that he really wanted to dance. It happened twice throughout the night. At first, when I went to take him home from the bar, he wanted to dance and holy shit I thought I was gonna die that whole time. Then, at home, he played this French song that I couldn’t understand. Clearly, he couldn’t understand it either. I can’t speak French, but I know that what he was saying couldn’t possibly be right. _

Finally, some details. What made it so hard for Daichi to tell him about it the next day then? To Suga, it just seemed normal.

_ Oct 30th, _

_ It has just crossed my mind that I don’t know what Suga bought for his costume. He went to the cash register without me while I was in the change rooms. Then the costume was in the bag where I couldn’t see it. Should I ask him about it? _

The jokes on him, Suga didn’t even wear the costume he bought hat time.

_ Oct 31st, _

_ I didn’t realize that Suga had tried on an e-boy costume. Scratch that, I didn’t even know that was a costume at all. It was really pretty.  _

Suga flipped away before he spontaneously combusted.

A page after...

_ Nov 2nd, _

_ Suga. _

What? It was nothing else. Just his name by itself in the middle of Daichi’s journal. 

Daichi, who Suga is most definitely attracted to. By a lot. His roommate. His goddamn roommate, who had the most perfect non-complicated friendship with him. Daichi, who he wasn’t allowed to make a move on in fear that things wouldn’t play out perfectly.

Nothing is perfect, it’s not allowed to be. His life was probably at the best point it had been in a long time, but it wasn’t perfect. It can’t be. Perfection is simply impossible.

Suga was fed up with this journal, but he needed one last piece of information.

He looks for the most recent one

_ Nov 7th, _

Yesterday, Suga reminded himself. The note is next to an empty page, and it’s obviously the last thing he’s written

_ I don’t feel the same need for this journal that I did when I first started using it to vent about the grief from horrors at work. It’s more used for the things I can’t tell Suga. He saw that I had a journal a couple weeks ago, but I don’t think he’s looked through it since then. _

Suga felt so guilty about this. Daichi trusted him, and he had betrayed him here.

_ I guess… I can tell him. Maybe, eventually, in the far off future. Not yet. _

Tell me what? Suga was the one he was referring to, right? Who knows? It probably was him, right? 

Suga would not let himself obsess over it. Instead, Suga was going to put back the journal in the exact same way that he had brought it out in the first place.

The pen Suga had discarded earlier was folded inside that last page where it had been at the beginning. He shoved it into the drawer and piled clothes back on top. The drawer closed, and so did the door to Daichi’s bedroom. With it, so did that bad episode of Suga’s life.

It didn’t provide the clarity that Suga needed. Instead, the experience had just added layers upon layers of extra information that he had to decipher.

-

Suga mindlessly graded papers for hours. He did tense up a little bit when Daichi entered, but shook off his worry so that Daichi hopefully wouldn’t notice a change in his behavior and suspect anything.

He raised his voice to a high, feminine pitch, “Honey, you’re home.”

Daichi snorted, “Honey?”

“What?” Suga whined, back in his normal voice, “I thought it was funny.”

“It is, don’t worry.”

“Good!”

“I brought dinner,” Daichi said, raising up a bag with takeout.

Suga laughed and joked, “providing for me like a good husband.”

Daichi blinked, “please don’t say you’re making this into a running joke.”

Suga feigned being offended with a loud, overdone gasp, “You don’t like it? Well, now I have to make this last for way too long!”

“Sure thing, darling.”

“You’re going along with it?”

“Yup.”

“You can’t do that! It ruins the fun for me.”

Daichi raised an eyebrow and deliberately stared directly into Suga’s eyes as he set out their dinner, “That’s the point…  _ sweetie. _ ” 

Daichi broke into hysterics right after that. Suga wheezed right after, “Oh no, I hated that. Please don’t do it again.” 

“I won’t, I promise.” A flaming lie

Suga’s nickname became ‘Babe’ after that. Ironically, of course.

What else could it be? A dude seriously calling him babe? That hadn’t happened to him outside of a relationship, so it must be impossible.

They ate dinner, which was good. Food, sustenance, lovely. Suga was struggling to think about anything else other than his betrayal.

Daichi choked on his food when Suga started listing off nicknames he could give him.

And for the rest of the evening, Suga acted normally. Daichi didn’t suspect anything.

Suga did go to bed earlier than usual. He needed to withdraw. His stomach felt sick, and not like it did from butterflies. He felt so guilty he might throw up.

Daichi… Daichi didn’t deserve to have his privacy invaded. He deserved to have parts of his life that he kept separate from him, and that was exactly the purpose of the diary to him.

His arms wrapped around his stomach and he curled into a ball on his side.

A teardrop fell from his eye and dripped sideways into his silver hair mussed up against his bedsheets.

Suga was filled with frustration at the world. At the way things were going.

He felt as though he didn’t even deserve to feel sad. A stupid thought, but it made sense in his mind. If the reason he was crying was over a boy, then life must be going good.

There’s been worse things he’s cried over in the past. Much much much worse things.

Yet somehow, the anguish of being infatuated with your best friend was worse.

It wasn’t just a crush, now was it? Crushes don’t make Suga’s heart physically ache. Crushes never made him cry himself to sleep. Crushes don’t make him feel like they could break Suga into a million pieces and he could be ok with it. 

Only one person had made Suga feel so strongly before, his highschool sweetheart. The person he first fell in love with. He was the only other gay boy in the small conservative town he grew up in that Suga knew of. It felt forced at first, but then Suga grew more and more attached and eventually found himself bound to this other boy.

The benefits of moving to a liberal big city is options. More people were out in the big city, there were even gay bars where Suga knew he could easily pick up a gay man. For some reason, he still chose the person right in front of his face.

Honestly, Suga didn’t know when he had fallen in love with Daichi. All he knew was that it was excruciatingly difficult to deal with once he realized what the feelings were.

More tears streamed down his face. It wasn’t like him to be a bad person. Maybe it would’ve been fine if it were his siblings or someone who he kind of hated and wanted to get back at by digging up their secrets. It wasn’t, though. It was the man who had trusted him, and still trusted him right now.

Suga wanted to fess up, but he didn’t want to make things worse when he could pretend.

It made him feel bad, but he would feel that either way, wouldn’t he?

Was it the best idea to come clean? The idea of coming  _ clean _ just sounded so good. He was known for innocence, so he wanted to uphold that reputation. 

Would admitting to his wrongdoings allow him to be forgiven or defined by those bad actions.

He was feeling dizzy, perhaps from the spiralling he was experiencing.

A faint click on the other side of the wall could be heard, followed by the sound of scribbling. It made Suga stop breathing for a second. He hoped that Daichi was still clueless about what he had done. Suga needed him to keep on liking him, even just in that platonic way that he was almost sure Daichi did. 

He was never gonna betray his trust ever again.

Suga cried himself to sleep filled with guilt, worry, and regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M VERY SORRY FOR MAKING SUGA CRY. I JUST MISS ANGST, BUT I PROMISED I WOULDN'T MAKE THIS THAT DEPRESSING.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is referenced/implied homophobia here. Now, it’s not bad because I didn’t feel like triggering myself (homophobia does relate to my trauma and is one of my triggers yay fun -_-), but either way just read at your own risk. If you’re sensitive to that kind of stuff just be careful please. I won’t be offended if you skip this chapter lol.

“Morning, babe,” Daichi said in a groggy morning voice. Testing out the waters with a new joking nickname was number one on his to-do list today. Who cares if Daichi might want to use it unironically eventually? For now, it was fun enough to see the reaction that came.

Suga choked on his coffee. Oops. Maybe he was caught off guard by being called babe out of nowhere.

Daichi noticed, “Sorry! Did I startle you or was it the nickname?” He noted the reaction, and decided that continuing to 

Suga hummed, “both.” His nose stung from the coffee that had almost spurted out of it.

“Great, are you busy today?”

“Is that the first thing you’re saying to me this morning?”

“Nope, the first I said was ‘morning, babe,’ remember?”

“Fine,” Suga admitted

“So are you free?” Daichi reiterated.

Suga squinted at him, “I have work, genius. Do you not?”

“No, I don’t. The rest of the week I’m not going in,” Daichi sighed. It wasn’t as if he didn’t appreciate being given time off, but it was so soon since his promotion that he hadn’t even gotten enough time to fully adjust.

“You’ve barely started on the day shift, and this is how they’re treating you?”

He shrugged, “Meh.”

“What did you want to do, anyway?” Suga wondered.

“I need to go Christmas shopping.”

“Daichi, it’s  _ November _ ,” he recalled in confusion.

Daichi professed, “I know! I’m last-minute Christmas shopping.”

“Is… Is this a joke?” Suga sputtered.

He pouted, “no.”

“Can we go on Friday? The school has early dismissal, remember?”

Daichi smiled, “thank you!”

“Sure thing,” Suga laughed.

-

Friday was grossly cold, but at least there wasn’t any snow

Daichi was in the parking lot, leaning against his car waiting. He had been standing there for about ten minutes, as he really had no idea how long it would take before Suga could possibly 

Suga waved and quickly scuffled over, “Hey! Why are you outside of your car? It’s freezing.”

“Why not?” Daichi asked in response.

“It’s freezing! I can’t even feel my hands,” he complained. Suga raised his hands up in a ball in front of his chest. The tips of his fingers were already pink from the brisk air.

Inspiration hit him. Daichi offered, “I can warm them up for you.” 

“What?” Suga coughed. The blush on his cheeks and nose went deeper rapidly, clearly not because of the cold. This was when he looked prettiest, when he was flustered and embarrassed. Lucky for Daichi, that reaction was easy to pull from him.

Suga’s eyes widened looking down at his hands as Daichi wrapped his palms around Suga’s fists. He steps back and Daichi drops his hands.

“Sorry,” Suga mumbled.

Daichi shook his head, “no, it’s fine.” They both go into the car after that

They make small talk on the way to the mall, but nothing with any relevance came up.

He pulled into a parking stall near to the entrance so Suga wouldn’t have to walk too far and get cold. It wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, considering that he walks to work on even the coldest of days.

It was just being considerate and polite, and that was also the logic behind opening the car door for Suga. It had no selfish backing to it, Daichi’s motivation was not trying to get a smile directed towards him.

“So, where do you need to go?” Suga asked.

Daichi thought for a minute, answering as he remembered, “my mom likes books.” 

“We can go to the bookstore first,” he suggested.

“Thanks,” Daichi accepted, “and then the chocolate place for my brother?”

Suga nodded and hummed as Daichi’s answers kept coming.

“I could get something for my sister at both of those places, too.”

“Mhm.”

“I should get Asahi something, and the guys at work,” he thought.

Suga wondered, “what about your dad?”

“Well…” Daichi swallowed, “I don’t really know much about what he likes.”

“Why?” he prodded. The two reach the bookstore and head inside. It smells like pine and crisp paper.

He forced out a response, despite being uncomfortable, “I kind of spent more time… uh, focusing on what he doesn’t like.”

Suga stayed quiet, “oh. Sorry.”

“If I think about it, I really came out lucky,” Daichi confessed.

“With your dad?”

“Um. Yeah.”

“Do you mind telling me?”

Daichi has walked into the mystery novel section, conveniently in the back corner of the store. Instead of looking through the books, he sighed and turned to look at Suga, “my dad is really… traditional.”

“Ah,” Suga understood. Both of them were aware of what that would mean. After all, he had probably experienced the same misogyny.

“He didn’t figure out. At least, not until I was already in university,” Daichi explained. “Even then, it wasn’t as though he disowned me or anything. He just...strongly discourages me from having a relationship with a man.”

Suga cringed, “but… you do like girls too, right?”

“You see, that wasn’t always a good thing for me,” he elaborated, “when I got a girlfriend in my last year of university, my dad celebrated that I was ‘over that dark chapter in my life.’ Oh, and did I ever tell you about Michimiya?”

He shook his head, “nope.”

“Ah. Well, she was my closest female friend since middle school. Our parents were also friends, and my dad… wanted me to date a girl to get over guys. He tried to force her and I into a relationship, and it… Well, it didn’t work out,” Daichi explained.

“I- wow.”

“Worst part about it is Michimiya actually liked me. I felt like she was more of a sister to me, so it got really awkward between us after that.”

“So did your friendship end?” Suga questioned.

Daichi pulled a book off the shelves, and stared at it while replying, “Yup. I haven’t talked to her since the first year of university, when it all happened.”

“I’m sorry,” Suga comforted.

Daichi shrugged.

Suga tilted his head sympathetically, “Thanks for telling me about it. Parents can suck sometimes.”

“No problem,” Daichi smiled, “and I mean, I still have a great mom.” It had all happened a while ago. Things hadn’t gotten worse, but it wasn’t as if they got better either. He still came around occasionally for family gatherings. He talked with his mom often, and had a tense relationship with his father. “I like this book,” he decided and promptly walked to the cash register.

“Cool, where to now?” Suga called as he caught up with him.

Daichi hummed, “Do you wanna choose? Surely, you’ve gotta get some gifts too.”

“Amazon,” Suga replied, “a gift from the Gods.”

Daichi laughed, “still, do you wanna choose?”

“I want to mess around and try on clothes at one point, but for now let’s get candy,” Suga directed.

He nodded, “yes, that’s what I usually get my brother.”

“Do you think you could get your father something there too?”

Daichi frowned, “I don’t know, I usually just get him a tie.”

“Hmmm, alright. What about some slippers?”

“As if he would wear them, he hasn’t worn different slippers for as long as I can remember.”

Suga laughed, “get them out of spite for the exact reason that it’s a bad gift.”

Daichi smiled at him, “I like the way your mind works.” In a split second impulse decision, he grabbed Suga’s wrist and dragged him into the nearest clothing store.

“What the-” Suga exclaimed.

“You wanna try some stuff while I find crap to give my family?” 

“What happened to going to the candy store?”

“Hmmm… We’re going there last,” Daichi decided.

Suga frowned, “And when did you decide that?”

“Just now.”

“And why do you think I’m gonna go along with whatever you choose.”

“Because you don’t wanna say no to me?” Daichi pouted

He scrunched up his nose and pulled his lips into a squiggly line of a smile, “fine.”

Daichi easily found generic gifts to give to his family, like a scarf, a blanket, mugs, and slippers. He also found a cheesy sweatshirt that would make a great gag gift for Noya.

They stopped at the food court for dinner.

Through a mouthful of food, Suga forced out a muffled, “Did you get everything you wanted?”

“Oh, no way. I’m only about halfway done,” Daichi explained.

Suga’s eyes dropped open, “are you not tired?”

“You want coffee?” he suggested.

“But that’s not fair if you can’t have any,” Suga argued. That was sweet, he remembered that Daichi’s doctor had told him to stop having caffeine

Daichi shrugged, “I can get tea or something.” 

He frowned, “since when do you like tea?”

“I dunno, I never really had to have it before.”

“So can we go that place over there?” Suga pointed to a relatively quiet food stall along the edges of the court. 

Daichi agreed, “whatever you want.”

“Aw, thank you!” Suga exclaimed while scarfing down the food in front of him.

“Damn, slow down.”

Suga narrowed his eyes. Daichi sighed, knowing he was about to become petty and regret it later.

As expected, Suga didn’t listen and shovelled food into his mouth at an alarming rate. This was not attractive.

Suga’s eyes widened and he started coughing. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes. It took a second, but he started breathing properly again with Daichi glaring daggers into him.

“This is your fault,” Suga whined, “you provoked me.”

He scoffed, “you’re not a child, take some responsibility.”

Suga pouted.

Daichi laughed, and then suggested, “do you wanna go get your coffee now?’

He nodded, and the pout faded into a soft smile.

Daichi offered to take all the bags, since they were things he had bought. Regardless, Suga refused to take no for an answer and ended up carrying a couple bags. Daichi had been smart enough to at least trick him into taking the lighter items.

“Hey, they have decaf here,” Suga pointed out.

Daichi looked to where he was gesturing, “hmm, I don’t see the point of having coffee if it doesn’t have caffeine.”

“Uh, taste?” Suga snorted. The sass was getting more intense. Suga needed to stop before Daichi imploded.

“Eh, I still don’t really get it,” he excused.

They went up to order. Suga ordered a specialty drink with a double shot of espresso and loads of caffeine and plenty of sugary additives. Did he even plan on sleeping? For himself, a simple iced green tea with honey. It felt like he was being healthy, even if it was just a simple drink. Coffee could easily be healthy too, but not the way Suga had just ordered it.

“How do you even plan on drinking something like that?” Daichi criticised. 

Completely seriously, Suga answered, “with a straw.”

He blinked, left speechless.

“Oh my god, you were being mean to me,” Suga realized.

“Oh my god, you were serious.”

“Yes?”

“I  _ meant  _ how are you gonna survive putting that crap into your body?”

“Simple, I’m an immortal,” Suga joked.

Daichi quipped back, “So that’s how you keep doing dumb stuff without any hesistation.”

Suga elbowed him in his side.

The tea he ordered was slid in front of him before Suga’s drink was finished. Perhaps this was because his own order was much simpler than whatever processed junk was being piled into the cup that showed up a minute after.

He sipped the sugary monstrosity and Daichi cringed. The idea of having that made him want to run. It almost made him fear Suga, if he weren’t used to this by now.

Daichi and Suga wandered around the mall, until Daichi eventually suggested that they go into a perfume store that he knew his sister liked.

“Oh, I like that place too,” Suga mumbled barely loud enough for Daichi to hear.

He smiled at Suga, “really?”

Suga blushed, “oops, you heard that?”

“Yup.”

“Oh my, this is embarrassing.”

“Why?” Daichi wondered. The obvious femininity of the store? That was definitely it, but he had to have Suga confirm that suspicion before he could tell him that it was ok to like feminine stuff. 

Suga rambled, “I, well, perfume? Isn’t it embarrassing to wear it? It’s pretty girly and I, y’know, I…” Just as Daichi had thought.

“I know, but it’s not embarrassing,” Daichi assured, “it would be embarrassing if you smelled like shit, but you don’t.”

“Thanks…”

In the store, Suga freely enjoyed whatever was around him. There were a bunch of Christmas themed scents for him to get excited about. Honestly, Daichi might have to throw out his cologne in exchange for the hot chocolate fragrance.

He silently noted that having so many Christmas-ey items for sale around the mall proved that he was not too early for holiday shopping. Suga just had bad habits in comparison.

Daichi attempted to look for something for his sister.

The facade of comfort must’ve been easy to see through, as a sales lady walked up to him mere moments after he had broken off from Suga. 

It wasn’t really ‘broken off,’ since he was still right next to Daichi. It was simply because they were doing different things, with Suga intermittently turning and saying something like “Daichi, look at this,” or, “Daichi, what do you think of this one?”

Still, the lady had noticed his inexperience in the store and walked over to greet him, “Hello, sir, is there anything I can help you with?”

Daichi takes advantage of the opportunity. He did need help, “Um, yeah. I was looking for something to get my sister. I’m just really lost, all I know is that she liked this place.”

“Well, we’re always happy to hear about a happy customer,” she cheered, “If you would like, I can suggest some of our most popular fragrances that she’ll most likely like. May I ask if you know of any scents she likes?” He didn’t really keep tabs on his sister’s perfume collection. The only person that he could remember the perfume for was Suga, and that was a whole other obsession to unravel.

Daichi sighed, “no, I’m completely clueless.”

Suga turned around and exclaimed, “Daichi! Smell this one, it’s so good. If your sister doesn’t like it then she’s stupid and you should disown her.”

“I’m not disowning my sister over perfume,” he argued as Suga shoved his wrist in front of Daichi’s nose. He was overwhelmed by a potent fruity smell. It was strong enough to give him a headache if he hadn’t pulled Suga’s arm down from in front of his fine.

“So whaddya think?” he asked eagerly.

“It was nice. What was it?”

“Strawberry lemonade.”

The sales woman interjected, “that’s one of our new products. It’s not a Christmas scent, so it’ll hopefully be sticking around for a while.”

Suga demanded, “buy it. It’s perfect”

“Are you that determined to get this?” Daichi laughed.

He nodded, with a determined pout that he clearly knew would convince Daichi.

The woman agreed, “yes, listen to your boyfriend.”

They both snapped their heads to look at her.

Daichi stuttered, eyes wide, “my…what?”

“His..what?” Suga echoed.

She went bright red, “I am so sorry! You just… I’m sorry. It was an accident. You, I’m, uh, I…”

“It’s fine,” Daichi assured, “right, babe?”

“You can’t just call me that when someone thought we were dating,” Suga grumbled.

“I’m sorry!” The woman blurted out one last time before turning around. Her and her red face ran away to find another customer to inadvertently embarrass. Maybe that was a bit harsh, but that was why Daichi had a mind-to-mouth filter.

It wasn’t that far off, he had to admit. Daichi wasn’t an idiot. He knew that going to the mall with your partner was a textbook example of a date.

It was also a textbook example of things to do with your friends. Perhaps it was because they were only two people. One the other hand, they were two  _ men _ and it is generally assumed in society that people are straight until proven otherwise. Did she get any evidence to prove otherwise outside of them being in a perfume store? The lady understood that he was shopping for his sister.

After Daichi pays for the perfume, the strawberry lemonade one like Suga had suggested, Suga asks, “where do you need to get stuff now.”

“My sugar-addicted little brother can just have chocolate,” Daichi decided. It was clearly a jab at Suga, who had just finished drinking what was likely over a hundred grams of sugar.

“Sugar addict? I can help with that,” he suggested.

Daichi sighed, “I know.”

“Hey, I have a very serious question.”

“About?”

Suga, entirely serious, answered, “chocolate.”

“I… Ok, what is it?” Daichi continued.

He blabbered a very in depth explanation instead of the real question, “So white chocolate. Is it really a type of chocolate? Chocolate is supposed to have cocoa, but knowing white chocolate, I really don’t think there’s any cocoa in it.”

“Hmm, I think you’re right,” Daichi agreed.

“Thank you!” Suga exclaimed, a bit too loud, “white chocolate is great, but it’s not chocolate.”

“You like it?” he wondered.

Suga nodded, “yes, even if it’s a bunch of lies, it’s still probably my favourite chocolate.”

They walked into the chocolate store, and once again, Suga chose out the gift instead of Daichi. And once again, the gift was perfect for the sibling that Suga hadn’t even met before.

A bag of gummy worms and a collection of rock candy. Daichi also grabbed a box of white chocolate and managed to buy them without Suga noticing. 

He was too busy looking at the little snowflake pretzels to even register Daichi’s presence until he put his hand on Suga’s shoulder.

Suga jumped, but quickly calmed after seeing who it was, “oh, sorry. Did you get everything.?”

“Well, mostly,” Daichi replied vaguely

Suga groaned, “How much longer? My feet hurt.”

“I’m done, I just want ice cream,” he assured.

He sighed in relief, “Good thing this place sells ice cream because there’s no way I would’ve gone with you.”

Daichi shrugged, “you would’ve come, but whatever you say.”

“Lies.”

“Fine!” he laughed, “Do you want anything? On me.”

“Ice cream? In November? I’m good, thanks,” Suga scoffed in false superiority.

“Your coffee was iced,” Daichi reminded him.

He frowned, “that’s different.”

“How? 

“Iced coffee tastes infinitely better than hot coffee.”

“Fair point,” he reasoned. After realizing he had no idea what he wanted, Daichi turned to the man that had just claimed sweet things to be part of his brand, “What do you think I just get?”

Suga looked in the display, “hmm… Cookie dough.”

Daichi hadn’t even seen it, but he was glad Suga did. Cookie dough was probably one of his favourite flavours, so he ordered it.

Heading to the exit, Daichi noticed the way Suga pouted looking at the ice cream.

Daichi rolled his eyes and dramatically enunciated, “Mmm, this sure is delicious.”

Suga muttered, “I should’ve gotten some.”

It was his own fault, Daichi thought. Without thinking, he offered, “you want some?” Well that wasn’t what he planned to do. He was supposed to brag about having ice cream. What was this? Maturity? Impossible.

Suga brightened up, “really? Thanks.”

He held the ice cream cone in front of Suga and he took a lick. Well, at least Daichi knew that he wasn’t an ice cream biter like Noya, that was terrifying.

Even in high school, Daichi figured he was just too mature to care about insignificant things like indirect kisses. Now, he was requestioning his thoughts.

Taking the ice cream back and taking a lick for himself is suddenly a daunting task. Not that he would dislike it, but he never saw the significance until now.

Good thing they headed outside at the right time to conceal his face from burning up. 

“Hey, Daichi?” Suga mumbled.

He turned to look at the other man, “Yeah?”

“Um, I know it’s a joke and all but…” he requested, “can you not call me babe?”

Daichi apologized, “I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable.”

“Well, even if you were my boyfriend I just find ‘ babe’ so weird,” Suga explained. Daichi blushed at the prospect of being Suga’s boyfriend.

Daichi quietly agreed, “Fine, I’ll keep calling you Suga.”

Suga paused, “Or Kōshi?”

Daichi looked over, “Really?”

“If you don’t want to…” Suga mumbled. Look what you’ve done now, Daichi. He feels bad for bringing up an idea that you immediately questioned.

“You’ve already been calling me Daichi for a long time, why wouldn’t I want to?” Daichi reminded him.

Suga frowned, “everyone calls you by your first name, but I’m pretty much only Kōshi to my family.”

“So why me?” Daichi wondered aloud.

“I’m sorry, just call me Suga,” he looked away, uncomfortable.

“No, I just wanna know why.”

“Because… you’re really close to me.”

Daichi “I… you too. Can I call you Kōshi?”

Suga smiled at him “Yes, please.”

And then Suga stole his ice cream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am incapable of writing ahead apparently. I have a chronic illness called waiting until the last minute, and it’s incurable.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did someone say
> 
> _Self projection???_

The second he arrived there, Suga was already aware that this was not reality.

He knew this was a figment of his imagination made up to occupy his brain between now and the time he woke up.

In this realm, Suga wasn’t in existence. Yet, he was all of existence.

Dreams are funny things, aren’t they?

Where was he? Looks like the park near his apartment, but it had no end. The apartment buildings that surrounded a green space seemed… abstract. There was no way to fix them, Suga didn’t know how.

That made him think about all the things he can do in this dream. That was, anything. He could honestly do whatever he wanted. The real world wouldn’t be affected at all.

No consequences…

Maybe, there would be consequences within this dream, but outside, everything would be normal.

Damn, he wanted to go home. Comfort. 

The route he took was somehow the one Suga used as a kid to go from his high school to his house, yet neither the origin or the destination were the same.

Huh, funny, he thought.

Suga couldn’t remember being this aware in a dream before. To be fair, he couldn’t remember much. It was like he was in the process of recovering from amnesia, his memories all forgotten, but slowly drifting back to him to build a false world.

There was a severe lack of a space-time continuum.He had reached the apartment complex, severely bigger than it should’ve been, in a much shorter time than it should’ve been. 

The door to the complex led directly into the complex, and there wasn’t a roof above his head, just a void.

Daichi wasn’t here, in his home. This was an issue. Manifest it. Suga had no clue how he did it, but there was Daichi walking across the living room.

A sense of comfort flooded through Suga. This whole creation in his mind was terrifying, but there was someone familiar.

Suga ran over, his imagination forgetting that there was supposed to be a couch blocking him. 

A hug wrapped around him. It was something he knew to be a hug and knew that it felt warm and nice, but Suga still couldn’t actually  _ feel _ it.

He squeezed tighter, wanting to feel. It was such a strange sensation to understand the concept of feeling but not be able to experience it.

Then, he sobbed. No tears fell from his eyes, but he knew he was crying. He had to be. That must’ve been what was happening, right? Daichi wasn’t here. This was his mind making him up.

Despite his lack of a sense of touch, Suga knew his stomach felt sick. Not only did he  _ know  _ his stomach felt sick, but he could actually experience the sensation of nausea. That was strange.

He cupped Daichi’s jaw, who in return looked down and smiled warmly at him. 

Suga whispered, “you aren’t real.”

Daichi didn’t respond.

“Would you stop me if I kissed you?” Suga asked. It was a pointless question to ask someone who he was aware was controlled by his mind.

“No,” Daichi mumbled back. Suga wouldn’t realize until he woke up how accurate his voice sounded.

With that response, Suga moved forward slowly. 

He first raised himself on his tip toes and pressed a quick peck to Daichi’s forehead.

When he dropped back down to a few inches shorter than his partner, Suga stayed still, staring at Daichi until he gained enough confidence to interlock his fingers behind his neck.

He pulled Daichi forward and connected their lips and oh why can’t dreams have feelings. He still needed this to cope with his lack of confidence any other time. 

Suga still wanted to imagine what it would be like if Daichi snuck his hands around his waist and pulled him closer in the middle of a kiss. That’s what happened next. He understood the feeling. He felt the excitement it caused his heart. 

The physical sensations within him that were caused by emotions were still here, and they were addictive.

The feeling of carding hands through Daichi’s hair caused the emotions again.

Screw it, Suga was staying in a dream for as long as he possibly could. 

He had learned something, emotional and physical feelings were very similar, especially in a dream.

In fact, one had just completely morphed into the other.

The feeling of his lip being bitten was now an emotional feeling. Freaky…

This experience was still anticlimactic in general. He wasn’t kissing, and it wasn’t Daichi.

Suga backed off and pouted.

His mind had not fulfilled his need for a good kiss. Time to abuse the hell out of living in a miracle world.

This universe was a canvas, his thoughts were the paint, and Suga was the artist.

So he put down his thoughts of want onto the canvas.

The dream made Suga so excited, but he was nothing but let down by the lack of feeling. It hurt to remember that dreams didn’t have any feeling. He hated to think that a dream was the closest he was ever going to get to kissing Daichi.

So he did it again.

He kissed his love again, and tried to focus as hard as he could to make it feel real.

Suga was about to cry again if it weren’t for his success in this kiss. 

He temporarily forgot it was real just by paying such close attention. He noted that pressing his lips against Daichi’s made him kiss back deeper and softer, just like he had wanted.

Of course it was just what Suga wanted. This was his dream. He was creating whatever reality he felt like.

And now he felt like Daichi tangling his fingers in his hair and tightly gripping on, with a gentle tug, would be so goddamn nice.

So Daichi did it.

Suga was right, he hummed at the feeling of Daichi being possessive. 

The feeling of kissing was slipping away. Suga’s conscience pulled the moment back.

He felt more, more details. More softness, but also more force as Suga pushed into the feeling.

Suga pulled back and out before he could do much more. He bit his lip, which again registered itself as an emotional jab rather than a physical one.

Daichi complied, as to be expected. Suga was getting sick of this. The apartment crumbled around him.

Suga reached out for Daichi’s hand, so that he was the only part of reality that didn’t disintegrate.

They were on a beach now. The sand was paler than the moonlight, coming from a nonexistent light source in the sky. Suga manifested a moon, but it came out looking like a sun instead. Whatever.

He kneeled down by the water's edge on the beach. He curled up sitting down, holding his knees to his chest while staring out at the water until his head hurt.

Daichi sat down beside him and rested his hand on Suga’s back, comforting him. Suga smiled because, well, that’s exactly what Daichi would’ve done. It’s whatever he does when Suga feels a disconnection to reality.

He wanted to remember what that reality place was like. The real world. Every time he thought of it, he felt as though he was slipping from the dream, and he didn’t want to leave when he hadn’t even had a chance to do much here.

He turned to Daichi and asked to kiss him again.

Daichi shook his head and pointed across the beach to a pair of silhouettes looking at them. Boy, was that unsettling.

He frowned and stood up from the white sand. He ran towards the inky black water without a word. 

This time, there were tears streaming down his face. 

A dock stretched out into the water, Suga headed towards it.

His feet padded hard against the boards, and then seconds later, he heard a second pair. Looking behind him, he saw Daichi running.

Suga stopped when he reached the edge of the dock. His original idea was to jump off into the water and escape this world. It was scary to know that the walls could come crashing down at any time.

On the other hand, what if it never happened? What if the walls never crashed down? Suga wanted to get out.

Daichi caught up and grabbed Suga’s upper arm, “What are you doing?”

“Leaving,” Suga replied in a whisper. Daichi looked so hurt

He also looked incredibly confused, “Leave to where?”

“Home.” Maybe jumping in would get him away from the exhaustion this dream was causing.

He wanted to kiss Daichi so bad.

He already had kissed him.

But it wasn’t right… He wanted something real.

He wanted to be able to feel the thing he was so desperate for.

“What do you mean? Home isn’t down there,” Daichi gestured to the water. Dark depths that might get him out of this hell world.

“You don’t…” Suga started, but he couldn’t find the words to explain, “you can’t come home with me.”

“Kōshi… we have the same home.”

“Not… you. The real Daichi.” Suga couldn’t even make eye contact with this figment of his imagination.

Daichi looked confused. As far as he knew, he  _ was  _ real. “So… where’s home?”

“Where you are.”

“I’m right here.”

Suga smiled fondly, “no you’re not.”

Daichi frowned again.

Suga put both his hands on Daichi’s shoulders and leaned in again, “thank you, but this isn’t enough. I need the real Daichi, even if I can’t have you like this.”

“Like what?”

He leaned in and kissed him again.

Daichi’s hands returned to Suga’s hair. Suga moved his own to Daichi’s neck and pulled him in tight.

He moved his lips smoothly and gently, and then pulled his lips apart. Another layer of connection was added between them.

And just like that, Suga pulled back. He only saw a few tears gathering at the corners of Daichi’s eyes when he continued the motion.

Suga fell back and off the docks with his eyes glued shut. The ocean didn’t catch him like he had expected, and hoped, that it would.

He opened his eyes and saw Daichi fading into the distance. One last kiss would’ve been nice. To hear him say “I love you.” Had he rushed to get out of this hellscape? Maybe.

He closed his eyes again and felt something.

Not the feeling of some abstract emotion to represent the feeling he should’ve gotten at being enveloped by icy waves, but an actual physical sensation. The feeling was nice, too.

It was the softness of his mattress and pillows, it was the warmth of his blanket, and it was the cold sweat on his back.

Suga breathed deeply, recalling the dream he had just been in.

Oh. It hurt.

He had Daichi there, to kiss him, to hold him, to tell him he loved him. Yet Suga was back in reality.

A comfort zone. His room especially. Comfort and happiness weren’t interchangeable in this world.

He was sad, so very sad. He felt like he could never get Daichi. He was so close, but just out of reach.

Suga couldn’t stop tears from streaming down his face.

He let his frustration out, he couldn’t keep up the dam gates anymore.

It had all been gathering in his tear ducts, which now allowed salty tears to flow.

His stomach tightened deeply.

Suga sat up and curled his arms around his abdomen. Yet another form of comfort he could find.

He heaved, and cried harder.

Crying, in and of itself, made him feel more upset, which led him into a deepening loop of getting more and more upset until Suga was letting out gasping sobs and his shirt dampened from tears.

The snot dripping from his nose made it hard to breathe, so his mouth dropped open.

Tears, so many tears. He just wanted to be loved. He hated this feeling.

Wouldn’t it have been better if Suga had just been further away from Daichi?

It certainly would’ve made it easier to get over him…

A knock at the door made him freeze. Suga stopped breathing.

He heard a small, “Kōshi? Can I come in?”

Suga didn’t reply.

Daichi opened the door anyways. Suga scrunched up his face and tightened the ball he had curled himself into.

Suga mumbled shakily, “I never said you could come in.”

Daichi looked so full of concern as he rushed over to Suga’s side, “What’s wrong?”

Suga shook his head. He didn’t want to tell.

“Ok.. You don’t have to tell me.”

Daichi fixed it the way Suga needed him to, with a silent kind of comfort.

He sat himself behind Suga on the bed, his arms tentatively wrapped around Suga, not wanting to upset him further.

His actions were validated by Suga leaning back into the person who grounded him. The person who he gave up an ideal imaginary universe for mere minutes ago.

Daichi squeezed for a second, and somehow that was the most reassuring thing that Suga had felt that morning.

He sobbed once more. His hands raised up to the arms that held him and he gripped on tightly, begging for some stability.

Suga really had broken. The dream was just the chip in the vase that made it crack into pieces, the straw that broke the camel's back.

He heaved a few more times, and Suga was hyper aware of the tears that had fallen onto Daichi’s sleeves.

Lucky for him, Daichi seemed more worried about his emotional state than the dampness on his arms.

Suga shoved his eyes shut and gripped onto Daichi for dear life. Boy, had he spiralled out of control.

“Jeez, Kōshi, what’s gotten you so upset?”

_ You. You’ve gotten me like this, but you’re still the most comforting presence in my life. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t care if this chapter is quite a bit shorter than the rest of them. Oh yea, btw, expect much shorter chapters in the future like this one since the weekly deadline is stressful AF.   
> IT’S FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH PLS UNDERSTAND


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not sober when I wrote this, and it was not proofread.  
> If the characters are out of characters, it’s cuz I was also out of character.  
> HEY WTF EVEN IS JAPAN. I’M SO GODDAMN SHELTERED AND WHITEWASHED AND FROM NOW ON THEY LIVE IN A NEUTRAL COUNTRY THAT HAS ELEMENTS OF THE JAPAN THAT IS IN THE HAIKYUU UNIVERSE AND ALSO NORTH AMERICA/EUROPE.  
> To be fair, it already was but I don’t think I clarified that.

“Do wanna go to a theater instead tonight?” Daichi asked.

Suga blushed when he suggested it, “Um, sure. Why?”

“Why not?”

“But why? I asked first.”

Daichi sighed, “would you believe me if I said I just want movie popcorn?”

Suga laughed in victory, “actually, I would.”

“Great because that is my entire reasoning.”

“Okay, now I don’t believe you.”

“Too bad!” he cheered.

Daichi plopped down on the couch, while Suga rolled his eyes and ignored the prospect of ever getting a good answer out of him.

Suga sat down to work for the time before dinner, while occasionally bringing up comments that Daichi would lazily yet lovingly respond to. A simple, casual conversation that he found easy.

Daichi had missed this. It had been a long while since he could be around Suga without getting flustered. Plus with how much time they spent together, Daichi had spent most of his time tense and drooling over Suga.

(Then the author decided that she was too bored for this shit and moved on to the movie which I’m going to describe like it’s Avengers Endgame, yet make the audience’s reaction look like it’s a horror movie. Watch it’ll be so easy.)

-

The poster for the movie he had chosen was something filled with bold figures and a cool colour scheme. It was the fourth and final installment in a series of popular films.

Suga liked this franchise, right? Everyone did, unless the genre was an issue.

Daichi turned to Suga, “do you want popcorn?”

“Is that even a question?” Suga scoffed lightheartedly.

Daichi laughed as they walked over to the line for concession.

“Wait, only if you’re paying,” he amended

Daichi sighed, “Fine I guess I’ll pay.”

Suga elbows him as they get in line.

He orders a large bag of popcorn to split between the two of them and two drinks. They had boundaries, and they both wanted something different either way.

By the time they got all the drinks and went into the actual theatre, lights had been dimmed and the previews had started. Turns out that the best seats they could get were the crappy ones shoved along the side in one of the furthest few rows from the back.

Suga whined about it, “now I can’t see all the action up close!”

“Who knows, maybe it’ll get gorey?” Daichi joked.

He cringed, which Daichi found amusing. Why would he agree to go to a horror movie when that genre is known for gore? Oh, right, he agreed because the preceding movies had been more full of thrilling action and some violence rather than any stomach-churning scenes.

The movie finally rolled in and they both shut up. 

The world had been left a wasteland at the end of the last movie, billions had died. The survivors are left depressed and lonely.

Not even twenty minutes in, one of the protagonists rips his heart out of his chest. 

Suga gagged and stuffed his face into Daichi’s shoulder.

Daichi internally panicked.

Head. On. Shoulder. Want to protect him. What does he do?

Daichi short circuited.

Suga peeked up after the frame had switched over and removed his head from Daichi’s shoulder. He couldn’t tell if it was a relief or if he was gonna miss the comfort.

He couldn’t pay much attention to the screen, only the idea of being close to Suga in a way that could have a head lying on his shoulder. It just seemed so sweet and connected and generally nice.

Especially if it were Suga. 

It would be such a minimal change for Suga to just tilt his head, lie it down and Daichi’s collarbone.

He suddenly flashed back to that night where Suga had gotten drunk and he ran to the bar to save him. Suga’s fingers tracing over his collarbone had sent shivers down his spine, and sometimes even just the thought did.

Suga grasped Daichi’s shoulder, which made him jump out of his thoughts. He immediately felt embarrassed to be thinking some not-so-platonic things a few seconds ago.

He looked at the screen to watch a character jump out of the back of a portal in an old van in an abandoned junkyard where his wife had died. How terrifying.

Daichi understood why Suga was excited, the character who had just resurfaced was one of his favourites, if not his favourite. They were definitely a comfort character.

Watching someone lose their loved ones is saddening, so he put his hand over Suga’s for a second and rubbed his thumb against the back of his gently.

He then became too much of a coward and pulled his hand away. He didn’t wanna make a mistake, especially when he had clearly felt Suga tense slightly when Daichi had touched him.

What else had he felt? Soft hands. Very soft hands. Why were his hands so soft? Why did Daichi want to hold his hand again?

Actually that last question could easily be answered. It was the same reason Daichi wanted to kiss his best friend.

It wasn’t as though Daichi hadn’t noticed that they were the furthest back, with absolutely no one being able to see them. In fact, that was one of the first things he saw when they sat down.

At first, the idea of being farthest away from the movie seemed like a bad thing. There was another reason to hate this location.

Daichi’s mind kept on considering the privacy.

He kept on considering that if he were quiet enough, no one could catch him turning and kissing Suga.

His mind coming up with all these ideas was bad enough, it was worse when the ideas kept on playing through and god damn it he just wanted to watch the movie.

He couldn’t stop from glancing to his side for a second to see the silver-haired angel he was probably willing to die for.

Ignore, ignore, ignore. Intrusive thoughts were currently Daichi’s biggest pet peeve.

He had to remind himself of all the things that could possibly go wrong. 

Ever since he had first heard, “what’s the worst that could happen?” Daichi had always thought of the worst case scenario. It never helped. The worst case scenario was usually something he wanted to avoid, not something that he could deal with.

In this situation, the worst that could happen was a hate crime. After all, they were in a public and kissing him would be pretty gay.

Being as beaten up as the face on screen seemed not very fun.

Maybe… distracting himself with food. Movie theatre popcorn was delicious, maybe he could focus all of his thoughts on popcorn.

He reached into the bag to grab a handful.

There was a foreign presence inside the bag. A hand. Suga’s hand. After all, they were sharing the popcorn. 

They both quickly turned their heads and made silent shocked eye contact. Suga’s eyes widened and promptly looked back at the screen. Daichi blushed and shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

A few hours in, the climax of the movie had been reached.

The people who had died in the last movie all returned to life in the last battle against an alien villain.

Suga gripped his arm in excitement. Daichi realized that Suga genuinely thought that he was weaker than he was, and that was why his arm felt like falling off after all the abuse it had endured from Suga’s lighthearted ‘friendly’ punches.

He didn’t really mind. After all, whatever Suga did was fine by him. Even if it were murder, Daichi probably wouldn’t care.

Maybe it was blind loyalty, or maybe it was just friendship. With a little bit of a one sided crush in there.

A thing he had heard from his high school counsellor came back to him. It was an unhealthy habit to just think about the worst situation. Daichi had to think about the potentially good side.

A sliver of hope must exist, right?

Daichi wasn’t exactly used to having to keep secrets, so there was a chance that his crush had been blatantly obvious or at least hinted at enough for Suga to connect the dots. If that were so, then it was a good thing that they were still just as close. Either their friendship was so important that some emotions couldn’t get in the way, or those emotions were… matched? 

He could hope.

Of course, there was always the chance that Suga just hadn’t noticed.

Although, didn’t he? What about when he was teasing Daichi at the club. Wasn’t that because he realized Daichi’s feelings before he had even done so himself and wanted to get a reaction? 

Suga must have noticed Daichi repeatedly asking him to go out.

The protagonist just sacrificed their life to defeat the boss in a dramatic ending.

Suga’s hand that had never left Daichi’s arm wrapped around him. Suga was hugging Daichi’s biceps.

He looked over to see Suga crying. His eyes were also watering, but he wasn’t gonna cry. He wasn’t gonna cry. He wasn’t gonna cry.

Aw damn, Suga’s tears were bleeding through his cotton shirt onto his shoulder, and his heart tugged. 

His head now laid down on Daichi’s shoulders. Daichi was a warm person, Suga was like a cat curling up in the warmest place for comfort.

Skeptically, he titled his head to the side as well, resting it on top of Suga’s gently.

There wasn’t any protest, so he stayed like that for a while. Suga was so soft and nice of a presence. It was a presence and an energy that Daichi wanted to keep around.

Even after he eventually lifted his head off Suga’s, he heard a small whine. Daichi couldn’t tell if it was a whine of protest or a message to say ‘never do that again.’

He was sick of not knowing. Finding out soon was his new priority. To kiss Suga sometime soon, or at least confess.

Closure was what he needed. So far, letting the feelings fade away had not worked. He was getting more and more obsessed by the day.

Then he could move on.

Or maybe, just maybe, Suga would let him keep feeling like that.

When the movie was over, they left the theatre without waiting around for the credits.

They threw their popcorn out, which they had finished along with Daichi’s drink. Suga still sipped on the orange death in his cup.

The second they got outside, Daichi could feel the crisp cool air. His eyes had to readjust to the darkness of the night, saved only by the dim street lights in the parking lot and the LED signs of the theatre glowing purple.

He took off his jacket and put it over Suga’s shoulders. It had become a habit this fall, one that was spreading into the winter. Daichi’s temperature ran hot, and Suga got cold. 

Suga smiled at Daichi with a small blush on his cheeks. He looked good in Daichi’s clothes.

Yep, he had to know the reaction. He had to know which way it could go.

That was an issue to deal with as soon as possible, but not now.

Not in a parking lot full of people.

The grin flashed at him when Suga ducked into the passenger seat of the car while still wearing his jacket. 

His stomach leaped like it did on a rollercoaster.

Daichi was so fed up with his mind telling him “What if he would kiss back?” It was a small chance, but it was something his mind wouldn’t give up until he did something.

He decided he was going to kiss him by the end of the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omfg will they just fucking kiss already goddamn.  
> I’m going into lockdown, and likely therefore into a depression so just wait for my suddenly short chapters to get weird AF.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> daisuga makes me feel lonely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter again, but it's so goddamn good. you better appreciate it

Well that was definitely a movie. 

Daichi had just taken him to see a horror movie, not a genre that Suga was particularly fond of. He did like that specific franchise however, as they tended to pack a lot of action in with the actual horror.

Horror was something Daichi enjoyed more than him, while he leaned towards lighthearted subject matter. Suga didn’t mind seeing something outside his comfort zone if it was what Daichi wanted.

Suga stared mindlessly out the window on the drive home. Usually, leaving a theatre late at night left him very tired, but not today.

It was sort of unfamiliar for him not to want to collapse onto the couch five meters from the doorway.

He turned to look at Daichi driving, but his focused look while driving forced Suga to look away before he started drooling.

Suga wanted some talking to happen, so he brought up the movie, obviously.

“I can’t believe they would kill off the main character,” Suga mumbled in a sad attempt at small talk with his friend.

Daichi waffled on this one, “Well, it was the last movie in the series and people died a lot in that.”

Suga shrugged, “I guess so, I think I was just upset about it.”

He hummed an acknowledgment that hit Suga where it hurt. Daichi didn’t really want to talk much at the moment, so he elected to shut up and stare out the window as they drove through the city. 

To be fair, Daichi had been acting like this all day. He couldn’t seem to stay focused on the movie, instead losing himself in his thoughts.

The illumination of the street lights flashed over Suga’s face at the same pace as the song’s beat. That managed to distract him for most of the short ride to their apartment complex. 

When he stepped out of the car, Suga realized that he was still wearing Daichi’s coat. His face burned as he fought the urge to wrap it around him further.

Suga absentmindedly reached up to cling on to the jacket by its collar. He turned to face Daichi who had walked around to the passenger side of the car.

Suga whipped the jacket off, “here.” He shoved the coat away from him toward Daichi.

Daichi picked it up confused. He looked at Suga for a few seconds longer than necessary. They both scrambled to look elsewhere when Daichi’s eyes widened.

Suga rushed to the stairs ahead of Daichi. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), Daichi caught up pretty quickly and grabbed his shoulder. He lined himself up to Suga’s opposite and relaxed his hand so that his arm was draped over his shoulders.

That was smooth as hell.

Suga leaned into Daichi and lazily stepped on the way to their apartment.

“Did you like the movie?” Daichi wondered. 

Suga nodded, “yup. I liked when all the dead people came back.

He snorted, “me too. I was so upset after the mass murder in the last one.”

“I remember,” Suga laughed, recalling when Daichi had finally seen the third movie and came home ranting. 

“Oh right!” Daichi laughed, “thanks for putting up with that dumb monologue by the way. I don’t think I ever apologized after that.”

He shook his head, “no need. I like listening to you.”

“Even when I’m talking about something dumb?”

“ _ Especially _ when you’re talking about something dumb.”

Daichi hummed for a moment, then fought back, “what if I’m talking about something really boring?”

Suga looked away shyly, “well… I can just tune out whatever you’re saying and listen to your voice.”

“Listen to my voice,” he repeated, flushed red.

“Mhm.” Suga choked out.

Daichi moved his arm off of his shoulder to unlock the door to their apartment. Suga stood back without moving until his roommate went ahead, he was worried of ruining any moment that might have been happening.

“Are you gonna go to bed soon?” Daichi asked.

“No, I’m not that tired yet,” Suga replied in an upbeat casual voice, as he walked past him and around the couch.

Daichi cocked his head to the side, “oh? You usually are after we go out late.”

He remembered that? Suga shrugged and dropped down onto the couch cushions. Much more comfortable than the cheap, poorly-designed chairs of the local movie theatre. “I guess not tonight.”

“Huh. Me neither,” he realized.

“Well, you never really get tired anyway... At least since you switched back to a normal human’s sleep schedule,” Suga pointed out

Daichi laughed, “Who needs sleep anyway?” He joined Suga on the couch and tipped sideways to lay his head on Suga’s lap. Bold move.

“You,” Suga directed, but still with an overall joking aura. 

Daichi pouted, Suga smiled. “Please?” Daichi begged

“Please, what?”

“Please can I not sleep?”

“No! You need sleep,” Suga giggled.

Daichi’s voice dropped, both in pitch and in volume, “Only if you give me a goodnight kiss.”

Suga’s eyes widened, “Huh.” He had heard Daichi perfectly. Now to guess if he was joking around in a ‘kiss the homies goodnight’ kind of way or if he was actually willing to  _ kiss  _ him.

Please let it be the second one. Daichi made a fake smirk, “Nothing, I was just messing around.”

“Oh,” Suga was disappointed. Of course it was just messing around. That was what it always had been, right? None of it was ever serious.

He sat up. Suga silently winced, but maintained composure.

Suga decided to quickly change the topic, both to distract himself and to answer a question in the back of his mind. “Hey, are you ok?”

“Um, yeah. Why do you ask?” Daichi questioned back.

He elaborated, “You just looked like you were spacing out a lot today.”

Daichi stuttered, “I just… Um, there was a… case at work that’s really hard to solve. Yea, it’s difficult and I was… thinking about it.” A blatant lie. Was he even trying to sound honest? A toddler could have seen through that.

“Yeah, sure,” he frowned, not wanting to confront him.

Daichi looked away and an awkward silence washed over them for a short few seconds. Suga shifted uncomfortably.

“I guess I’m gonna go to bed anyway now,” Suga suggested, breaking the tension. 

Daichi stood up, as if he were going off too. “Ok.” Huh? What? Did he need to be walked to his door maybe ten feet away.

“What?” Suga stared quizzically at Daichi. 

He rested on Suga’s shoulder again, “Don’t be so confused, I’m simply saying goodnight.” 

Suga grinned, “Oh, thank you.”

“No problem,” Daichi replied. 

He wrapped Suga in a hug by his door, one which Suga quickly returned.

The feeling was akin to that of a warm blanket, but with a much firmer grasp. It was very secure and stable.

Daichi’s arms held Suga with one around his waist and one around his shoulders. 

Suga squeezed his own arms around the other and released, letting his hands drift away. Daichi backed up just a small amount.

Daichi’s hands were still on Suga’s waist. Suga bit his lip. He kind of liked being held like that. Almost… possessively.

He looked down to make sure his mind wasn’t deceiving him. 

No, hands were on his waist, holding him still and there. When Suga looked up he saw Daichi staring back at him.

Inches away. Looking at him.

Daichi’s mouth was dropped open, and his eyes were blown open. Suga was rendered speechless and couldn’t move, couldn’t even think properly.

He stared at Daichi’s face, and the closeness caused his vision to have to slicker between his eyes to maintain contact. Suga consciously focused on looking at Daichi’s eye, just his eyes, and he did not dare look away.

Deep brown eyes dared to drown Suga in the intensity of eye contact. All he could hear was their breathing and vague city noises outside.

Suga felt weird with his hands hanging off into nowhere when Daichi’s were held so nicely on his waist. He rested his arms over Daichi’s shoulders and leaned in a little bit. 

It was supposed to alleviate awkwardness, but that was not the end result. What Suga had failed to consider was how there was no awkwardness. What was there was tension, and moving and in had just made it tighter.

He so desperately wanted to move in further, closer, press their bodies together and then their lips. 

Suga just noticed the blush on Daichi’s face. He himself was also blushing, he assumed based off of the warmth felt throughout his cheeks and ears.

He inhaled sharply as the grip on his waist tightened.

Suga whispered, “Daichi-” 

He was cut off by Daichi’s lips crashing into his own. Was this happening? Was this really happening? Daichi was kissing him.

Suga had released a muffled sound of shock, followed up by a hum of approval as he softened his movements and closed his eyes.

The arms he had on Daichi’s shoulders wrapped tightly around his neck. The hands that were gripping his waist held him gently and slipped around to his lower back. Suga leaned forward and kissed back.

Daichi pulled back and away. Suga breathed deeply, realizing what had just happened. Time to try that again.

“I wanted my goodnight kiss,” Daichi whispered.

His fingers curled into the hairs by the base of Daichi’s head and he leaned in to kiss him again. Hopefully, deeper this time.

Suga daringly darted his tongue and dragged it across Daichi’s bottom lip. In return, Daichi pressed forward. 

Suga took a step backwards, which confused Daichi. He broke their kiss, and even dropped his hands from his back. His lips looked soft, and like they had just been kissed.

Suga didn’t like that he was stopped before he could even get to taste. He fisted Daichi’s collar and pulled him back. Harsh movements, returned by hungry desperation.

It had been too long since he had kissed someone, but Suga could never remember feeling so strongly about a kiss.

This time when Suga tried to move inside his room, he made sure to pull Daichi with him so he got the message. 

He walked slowly towards his bed, still kissing nicely. Now felt like a better time than any to attempt to pull Daichi’s lips apart. 

Suga suppressed a gasp escaping him as Daichi took the opportunity to stick his tongue in Suga’s mouth. Every point of contact burned hot.

Suga matched the movements of the other’s tongue and explored.

He twisted them both around, so he could push Daichi back onto his bed.

They kissed again when Suga lowered his head. 

He straddled Daichi’s thighs. Pushing forward, he kissed harder until he was lying on top of him. Kissing harder and deeper, his hand cupped on Daichi’s jaw.

The best part was everything he did was reciprocated. Every deepening motion made the other kiss back harder.

He breathed deeply, and his movements became softer until he pulled back enough to separate them.

Suga threw himself forward and hugged Daichi tightly.

“You have no idea how long I wanted to do that,” Suga laughed.

Daichi stuttered breathlessly, “Y-you did?”

Suga blinked rapidly, “well, I wasn’t gonna… if I didn’t want to”

“Gonna…” Daichi repeated, wanting the sentence to be finished.

He blushed, realizing what he did, “kiss you back. I wasn’t gonna kiss you back if I didn’t want to.” 

The original thought was more about how Suga had just pushed Daichi into his bedroom and made out with him on his bed. 

Well that seemed a little different than his normal behavior. He was touch starved, who could blame him?

“Kissing me? That was the thing you refused to say?”

Suga nodded and looked down to avoid eye contacts. He accidentally ended up staring at Daichi’s chest covered in a messed up shirt. His voice lowered to whisper, “I wanted you in here. I wanted you on my bed. I wanted you.”

Daichi visibly shuddered. Good. He liked knowing that what he said he had an effect.

He leaned over with his lips next to Daichi’s ears, “what? You want me too?”

“Yes,” he breathed out.

“I like you,” Suga blurted out randomly. That was more what he was used to. He scrambled to stand up and covered his face in his hands.

Daichi laughed, “I like you, too.”

Daichi stood up next to Suga and moved the hands covering his face. Suga smiled and leaned forward to give him a sweet, short kiss.

“Can I keep you?” he asked, wrapping his arms around Suga.

Suga laid his head on his shoulder, “would that make me yours?”

“You’re so cheesy.”

“But yes?”

“Yes,” Daichi confirmed. His voice sounded so soft and sweet and nice, and it was all for Suga.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did anyone peep the change to the description? no? ok


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> awwwwww

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suga is now Koushi

Daichi wakes up with his arms wrapped loosely around something firmer than his pillow. 

The bed felt off, different, and so did the blankets and pillow. They were too soft, too light, and too puffy respectfully. 

When Daichi opened his eyes he could tell exactly why, and it was difficult to stop himself from overreacting and freaking out.

The walls were a different colour than his, the room had a different layout, and the window had access to the sunrise pouring in and offering a warm glow.

This room was not his own room, and he was holding Koushi to his chest. His face was tucked into Daichi’s shirt, and he was likely still asleep by the slow rhythm of his breathing.

This had gotta be a dream. Daichi was convinced there was no way this could be real and then… memories from last night flooded his mind. 

Daichi remembered kissing Koushi, and clearly it had gone well. Even if he didn’t remember how it went, waking up in the same bed had to be a good sign.

And it was good, it had been so much better than his imagination could’ve ever made it out to be. Koushi definitely reciprocated, he had even shoved Daichi onto his bed.

He bit his lip to stop himself when he thought,  _ that was really hot… I kind of hope he does it again.  _ It’s morning, the time for innocent thoughts.

The silver ball of hair on his chest stirred, and Daichi looked down. That person was his now. Finally.

It only took them… what? A year and a half since they met?

Daichi strokes his fingers through Koushi’s soft hair. Oh, of course his hair was soft, everything about him had to be perfect. It used to frustrate Daichi, but now it just made his heart swell.

Everything around him smelled like Koushi. Daichi was thriving. The pillow, the bed, the whole room, himself, and… Koushi.

He liked the idea of getting to hold him like this more often, so Daichi elected to make it a habit.

A mutter came from Koushi, along with vibrations through Daichi’s chest where his mouth was shoved.

He breathed in sharply, he thought he might cry from how peaceful and beautiful Koushi looked right now. Daichi took a mental picture of this moment.

Koushi tilted his head back and opened his eyes to see Daichi. He immediately squinted them again when the sunlight hit his eyes.

He buried his face in Daichi’s shirt again and wrapped his arms tighter.

Daichi felt like he might stop breathing. Not from a tight grasp, but from the way his heart raced. A heart attack was not something to be unexpected.

It was simply a natural response to the waking up embracing the man he had pined over for longer than he could even tell. 

He still couldn’t guess when the platonic feelings had evolved into something more. In fact, Daichi was convinced that the two of them still had a strong friendship despite the romantic attraction interfering with his every thought for the last months.

Koushi breathed, “it wasn’t a dream.” His voice was laced with pure joy and contentment.

Yup. Daichi was going to die today. Everything he had wanted was right with him. A little part of him wanted to hear Koushi say it again, so he whispered out, “what?” despite knowing exactly what lovely thing had come out of him.

Koushi slightly altered his words, “you weren’t a dream.” Even better.

“Nope, I’m right here,” Daichi smiled.

A sweet laugh came from Koushi. 

They laid like that for a much longer time before either was willing to leave their bed. Daichi could see the clock set on Koushi’s bedside table. The time left him at least half an hour before he had to get up to get ready for work.

He thought about getting ready, and possibly imagined some cute stuff. He was definitely making pancakes this morning.

Would Koushi even leave his bed this morning? There wasn’t really a reason to on the weekend. He tended to get up later, and barely saw Daichi before he left.

Still, a tiny part of Daichi’s mind hoped that Koushi would join him just for the little time he had. It wasn’t as if he expected this every morning… but so much had changed last night, right?

His whole world had been mixed around in the best way possible. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had woken up in a bed that wasn’t his. 

To be fair, he was still in his home, and there had been plenty of times that he had woken up on the couch.

The time was really slipping past Daichi, he barely had any time left to lie here.

He kissed the top of Koushi’s head, an idea which would’ve seemed crazy a mere twelve hours ago.

Koushi hummed happily.

Daichi clung on tightly and rolled so that Koushi was on top of his chest. Koushi squealed. That had to have woken him up a bit.

Yup, Koushi sprung up with a laugh, “Daichi! What was that?”

“I have to get up now,” he excused. Daichi couldn’t help but notice that he was sitting on his thighs. Not that he minded.

Koushi pouted and glared at the clock. He gestured at it, “Stop the time, go back. Don't’ make him get up and leave.”

He sat up with Koushi, and leaned in to give him a good morning kiss.

What a relief that neither of them suffered from bad morning breath. 

Koushi held one hand on the back of his neck and one cupping his jaw. He was a really good kisser. If Daichi had it his way, he would spend the rest of the day here. 

Could he call in sick? It was definitely possible, but probably not the brightest idea.

Tongue.

Oh yes, there was tongue now, and Koushi was so willing to connect them through the best way possible- tongue. He kept making soft noises while they kissed. An occasional gasp for air, a few whines, and sighs of approval. 

The sounds were better than any music Daichi had ever heard (A/N except Touch You because that’s unbeatable).

Koushi tasted sweet and warm and lovely. Finally, he got something other than the lingering buttery taste of movie theatre popcorn.

He broke off from the kiss first and saw Koushi break out into a giant smile.

Then Daichi noticed something that he was stupid to have missed.

Koushi was shirtless. He must have noticed on a subconscious level at least, with his mouth being dry and his face burning.

Daichi buried his face into the crook of Koushi’s neck, he breathed into the warm, spicy, familiar scent and sighed.

“That tickles!” Koushi exclaimed when Daichi’s breath hit the bare skin of his neck.

That thought was silenced with a close-mouthed whine coming from Koushi as Daichi started kissing a soft stretch of skin above his collarbone.

His mind decided on a new goal as Daichi remembered how little time he had before work. That goal was making sure Koushi didn’t forget about him for the long period Daichi was away from his reason for living.

Was it too exaggerated to call Koushi ‘his reason for living’ or was it just honesty? Daichi thought the latter.

He tilted his chin up to say in his low morning voice, “you look really good without a shirt.” His lips were perfectly positioned next to Koushi’s ear.

Daichi swore he heard another whine come from Koushi at the words.

“So you like me saying that?” he muttered in a rhetorical question.

Koushi whispered, “you lied.”

Daichi sat back, his brows knitted in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“That night when I went out to the club,” Koushi recalled, “after we got home.”

His jaw dropped, “You remember that night?”

“Only a few split small memories,” Koushi shrugged, “I was in our living room without a shirt and you didn’t like that.”

“No, I liked it... I liked it too much.”

“You refused to admit I looked decent shirtless, I know that much.”

Daichi frowned and raised an eyebrow, “Decent? Bad word choice, you look better than decent.”

Koushi blushed, “stop that, you’re gonna inflate my ego.”

“What? I haven’t exaggerated anything.”

“Daichi…”

“I mean everything I say to you, ok?”

Koushi softened with pinched eyebrows and a shaky smile, “really?”

“Yes,” Daichi promised, “you’re beautiful.”

Daichi closed his eyes when Koushi cupped his jaw and dropped his gaze to his lips. He was prepared, yet the softness, warmth, and gentleness still shocked him.

They moved lightly, with no attempt at deepening anything. The subject matter of that last conversation had been sweet. That was reflected in their behaviours now.

He felt Koushi smile against his lips and broke off, keeping their foreheads pressed together.

He didn’t want to leave, but he knew he had to.

Daichi leaned back while keeping his hands on Koushi’s back. 

“You have to go soon, don't you?” Koushi whispered.

He confirmed disappointedly, “yeah, unfortunately.”

Koushi’s lips were pressed firmly together and his eyes were pouting, “I don’t want you to go so soon.”

“Me neither.”

“Can you call in sick?”

Daichi shook his head, “I’ve considered it, but I really don’t think it’s the best idea.”

“Come on!” Koushi whined, “Are you saying that your boss wouldn’t be understanding if you called him up and said ‘hey, sorry but I don’t think I wanna go into work today. I’d much rather spend it in bed with my…’”

Koushi trailed off. Daichi was confused, “What happened?”

“What am I?”

“Huh? You’re Koushi.”

“What am I to you?” He specified. 

Daichi fell quiet, with nothing but a small hum to indicate that he was thinking about it.

Koushi blushed lightly and looked down as Daichi intertwined their fingers. As he looked at the man in front of him, he only wanted to be one thing. And for the first time, Daichi felt like he had a chance of getting his wish.

“Be my boyfriend.”

Koushi’s mouth dropped open. He looked so shocked, although it should be really surprising. They had just woken up in the same bed, and exchanged soft kisses. Maybe it was a bit rushed, but he didn’t feel like waiting any longer. 

Koushi hugged Daichi’s neck tightly, “of course. Thank you. Ugh, you’re amazing.”

“You’re amazing,” Daichi blurted 

“No, you are.”

Daichi rolled his eyes, “you’re so sappy.”

“Shut up,” Koushi scoffed, “you’re more sappy.”

“Maybe, but you like it.”

Koushi blushes, confirming his suspicion. It was a blessing that he blushed so often, and even better when he looked so cute doing it.

“I’m so lucky,” Daichi smiled, voicing his thoughts.

“See!” Koushi exclaimed, “sappy.”   
  


“I see your point.”

Koushi laughed with his win. Daichi kissed him again to make sure he wouldn’t tease him again. There were no objections from Koushi.

Daichi was late to work despite worrying about it frequently that morning.

It was well worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *NEW CHANGES TO UPDATE SCHEDULE* From this point onwards, there will only be a new chapter every two weeks instead of weekly. If you need an explanation, no. 
> 
> JKJK I’m just not as passionate about stuff when I have to rush things and I’ve noticed my quality slipping. I really care about doing my best, so I’d rather take longer to get y’all better content.
> 
> So um yeah. Stream evermore please?


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes yes I give you a Christmas special

Koushi tied up the laces to his skates with a nostalgic feeling pooling in his chest. He had always loved ice skating when he was a little kid, but the opportunity had somehow always slipped away from him for about the last decade.

It wasn’t as though Koushi was a professional. However, he did skate pretty well until he was around thirteen or fourteen. That was the last time he could remember skating.

Daichi asking him to go skating on Christmas Eve must have been a fluke. They had to buy skates, but regardless, Koushi was just overjoyed to get back to a yearly tradition he had with his family growing up.

Koushi’s sister did quite a bit of figure skating growing up. It wasn’t Koushi’s sport, he liked volleyball, but they still had to focus on her sometimes. Around Christmas, and other times throughout the winters, they would take the family out skating.

After his dad stopped caring so much about them, that slowed down. Koushi went with his sister one year after she had gotten her own car and could take them out places without their parents. He remembered it being fun, so why didn’t his sister ever come back for him?

“Koushi? You good there?” He was snapped out of his thoughts when Daichi called out to him.

Koushi blinked a couple times to snap himself out of his thoughts, “Yeah, I was just thinking about my family.”

“Your family?” Daichi questioned.

He nodded, “yeah, we went skating a bit when I was really little.” Koushi didn’t elaborate, as he didn’t wanna start thinking about his family falling apart again. Anyways, Daichi didn’t really need to know about his completely average -yet sort of depressing- family when they were happy.

Koushi  _ was _ happy. He was out on Christmas Eve with his new boyfriend going skating like some kind of Hallmark movie (but gayer). 

The rink was bigger than the one back home. To be fair, living in a larger city than the one Koushi had grown up in meant that it had to be bigger to account for more people.

“That sounds fun!” Daichi said in response to Koushi’s explanation, “I bet you’re a lot better than me at this.”

“Have you gone skating before?” Koushi questioned. It had completely slipped his mind to ask, but he had assumed that he would have if he was the one recommending the idea. 

“Barely. I tried it as a teenager with some borrowed skates, and we didn’t even go to a rink. It was a couple neighborhood kids going to a frozen lake nearby,” Daichi admitted.

Koushi laughed, “so how did you do?”

“Actually I was fine. Slow, sure, but I didn’t fall as much as expected.”

“Oh my god, are you gonna fall now? Please don’t embarrass me, baby.”

Daichi laughed. Koushi could tell he had a stupid plan. “Oh my god did you call me baby?” he sang like the tiktok noise.

Koushi rolled his eyes with a dramatic, exasperated sigh, but went along with it, “Maybe.” Daichi smiled. God, he hated him. Not really, he thought this was dumb and fun.

“Uhhhh,” Daichi continued. 

“Is that ok?” Suga said before breaking down into laughter.

Daichi laughed with him, “Yeah it’s cool… I liked it.”

Koushi nodded and they both said in unison, “cool.”

Koushi laughed harder, gripping onto his stomach. “ Thanks baby.”

Daichi smiled with a little blush on his cheeks. Maybe it was the chill of the ice right next to them, or maybe he found his boyfriend cute when he called him ‘baby.’

It sent butterflies to his chest. He was in deep, but it felt so comforting to know he wasn’t the only one who felt that way.

“Can we go on the ice, yet?” Koushi pleaded. 

“Uhhhh…”

“Pleaseee!”

Daichi blushed and mumbled in a tiny confession, “I’m worried I’m gonna embarrass us both.”

Koushi frowned, “I’m sorry, I was kidding.”

“Yeah, but what if I actually do suck?” Daichi protested. He didn’t seem upset, he was just attempting to go back on the very thing that he had come up with in the first place.

He rolled his eyes, “are you seriously implying that I would care?”

“Well no…” Daichi muttered.

“So why do you?”

“Other people exist, Koushi.”

He clasped a hand over his heart dramatically and gasped with a feigned offended tone, “And you care about their opinion more than me?”

Daichi frowned, “Really? You’re gonna play it that way.”

“Yes, now stop being a coward and come onnnnnnn,” Koushi begged impatiently. He wrapped his arms around one of Daichi’s (a habit that was definitely brought on by his attraction to those muscles) and lightly tugged as a form of annoying Daichi into standing up to whatever anxiety he was feeling from the idea of messing up in public. 

Daichi submitted, “fineeee.” He stood up with Koushi, wobbling a bit but maintaining his balance by clinging onto his shoulder with the grip of a vice.

“Are you trying to cut circulation off to my arm?” Koushi complained, “‘cus it’s working.” 

“Sorry!”

_ Think about the bright side,  _ Koushi reminded himself,  _ maybe it’s a good thing that your boyfriend has a good grip. Kinda hot… _ Wait… NO DON’T THINK LIKE THAT IN PUBLIC.

Daichi still didn’t free his poor shoulder until switching over to the railing when they were on the rink.

“What are you, five?” Koushi mocked.

Daichi bit back, “Judge me all you want, I’m not letting go of the edge.”

“Y’know, it’s fine after you start moving,” Suga reminded him. Well, was it much of a reminder if Daichi couldn’t skate?

“I don’t believe you.”

“I’m serious. I don't even like standing still without holding anything.”

Daichi narrows his eyes, “fine.”

“Ok now… hold onto me, and just try to copy what I’m doing with my feet,” Koushi directs.

He feels the comforting presence of Daichi’s arm slung over his shoulder, he repeats the action and wraps an arm around Daichi.

Koushi starts slowly skating, but still at a quick enough pace to easily balance himself, and hopefully Daichi can figure it out, too.

He does, but leans a bit too much of his weight on Koushi to be that comfortable. Would Daichi take the hint if he tried to ease them apart? Just so that Daichi could stand himself, not because he actually wanted them separately.

He did not take the hint. Daichi acted like a little baby, holding onto Koushi like he was going to die if he released his grip.

Maybe this was a little mean, but Koushi had a way to get Daichi to start skating by his own accord.

Koushi took in a deep breath and something he knew would probably hurt, “Daichi, isn’t it kind of embarrassing that you have to hold onto me to stand up when you’re a grown man?”

“Sorry.” Daichi obviously didn’t like that, but his arm still left Koushi’s shoulders. He was being awfully understanding and kind considering that his boyfriend had just told him he was embarrassing.

Koushi took hold of Daichi’s hand. Daichi relaxed a little. 

It was probably a good idea that Koushi had forced Daichi off, they were much freer now.

Daichi had no reason to be scared of skating, he was a natural. Would it be best to let him know that?

Probably.

“Hey, you’re amazing at this, what got you so worried?” A side effect of Koushi’s reassurance was to make the previous jab seem like blunt honesty warped into a sarcastic jab.

“You,” Daichi scoffed.

Koushi laughed, “Why? Is it because I’m just a flawless skater.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, you’re at the same level as me with a ton more experience.”

“A ton? No.”

Daichi elbowed Koush and asked, “Does this mean I’m more talented than you?”

Koushi immediately replies, “no. No you aren’t. No no no.”

“Ouch.”

“I needed to stop you from becoming a narcissist.”

Daichi laughed. He pulled his hand, holding tightly onto Koushi’s, across his body, causing Koushi to bump into him. 

“Fine, you can be a narcissist,” Koushi relented. He moved from holding Daichi’s hand to hugging his arm. 

Daichi hummed, “you’re sweet.”

“Stop now or it’s becoming a competition.”

“On what?”

Koushi elaborated, “on who can be sweeter.”

“I would win,” Daichi assured.

Koushi lifted one of his hands to Daichi’s cheek and dragged his thumb across it. He lowered his voice a little, just enough to be sweet, “I’m sure you would, you’re amazing at everything you do.”

He’s pretty sure he said something sappy enough.

Koushi automatically won. Daichi couldn’t even formulate a response. He just blushed a bit, and moved Koushi’s hand away so he could skate without turning into a mess.

\---

When Daichi had decided he wanted to leave, it was barely one o’clock. 

“Can we go somewhere?” Koushi asked. He didn’t feel like going home yet, not today. 

Christmas Eve was an awfully busy day. There were people in the streets rushing to buy gifts at the very last second, and those just wanting to enjoy the city dusted in sparkling white snow. Koushi fell into the latter category, and he was about to force Daichi to as well if he wasn’t already with him.

Luckily, Daichi agreed, “Ok, where do you wanna go?”

“I wanna get hot chocolate, I’m cold.”

Chocolate. Hot chocolate. Candy cane hot chocolate. Candy cane hot chocolate with whipped cream. Candy cane hot chocolate with whipped cream with boyfriend.

Koushi really was living his best life.

It took forever to find somewhere that was open. It was Christmas Eve, but it was still a city. Places stay open here. Hell, even schools are in.

Maybe it was luck, because the place they ended up was an adorable small cafe. 

If the tastes were as good as the looks of this place, he’d be back in the future.

Daichi ordered their hot chocolates, and he strangely got Koushi’s order perfectly. Odd, considering how weirdly specific it was. It was one thing to know a person’s coffee order, but hot chocolate? Odd.

Actually no. Daichi definitely just guessed at whatever he wanted by ordering whatever had the most sugar in it. And his own came with extra whipped cream. Koushi was going on a sugar high. What? It was Christmas Eve, he deserved it.

Koushi swiped whipped cream off of Daichi’s hot chocolate repeatedly. He thought it would annoy Daichi. Even though that wasn’t the goal, it kind of caught Koushi off guard to not have his expected outcome.

He sticks his fingers in his mouth. Yum, whipped cream. Who cares if his own hot chocolate already had tons? You can never have enough whipped cream. Plus, Daichi ordered extra, he could afford to give some up.

And he did. He didn’t even mind one bit, or at least he didn’t show it. 

Daichi doesn’t even acknowledge it at all outside of a small smile that looks awfully affectionate. 

Instead Daichi just chats about whatever happened outside of his life with Koushi, which, to be fair, isn’t much. 

Although, at least there was  _ one  _ kind of relevant thing happening. 

Daichi asked, “did you wanna go? It’s ok if you don’t, I’m going wherever you are.”

Koushi screamed internally. Goddamn that was sweet, sweeter than the candy cane he was sucking on now. He remained composed in the outside and hummed before making up his mind, “Sure, a party sounds fun.”

“Really? Cool, I’ll tell Tanaka now,” Daichi replied while whipping out his phone. 

Koushi takes the opportunity to steal more whipped cream. He popped the candy cane out of his mouth and used it to scoop some of the deliciousness up.

It’s not like Daichi missed it, he just had too little time to react.

Oops, Koushi got caught. Daichi stopped halfway through the message to see the thief in action.

“Koushi!” he exclaimed. Koushi shoved the candy cane into his mouth hurriedly. 

He stifled a laugh.

Daichi stared down at Koushi’s mouth.

“What?” He asked in a deadpan voice. Koushis lip twitched up at the edge, which must’ve been a dead giveaway to his actual feelings toward being stared at.

In other words, Koushi didn’t mind his boyfriend getting distracted by him, it actually was quite flattering. It was still embarrassing for being in public, however, so he gave the reaction he would give to anyone else.

“Oh you have something on your lips,” Daichi finally pointed out.

Shit, whipped cream, he realized, “Oops”

Daichi shrugged, “It’s fine just lemme get it for you.”

Koushi panicked and assured, “I can do it myself”

“No way,” Daichi smirked and moved his hand to Koushi’s face.

He thought the hand on his face was there to get rid of the whipped cream, but instead it pulled Koushi into a kiss.

A welcome surprise, honestly. Still, Koushi was frozen in shock, and barely had any reaction. 

His stomach flipped when Daichi’s tongue dragged across his lower lip. He broke off.

“Don’t you think that was a bit much for being in public?” Koushi hissed. He can feel his face burning red from embarrassment. Goddamn he was flustered.

Daichi shrugged while a smug grin, “It’s fine, I doubt anyone saw us.” Fair point, maybe Koushi could calm down. Most people are minding their own business.

They are wrong. 

A small boy suddenly yelled out, “BOYS CAN KISS BOYS??? AWESOME!”

Of course it was a child. Children are the ones who don’t mind their own business.

Many of the people in the shop turned to the boy, and saw the child staring at the two. It suddenly became clear to everyone that they were two men  _ on a date  _ instead of just friends.

The woman standing with the child, likely his mother, turned to the boy again after glaring at Koushi and Daichi and scolded him, “no, not  _ ‘Awesome’ _ .”

They had to get out of here. Clearly, Daichi was thinking the same thing. He mumbled just loud enough for Koushi to hear, “Look, we’ve already paid for everything. Can we just get out?” 

Koushi nodded slightly, and Daichi took his action.

Swiftly, Daichi took Koushi’s hand and pulled him out of their chairs and through the small crowd of not-so-friendly customers.

He pushed out the door and Koushi finally got enough room to catch up to Daichi instead of just being pulled along.

Their hands still hold on tight to each other as they run along the sidewalk. Lucky for them, the snow was light and the temperature had been consistently too warm for any melting that would cause ice.

They were uninterrupted even when Koushi made the decision to pull them into an intersection. It wasn’t as if they were gonna be chased by anyone, but they were having fun.

He had no idea where they were going. All Koushi knew was he wanted to keep running to who knows where, and he wanted Daichi to go with him.

And he got it.

Koushi’s wide smile stretched across his face, and he laughed as Daichi yanked him left, towards a green space. At least, it was usually green. Right now was more of an all-encompassing white colour from the sheet of snow.

Koushi slows down, and Daichi stays with him.

The soft smile Daichi made at Koushi caused his heart to flutter.

He wanted to kiss him again, but not here. The park was relatively empty, but still too public for Koushi’s taste.

Daichi cocked his head to the side and asked, “what’re you thinking about?”

Koushi smiled. He could see that he was in thought? That’s weirdly endearing.

He still had his hold on Daichi’s hand as he wordlessly headed off the pathway and towards an empty section of the park. 

There were trees over here, and that meant privacy.

Maybe going home would have been smarter, but this was quicker and much more memorable.

Koushi thanked his boyfriend as he weaved his way through snowy trees, “Daichi, thanks for taking me ice skating.”

He snorted, “Thank you for dealing with me when I freaked out.”

Koushi laughed back. Then, he abruptly stopped in the middle of that wooded area once he had decided that they were far enough in that he could do something.

Koushi took a deep breath, “look, I wanna kiss you so bad, but I just don’t feel great doing it in public? Especially if you’re gonna go and stick your tongue in my mouth.” The ending came off a little harsher, but still with a light tone.

“Wow… I have so many different reactions I could give,” Daichi breathed out.

“You can take your time for them all.”

“First, I…  _ really _ like that you wanna kiss me. A lot.”

“Good, please?” Koushi whined.

Daichi chuckled, “ok second, I’m glad you told me that you didn’t wanna kiss me in public. I never wanna make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Jeez, you’re perfect,” Koushi scoffed, then he softened up a little, “You’re ok with that?”

“Of course I am. The fact that you ever want to kiss me is more than enough.”

“You need to raise your standards.”

“Hmm… Maybe I will if you kiss me,” Daichi joked. 

Koushi leaned in and finally pressed his lips up against Daichi. He felt so warm and happy and  _ safe. _

And he finally felt comfortable when Daichi moved a little deeper, with a bit more meaning behind his lips.

He broke off.

“Let’s go home,” he whispered.

“You are my home,” Daichi hummed softly with a cheesy grin.

Koushi rolled his eyes, “are you that cheesy?”

“What? Let me have this, it’s Christmas Eve.”

“Fine, only ‘cus you’re so hot.”

“Koushi-”

Koushi stopped him, “I didn’t stutter.”

Daichi muttered, “Someone’s going on the naughty list.”

Koushi elbowed Daichi in the side. He burst out in a full on cackle in response.

What a nice way to spend Christmas Eve. Koushi would say that this was his favourite one yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
> they're so in love


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet fluffy chapter which took too long to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This literally took me over a month to write and it’s pretty short. I’m so unmotivated
> 
> Halfway through writing the chapter, I was reminded that New Year’s Eve is Daichi’s birthday.  
> Don’t mind the crappy writing, I was too exhausted to actually put any effort in. Half of it was written drunk, and the other half was written in small portions over a month of depression.
> 
> please enjoy your finale chapter that really wasn't meant to be a finale chapter, but oh well. I am writing a second part eventually that DOES have a couple more plot arcs and a resolution.

“How fancy is it gonna be?” “Do you know how many people are gonna be there?” “Am I overdressed?”

Koushi thought to himself, _it should be me asking these questions_.

It was Daichi’s friends throwing the party, why should Koushi have the answers?

Koushi slid a hand over Daichi’s shoulder and attempted to calm him, “Daichi… you’re gonna be ok. Just wear something simple and no one will know if you’re dressed up or casual.”

“Oh… oh yeah,” Daichi agreed, “I think I get it.”

“Good,” Koushi nodded.

He asked, “Still, can you just choose something for me?”

Koushi’s eyes lit up and he quickly turned around and rushed over to Daichi’s closet. 

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Daichi laughed.

“Oh my, a closet free of paint and food stains,” Koushi gasped in delight.

Daichi cackled, “what?”

“It’s so perfect…”

“Are you okay?”

Koushi reasoned, “I chose to go back to elementary school every day.”

“Definitely not,” he agreed.

“Here, here, here,” Koushi repeated while shoving a simple robins egg blue shirt into Daichi’s chest.

Daichi looked at him with confusion in his face, “so I change into this?”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“Here,” Koushi told him.

Daichi blinked a few times, “I- what?”

Koushi turned to him, suddenly concerned for his boyfriend, “Am I making you feel uncomfortable? I’m sorry.”

“I… don’t know?” Daichi attempted to answer.

“I won’t look if that’s the issue.”

Daichi nodded.

Koushi swallowed and made the decision to continue, “I don’t think we’d get to the party in time if I got to see that, anyways.

“Koushi!”

“Whatttt?” he questioned innocently.

Daichi sighed. He scooped Koushi up and strided over to the bed before throwing Koushi.

Koushi panicked, “Daichi, what are you doing?!”

He shouted, “You horny idiot! You really thought I was gonna do something.”

“Well maybe it was more of a _want_ than a _thought_.”

“Koushi!”

“I’m sorry!” Koushi professed.

Daichi pointed to his doorway, “get out, I’ll come out too in a minute and then we can go.”

“But! Stain-free clothing!” he argued.

Daichi narrowed his eyes, and his arm relaxed down slightly, “You lost that privilege, now go to horny jail.”

“Horny jail?!’ Koushi exclaimed.

“ _Out!_ ”

“Only ‘cause it’s your birthday.”

Koushi actually did leave after that.

He pouted out in their living room until Daichi came out. He buttoned up the last few buttons on his shirt, before Koushi stopped him.

“No no,” he instructed, “with less buttons, you look more relaxed. Plus, you’re also hotter which is a bonus for me.”

-

They pulled up to the party in my crazy pink wig. (A/N I’m sorry if I haven’t deleted this by the time I’ve uploaded)

Koushi hadn’t gotten tense that whole night, until the moment Daichi had just rang the doorbell.

All of a sudden he was tugging on Daichi’s shirt and desperately whispering, “we’re going, we’re going we’re going.”

Daichi panicked and looked to Koushi, “what do you mean? We just got here.”

“I don’t like new people.”

“But.. your job…”

Koushi reasoned, “Doesn’t mean I don’t freak out! I haven’t met anyone here yet.”

Daichi tugged Koushi’s grip off of him, “Chill, Koushi.”

“Don’t tell me to chill!” he hissed.

The door swung open. A woman with cropped black hair and glasses stood by the door. Presumable, the wife.

“Hello!” They both exclaimed in unison. They stood a bit a bit too stiffly.

She looked concerned but calmly asked, “hi, are you Daichi?” 

“Yup, and this is my boyfriend,” he confirmed. 

“Oh, you two haven’t met yet?” Koushi asked for clarification.

Daichi nodded, “Yeah, Tanaka’s talked about her, but I’ve never actually seen her.”

“Yes, same here,” she said to Koushi, “I’m Tanaka Kiyoko, nice to meet you. Call me Kiyoko so you don’t confuse me with Ryuu.”

Koushi nodded, “Hi, call me Suga, short for Sugawara Koushi.”

“Is Daichi here?” A voice called from inside the apartment.

Another one yelled out “Daichi-san!!!” 

Kiyoko let the two inside, who were greeted by some short guy barrelling into Daichi.

“Wassup bro! Happy birthday,” he yelled. The guy with the buzzcut cackled from their sofa.

“I- uhhhh,” Daichi was caught off guard by the sudden hug.

The guy got distracted and turned to Koushi. Koushi’s eyes widened.

The boy yelled, “Oh, you’re Suga!”

Koushi nodded, scared.

He shouted back to the living room, “RYUU!!! GET OVER HERE! It’s Suga.”

“Oh yea!” the other Tanaka yells. OG Tanaka, if you will. He not-so-gracefully hops over their couch and yanks the dude out of Koushi’s face.

Koushi can’t help but laugh at the little angry man.

“Hey dude, what’s up?”

Daichi talked instead, “Koushi, this is Tanaka and the short one is Noya.”

“I’m not that short!” Noya protested angrily like the little angry man he is.

Daichi scoffed, “you’re the shortest adult I know.”

A loud, fake cough sounded in the kitchen over where Kiyoko had gone. It came from the other girl standing in the kitchen. She looked pretty short.

“Sorry, Yachi!” Daichi apologized to the blonde. 

“Shortest _man_ ,” Tanaka amended. Koushi held himself back from laughing.

Noya pouted, “Ryuu, you’re not my friend anymore.”

“YUU!!”

(Author is lazy and too drunk to write, so we are skipping to the next scene I felt like writing)

“JUST DANCE!” suggested a drunk ass Noya.

Koushi only had one drink so was barely tipsy, Daichi had to drive home so abstained from consuming alcohol, and Kiyoko had chosen against it. The other three were wasted though.

“Noya, do you wanna crash on our couch? you seem like you could pass out any second!”

“NO,” he shouts from on top of the coffee table.

Kiyoko scolded, “Volume.”

“Sorry,” Noya whispered, “but I have to beat you all at Just Dance first.”

“Just Dance?” Tanaka asked as he sat up from where he had apparently been lying on the floor next to the couch Koushi and Daichi were sitting on. Koushi shrieked and Daichi didn’t even attempt to hold back from laughing.

He rolled his eyes at Daichi and requested, “hey, can I play too?” 

“YES!” Noya shouts.

“Yuu, volume,” Kiyoko reiterated.

He nodded, “sorry.”

Tanaka fumbled around with the remote, in a sad attempt to get to Just Dance on the AGT.

(Will Author tell you if it’s on an X-Box, Playstation, or Wii??? No. I will not. AGT stands for Ambiguous Gaming Thing)

Kiyoko carefully said some things to Ryuu to convince him to pass the controller to her and she took it into the game.

“What song do you wanna play?”

“Toxic,” Koushi suggested. The dance was risqué enough for his currently-tipsy-self to want it, but was a solo so he wouldn’t have to do weird shut with someone he wasn’t dating.

Noya nodded, “A classic.”

“It’s not even that old- whatever,” Daichi sighed. He gave up on Noya (too dumb)

Daichi and Koushi both took college prep courses when they were in high school, so they’re smart jerks who can probably understand English. Therefore they understand the lyrics of Toxic, aka the best Britney Spears song.

Koushi gets really into it. So does Noya, but he was a bit too uncoordinated to have the same effect as Koushi does.

Regardless, Tanaka still yells out emotionally, “Get it, Yuu.”

Koushi turns around to see Ryuu clinging onto Kiyoko and sobbing. His wife silently laughs as Noya responds, “I love you, Ryuu.”

The song wraps up now (because The Author is behind and too lazy to catch up properly).

Tanaka 1 cheers for another song, and Tanaka 2 supports the idea.

Koushi protested, “I’m too tired.” He walked around the room and fell loosely onto the couch with his head landing on Daichi’s lap.

A small noise came from Daichi. Koushi hums in curiosity. 

“You’re cute like this,” Daichi explained.

Koushi laughed, “With my head on your thighs?”

He smiled down smugly, “Yeah.”

“They make a good pillow, what more can I say?” Koushi claimed.

Daichi was incapable of coming up with a response.

Ryuu looked at them with the most confused look on his face. As if he wasn’t hanging off of Kiyoko right now.

Tanaka mumbled up to other Tanaka, something Koushi couldn’t hear. Kiyoko nodded in agreement. 

Koushi must have been really tired, as it felt like mere seconds between Kiyoko agreeing to whatever Ryuu had asked and them singing a duet. It really seemed like it was out of nowhere, but perhaps his brain had just clocked out for a minute.

After a few seconds of looking around the room and trying to catch up with the changes, Daichi brushes his fingers across Koushi’s forehead.

Koushi stopped being so concerned at the calm presence of something so familiar.

He sat up and rested his head on Daichi’s shoulder.

Ryuu was still so lost staring at the pair. Suddenly, Koushi wasn’t liking the vibes he was receiving.

Koushi narrows his eyes and scoots closer to Daichi. Being stared at by someone who he had just met was an experience that he wasn’t very interested in going through in the future.

Tanaka finally blurted out, “Daichi, are you blind or something?”

“What?” Daichi asked.

Tanaka scoffed, “Damn, Daichi, just confess already. He’s clearly into you too.”

Kiyoko, who was introduced to Koushi as Daichi’s boyfriend earlier, looked at her husband in confusion. “Ryuu, They’re dating.”

Tanaka sighed and shrugged. He replied, “I know right? I swear they’re so oblivious.”

Kiyoko raised an eyebrow. Yachi laughed slightly next to her. 

“Ahah, Tanaka? We’re dating now,” Daichi laughed.

Koushi didn’t even make an attempt to hide the small hiccuping laugh that escaped him.

Tanaka’s mouth dropped open in shock. Koushi burst out into hysterics. Yachi followed.

“You are?? You’re together. Dating. Boyfriends.”

“Damn straight we arrreee,” Koushi muttered quietly into Daichi’s arm.

“Finally!” Tanaka shouted, “That took you forever.”

“Ryuu, volume.”

“Sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want a sneak peak into my planning notes? Here:  
> \- I want a NYE special chapter  
> \- Future readers who don’t read it on the holidays   
>  can suck my metaphysical dick  
> \- Holiday specials must be my weakness  
> Anyways, calling Noya a little angry man is making me laugh way too hard.
> 
> **!!REMINDER this is the last chapter for now, but I plan on writing a second part when life calms down!!**


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